Memories
So! My surgery went all goodie-yo in the hoodie-yo (man that's embarassing) and I'm recovering quite nice. I had to get a shunt put in my lower back on thursday to help drain some extra fluid out. They were going to put it at some point in my brain and I kicked and screamed out of that.... So that's good. Lol I'm sitting in le hospitale typing on my sidekick thingy... And with a lot of time, and a lot of morphine at my disposal I was thinking of some random ass memories that I would like to share.
Warning: I'm going to be blabbing a lot... So you might wanna use the bathroom before you read this. Lol
1. As my brother and I were talking yesterday... He reminded me of a time that he purposely set me up to get my ass whooped by my mom. We had twin beds that had bookcases on top... And my brother and I shared a room. Along with the big ass list of chores we had to do everyday.. We had to make sure that our bookcases were neat and dusted. Me, trying to be a goodie two shoes, cleaned mines thoroughly while he was watching tv... Then I nagged him about getting his done. I proudfully walked out in the room and treated myself to the living room television to watch Total Recall. My mom gets home.... And I'm quick to pull her into the room to show her the good job I did with my bookcase. I get in the room... And my bookcase is totally trashed and my brother's case is emmaculent. Too stunned to say anything... My momma got her belt with a quickness and gave me a nice thorough ass beatin. Good one Corey... Good one. Lol
2. There was a time that I just got in the junior class of our church at sunday school. It was definitely better than being in the primary class... That shit was boring. So all of my cousins are in that class and we all sat a long table. My mom had cooked a flame ass breakfast.... (Hash bowns, toast, eggs, bacon) and I was very full that morning at sunday school. Maybe a bit too full. Lol I raised my hand and asked if I could go to the restroom. My aunt/teacher let me go. The events that happen between my ass and that bathroom were incredible that morning. Lol... I spent 45 minutes asking God to take all the demons out that infected me with the shitters. Not that that was bad enough, as soon as I came out of the bathroom... The whole junior class clapped and cheered. Assholes.
3. Now... All of my Upland friends will be familiar with this fact. The backstage door of the theatre used to be the easiest way to escape for lunch if you were underage. Well, they started to monitor it a bit more carefully after my freshman year. So me and my partner in crime, Paul Harris, decided that we were going to jump over the track gate fence. Well, being that he was quite athletic... He did it with no problem. But... With all the wagon that I was draggin.. I needed everything but a helicopter to get my ass over there. We set up a trash can that I could step on and then I could try to hoist myself over. Well.. In the midst of trying to get fully over the gate, my pants get stuck and totally rip in half. To put the icing on the cake... Truancy police pulled up right at that second.
You enjoying my life so far? Lol
4. This is a very general memory... But every one knows I was dirt poor in high school. When we used to have theatre parties... People used to bring cookies and chips and sodas... And I would bring foil and containers to wrap all that shit up. Totally ghetto... But I'm a champ.
5 a. Ha! Couple memories with my girl Siobhan (pronounced shavon) coming up. Now... If anybody knows anything about her... You would certainly know that she is buck as fuck. Quiet at first... But give her a couple minutes and we are doing crazy shit like the following. One of our favorite activities used to be simply riding on the south and west sides of chicago. This sounds horrible... But the people are such a spectacle. So we decided that one night, we were going to find random dudes on the street in her car... Pull over, and I would flash them my titty and drive off. I will never forget the faces of the men I made happy that night. (Or horrified. Lol)
5 b.there was a time that I caught the bus to indianapolis when her dad was working there for the weekend and her family was posted up in a hotel. Well... They decided that they were going to see a family member... And siobhan and I decided to be lazy and stay behind in the hotel. Well! We then, like always, figured out that we wanted to get open. I went to the store and got a bottle of champagne.... And we watched a flavor of love marathon. There is nothing better. (More siobhan stories continued later)
6. There is nothing that makes me happier than the thought of eating a big ass breakfast in calico with Tess, mark, and kory. Well, maybe the thought of being in that cave. That shit was crazy.
7. Arthur. I still remember that you cross your hands on the steering wheel when you drive your celebrity. And speaking of you... I would have been very satisfied spending days just practicing and watching ghost with you and jackie. We didn't even want to rehearse....ooo and you gave us orange soda.
8. Barrie, I hold the first time we smoked weed together in the front of kenny shoulders house very near and dear to my heart. ;) You are my girl.
9. I've brought it up before... But that long convo we had in borders was sooooo cool Jenny. I wish I could talk to you more.
