(no subject)
Had an alright day. Skipped Biology because I'm in a not caring mood, seems to be my overall mood really. If I don't care, I don't stress out, no one can hurt me, and it seems to be working decently well. Skipped Math yesterday too. Again, just don't care anymore. This place seems to have sucked the passion right out of me.
Sucks that it means letting go of any emotion towards anything. I don't really like not caring, but whatever keeps me protected.
Anyways, went to lunch, told Amanda about another dream I had last night. I don't actually remember it, I just have some inkling that it was sexual once again because I woke up thinking "What the fuck I'm getting so tired of this." So Amanda feels I am in some serious need of action, which kinda sucks because my conscious state is completely fine with my present state, but apparently my subconscious seriously disagrees.
Moving on, went to Spanish only because Angulo takes attendance and I had to turn in a composition. It was actually kinda fun today, as hard as it is to believe that. So then...had Biology Workshop. Once again, completely unnecessary and passion-draining, but at least "Bio Cop" didn't show up. So then had dinner with Katie and then played some IM volleyball. We won our first match by forfeit (not so much fun :/) and won the second match by two games. That one was so much fun. I played so much better than I ever have, I think because there wasn't the same pressure as there is on an actual team. I didn't have the same anxiety that I used to have - everything just flowed, I just somehow knew what to do, and when I did mess up I didn't kick myself for it; I laughed and I got ready for the next play. I've never had so much fun playing in my entire life - playing tonight reminded me why I love this sport. I even had time to go to PPP with Katie which was actually really fun.
Sucks that it means letting go of any emotion towards anything. I don't really like not caring, but whatever keeps me protected.
Anyways, went to lunch, told Amanda about another dream I had last night. I don't actually remember it, I just have some inkling that it was sexual once again because I woke up thinking "What the fuck I'm getting so tired of this." So Amanda feels I am in some serious need of action, which kinda sucks because my conscious state is completely fine with my present state, but apparently my subconscious seriously disagrees.
Moving on, went to Spanish only because Angulo takes attendance and I had to turn in a composition. It was actually kinda fun today, as hard as it is to believe that. So then...had Biology Workshop. Once again, completely unnecessary and passion-draining, but at least "Bio Cop" didn't show up. So then had dinner with Katie and then played some IM volleyball. We won our first match by forfeit (not so much fun :/) and won the second match by two games. That one was so much fun. I played so much better than I ever have, I think because there wasn't the same pressure as there is on an actual team. I didn't have the same anxiety that I used to have - everything just flowed, I just somehow knew what to do, and when I did mess up I didn't kick myself for it; I laughed and I got ready for the next play. I've never had so much fun playing in my entire life - playing tonight reminded me why I love this sport. I even had time to go to PPP with Katie which was actually really fun.