so i'm gonna sound completely nuts right now....
i feel sooo squirmy right now. i HATE this. =/ i feel like an ADD kid right now n it's sooo not like me. grrrr.. dunno how to stop it. kinda had an energy drink today n it did absolutely nothing for me..... maybe it's just starting to kick in like 6 hrs later??? doesn't make sense.
sorry haven't been writing. been krazy busy w/work and just come home n dinner n feed mara n bathe us n then put her to bed n read LJ maybe n then watch tv, cuddle n crash. so yup. not much time to update, but i', tryin n i still read. :) woohoo..
ahh i feel weeeeird. blahhhhhhhhhhh..
wait so who got cut from americal idol?? not that i really care much, but i totally missed the part where they got cut. i hope adam.. he creeps me out. yuck. kris allen was safe.. i like him. he's hot. :) so really, i don't care who got cut since it wasn't him. lol.
and here's the nuts part.......
ok so i don't know if anyone will know what i'm talking about but i get that sleep paralysis(SP) thing. i have off and on since i was about 5 or 6. that's the earliest i remember having it. i remember waking up n freaking out bc i couldn't move at all and i felt weird fuzzyness all over.. like a force field surrounding me keeping me from moving. kinda like when u sit on ur foot n it falls asleep n goes numb n feels fuzzy-like... but all over my body. really freaked me out. n i remember finally snapping out of it and running to my parent's room to tell them what happened n they said it was a bad dream or something n i grabbed a blanket n slept on the floor next to their bed n it happened again and i tried to scream to wake them up but i couldn't scream.. nothing would come out. scary stuff. anyways.. its been happening all the time. karl's seem me like that. sometime when it's first starting i can talk, so i would tell him.. n he once put an icecube on my tummy and i couldn't feel a thing. it just sat there n melted n i couldn't even feel it. sooo crazy. the other night i had just woken up from a dream and was kinda wtf about it and then everything goes blacker, but i can still see my room thru the darkness and i'm still awake n thinking n everything.. but it's like i'm flying thru space n stars n stuff, but my room is still there....... and i'm freaking out n flailing my arms around (not for real bc i'm paralyzed, but i am doing it... and then i realize i'm in the sleep paralysis thing and so i try to open my eyes (even tho they are actaully really open, but i can't wake up.. so use my hands to open my eyes and slowly my room becomes clearer n i can move my arms to totally snap back into reality. then i drify off into SP again with the same darkness floating thing and this time i am calmer and try to kinda swim... and it works. i was swimming thru space. it was nuts. then i pull my eyes open to wake up again. and i know it's not a dream bc when the background comes clearer i can still feel that same kinda fuzzy numbness. and now i'm really starting to read up on this whole SP thing... they say that it's actually the best time for out of body experiences. and last night i started getting fuzzy again.. and the darkness with my room in the background again... so this time i tried to sit up (bc ur supposed to try to sit up to get out of ur body) and it worked.. and i floated up towards the ceiling so i tried to swim to my door.. and i got to it and tried to swim thru it, but i couldn't and it kinda snapped my back into my body n i "awoke" with the same fuzzyness that i had to shake off. supposedly many ppl see hallucinations of ppl or lil devils n bad stuff, so i'm really scared of that. but we'll see what happens. maybe some of u know what i'm talking about n i don't seem completely insane. research says most ppl have experience some kind of SP at least once in their life. so i'm not nuts or anything. it's just where the mind is awake, but the body is still paralyzed like it's sleeping.. ahh krazyness.