10. Lizzy: pussy. Nothing more needs to be said.
11. I love watching and evaluatong porn with siobhan and christine. We are three gross men.
12. Christine: (following lyrics are in the tune of) Can't nobody (by chaka khan)
Christine's verse (written by nina ross)
When I sucked you dick
It was so long
I know that you can make it hard
Make it real strong!
And when you cum in my mouth
I feel happy
And when its all in my face
I want you to slap me!
I want you to hit it from the back
And I want it to last forever!
Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa!
Can't nobody!
Fuck me better!
Make me cum and....
Make me feel this way (repeat 2x)
My verse (written by myself)
When you eat me out
I feel so right
I'm going to ride your dick
Ill fuck you all night!
I got big tittays
And you gon taste em
We got two condoms left
So don't you waste em!
When the last condoms on
I hope your hard on lasts forever!
(Repeat chorus)
Louis and mark were definitely frightened. Lol
13. I remember my freshman year in college where I had my niggas Siobhan, Christine, Nina, and stacey over the crib. (With a couple random other dudes.) But somehow, we ended up talking in my bathroom about sex of course. Extremely interesting to say the least.
14. Christine, you remember a couple of weeks ago when we snapped and decided to make 800 courses in one day? That was sooo much fun.
15. I remember being the third grade treasurer of my class and takin those little muthafuckas money. So corrupt... So young.
16. I remember being so poor at one point in high school that we lived out of my moms kia for 3 months and I would have to find an outlet to plug up our iron so we can toast the frozen waffles we had left between a brown paper bag. I'm truly thankful for where I am today.
17. Ha! This one is quite personal so if you don't like tmi skip this. I was having sex with my then boyfriend sam my freshman year. I lived on the 9th floor and decided that I wanted to be different and crazy. I was like, "I wanna do it halfway stickin my head out the window..." Well, him being a dude and not really caring how he got it as long as he was getting it lol, he agreed. The air felt really good against my face and I started to get into it... When my weave blows off my head and I watch it trickle down 9 floors. He's laughing hysterically... And me being a black woman... Its your weave first... Then everything else next. Lol no more sex out the window for carla.
18. On another south side note with Siobhan.... Remember we went to that harolds by 47th and king late at night and you saw that crack head with a cell phone? Lol it was a woman... Who was obviously on that shit... Beggin... But had a cell! Hilarious. That's the same night that other crack head try to reach for the two wings I was going to give him. Frightening.
Ah! Blood pressure time. Ill continue my memories tonight when I'm bored. I have so much more.
Much love,
Carla
Warning: I'm going to be blabbing a lot... So you might wanna use the bathroom before you read this. Lol
1. As my brother and I were talking yesterday... He reminded me of a time that he purposely set me up to get my ass whooped by my mom. We had twin beds that had bookcases on top... And my brother and I shared a room. Along with the big ass list of chores we had to do everyday.. We had to make sure that our bookcases were neat and dusted. Me, trying to be a goodie two shoes, cleaned mines thoroughly while he was watching tv... Then I nagged him about getting his done. I proudfully walked out in the room and treated myself to the living room television to watch Total Recall. My mom gets home.... And I'm quick to pull her into the room to show her the good job I did with my bookcase. I get in the room... And my bookcase is totally trashed and my brother's case is emmaculent. Too stunned to say anything... My momma got her belt with a quickness and gave me a nice thorough ass beatin. Good one Corey... Good one. Lol
2. There was a time that I just got in the junior class of our church at sunday school. It was definitely better than being in the primary class... That shit was boring. So all of my cousins are in that class and we all sat a long table. My mom had cooked a flame ass breakfast.... (Hash bowns, toast, eggs, bacon) and I was very full that morning at sunday school. Maybe a bit too full. Lol I raised my hand and asked if I could go to the restroom. My aunt/teacher let me go. The events that happen between my ass and that bathroom were incredible that morning. Lol... I spent 45 minutes asking God to take all the demons out that infected me with the shitters. Not that that was bad enough, as soon as I came out of the bathroom... The whole junior class clapped and cheered. Assholes.
3. Now... All of my Upland friends will be familiar with this fact. The backstage door of the theatre used to be the easiest way to escape for lunch if you were underage. Well, they started to monitor it a bit more carefully after my freshman year. So me and my partner in crime, Paul Harris, decided that we were going to jump over the track gate fence. Well, being that he was quite athletic... He did it with no problem. But... With all the wagon that I was draggin.. I needed everything but a helicopter to get my ass over there. We set up a trash can that I could step on and then I could try to hoist myself over. Well.. In the midst of trying to get fully over the gate, my pants get stuck and totally rip in half. To put the icing on the cake... Truancy police pulled up right at that second.
