(no subject)
It seems like everyday we talk more and more and everyday I like him more and more..
Well he is going to come and see me on Friday, that shall be so much fun.. I just wish I was skinny before we met.. I dont know what to wear.. I want to look good, dont know what to say.. How to act? Wow Im so messed up.. Its like I was comfortable with ryan that now when Im uneasy I dont know what to do lol.. A new person is frightening/fun/scary.. I dont want to get hurt again.. I dont want my mom to dislike him either.. I think she will, I dont want to live so far from him but maybe its good because he and I will get to have friends and seperate lives and see each other sometimes.. Like dating right, no commitment.. Is that what I need.. I dont know I want a lot... I want ryan as a friend but then its so weird.. I dont know what to do.. Ugh also I want to be able to do things I want but I want to have someone to curl up next to.. I mean like I want to go out with friends and I want to be able to do something without thinking do I need to ask? Right like yesterday I had the first beer in 4 months, because I wasnt aloud and it was nice. IT was something i didnt have to ask a boyfriend about.
Brittany
Well he is going to come and see me on Friday, that shall be so much fun.. I just wish I was skinny before we met.. I dont know what to wear.. I want to look good, dont know what to say.. How to act? Wow Im so messed up.. Its like I was comfortable with ryan that now when Im uneasy I dont know what to do lol.. A new person is frightening/fun/scary.. I dont want to get hurt again.. I dont want my mom to dislike him either.. I think she will, I dont want to live so far from him but maybe its good because he and I will get to have friends and seperate lives and see each other sometimes.. Like dating right, no commitment.. Is that what I need.. I dont know I want a lot... I want ryan as a friend but then its so weird.. I dont know what to do.. Ugh also I want to be able to do things I want but I want to have someone to curl up next to.. I mean like I want to go out with friends and I want to be able to do something without thinking do I need to ask? Right like yesterday I had the first beer in 4 months, because I wasnt aloud and it was nice. IT was something i didnt have to ask a boyfriend about.
Brittany