(no subject)
OK, so a whole lot of nothing has gone on since I last updated. Except in my head maybe. Two years we've been together, two years. I love him so much. You wonder though, not that I would ever do anything stupid, but your mind does wonder. Is he really the one for me? What if we're broke forever and we never go anywhere or do anything with our lives? I mean, I know I love him and all but it's so crazy right now. We have nothing and that's not good enough for me. I'm not a gold digger or anything, but I want more, and I know I deserve more. The thing is I have always gotten what I have wanted. No, I'm not a spoiled little brat (I am a daddy's girl though) I have just always worked my ass off to get what I want. I never give up 'till I get what I want. So far in my life I think it's safe to say that there is nothing I have wanted and not gotten because of hard work and determination. Nothing in my life has ever come easy either. With him though, it's like he settles for what we have, which wouldn't be all that bad if we had something, but we don't. I want more, I want him to want more. I want US to work hard to get what my parents have. My dad worked his ass off for the awesome life he has. I can just imagine the pride he feels when he comes home to his beautiful house and family. All the nice things he has in his suburban lifestyle he had to work his ass for and he has a hell of a payoff for it. That's what I want. I want to work my butt off so that when I get where my dad is I can know the satisfaction of knowing I did it, that I was the one that worked so hard for it. I need someone who sees that in their future, not just settling down for now because we're young. Now is the time, we're young and able and we should be planning for the future and working hard together to get there, but he just settles for what we have, and I don't like what we have and where we are. I don't know what to do. Does that make sense to anyone out there in livejournal land? Feedback about this would be appreciated.