You enjoying my life so far? Lol
4. This is a very general memory... But every one knows I was dirt poor in high school. When we used to have theatre parties... People used to bring cookies and chips and sodas... And I would bring foil and containers to wrap all that shit up. Totally ghetto... But I'm a champ.
5 a. Ha! Couple memories with my girl Siobhan (pronounced shavon) coming up. Now... If anybody knows anything about her... You would certainly know that she is buck as fuck. Quiet at first... But give her a couple minutes and we are doing crazy shit like the following. One of our favorite activities used to be simply riding on the south and west sides of chicago. This sounds horrible... But the people are such a spectacle. So we decided that one night, we were going to find random dudes on the street in her car... Pull over, and I would flash them my titty and drive off. I will never forget the faces of the men I made happy that night. (Or horrified. Lol)
5 b.there was a time that I caught the bus to indianapolis when her dad was working there for the weekend and her family was posted up in a hotel. Well... They decided that they were going to see a family member... And siobhan and I decided to be lazy and stay behind in the hotel. Well! We then, like always, figured out that we wanted to get open. I went to the store and got a bottle of champagne.... And we watched a flavor of love marathon. There is nothing better. (More siobhan stories continued later)
6. There is nothing that makes me happier than the thought of eating a big ass breakfast in calico with Tess, mark, and kory. Well, maybe the thought of being in that cave. That shit was crazy.
7. Arthur. I still remember that you cross your hands on the steering wheel when you drive your celebrity. And speaking of you... I would have been very satisfied spending days just practicing and watching ghost with you and jackie. We didn't even want to rehearse....ooo and you gave us orange soda.
8. Barrie, I hold the first time we smoked weed together in the front of kenny shoulders house very near and dear to my heart. ;) You are my girl.
9. I've brought it up before... But that long convo we had in borders was sooooo cool Jenny. I wish I could talk to you more.
10. Lizzy: pussy. Nothing more needs to be said.
11. I love watching and evaluatong porn with siobhan and christine. We are three gross men.
12. Christine: (following lyrics are in the tune of) Can't nobody (by chaka khan)
Christine's verse (written by nina ross)
When I sucked you dick
It was so long
I know that you can make it hard
Make it real strong!
And when you cum in my mouth
I feel happy
And when its all in my face
I want you to slap me!
I want you to hit it from the back
And I want it to last forever!
Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa!
Can't nobody!
Fuck me better!
Make me cum and....
Make me feel this way (repeat 2x)
My verse (written by myself)
When you eat me out
I feel so right
I'm going to ride your dick
Ill fuck you all night!
I got big tittays
And you gon taste em
We got two condoms left
So don't you waste em!
When the last condoms on
I hope your hard on lasts forever!
(Repeat chorus)
Louis and mark were definitely frightened. Lol
13. I remember my freshman year in college where I had my niggas Siobhan, Christine, Nina, and stacey over the crib. (With a couple random other dudes.) But somehow, we ended up talking in my bathroom about sex of course. Extremely interesting to say the least.
14. Christine, you remember a couple of weeks ago when we snapped and decided to make 800 courses in one day? That was sooo much fun.
15. I remember being the third grade treasurer of my class and takin those little muthafuckas money. So corrupt... So young.
16. I remember being so poor at one point in high school that we lived out of my moms kia for 3 months and I would have to find an outlet to plug up our iron so we can toast the frozen waffles we had left between a brown paper bag. I'm truly thankful for where I am today.
17. Ha! This one is quite personal so if you don't like tmi skip this. I was having sex with my then boyfriend sam my freshman year. I lived on the 9th floor and decided that I wanted to be different and crazy. I was like, "I wanna do it halfway stickin my head out the window..." Well, him being a dude and not really caring how he got it as long as he was getting it lol, he agreed. The air felt really good against my face and I started to get into it... When my weave blows off my head and I watch it trickle down 9 floors. He's laughing hysterically... And me being a black woman... Its your weave first... Then everything else next. Lol no more sex out the window for carla.
18. On another south side note with Siobhan.... Remember we went to that harolds by 47th and king late at night and you saw that crack head with a cell phone? Lol it was a woman... Who was obviously on that shit... Beggin... But had a cell! Hilarious. That's the same night that other crack head try to reach for the two wings I was going to give him. Frightening.
Ah! Blood pressure time. Ill continue my memories tonight when I'm bored. I have so much more.
Much love,
Carla