(no subject)
so, it sounds dumb but i was actually pretty pumped to go camping with ben's family. i was going to learn how to shoot a gun and drink beer around a campfire. the thrill of leaving this place for a second really had me going.
however, ben's dad decided this week that he doesn't feel like it and it was the only weekend that ben could take off all summer. i saved the day by planning a trip to tawas (it literally worked out just 5 minutes ago) but my grandpa and mom will be driving. i feel 15 all over again. i have to do work for mum the minute i get back.
i miss when i was younger and didn't care about anything and left whenever i wanted and didn't care about when i came back. although i guess it's that kind of behavior that got me kicked out haha. i've pretty much done everything right since i made the effort to change over a year ago. so why isn't my going right? becoming boring did not help at all.
i wish that i had parents who would just give me a nice car. i'm grateful for my beater car but it would be nice if i could drive out of the county once in awhile.
i just got really depressed randomly today at work because i couldn't afford to do anything cool nearby. it makes me feel like my life is pointless. what is the point of making money when you don't have the means to do anything cheap and can't afford anything nice. what is the point? THERE IS NONE. i am convinced.
mum, god love her, gives me the dumbest advice sometimes. she said that it's not money that matters but the quality of life, how many friends i have. i have plenty of friends but NO FUCKING WAY TO GET TO THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL GOING AWAY. im pumped for them, but also jealous. she also stated that if i want money than i need to change my major. so pretty much, "Give up a life of doing what you love so that you can make money which is unimportant." ideal advice, dear parent.
i feel bad that virginia always has to come up here to see me and ben and we can never make it down there. it's sad that she has to drive to shields to my cousin's birthday party just to see me. she's a great friend.
tonight will be the last time i see my natalie before she leaves. everyone else leaves next weekend. maybe i will too. hitchhiking has a thrill to it.
however, ben's dad decided this week that he doesn't feel like it and it was the only weekend that ben could take off all summer. i saved the day by planning a trip to tawas (it literally worked out just 5 minutes ago) but my grandpa and mom will be driving. i feel 15 all over again. i have to do work for mum the minute i get back.
i miss when i was younger and didn't care about anything and left whenever i wanted and didn't care about when i came back. although i guess it's that kind of behavior that got me kicked out haha. i've pretty much done everything right since i made the effort to change over a year ago. so why isn't my going right? becoming boring did not help at all.
i wish that i had parents who would just give me a nice car. i'm grateful for my beater car but it would be nice if i could drive out of the county once in awhile.
i just got really depressed randomly today at work because i couldn't afford to do anything cool nearby. it makes me feel like my life is pointless. what is the point of making money when you don't have the means to do anything cheap and can't afford anything nice. what is the point? THERE IS NONE. i am convinced.
mum, god love her, gives me the dumbest advice sometimes. she said that it's not money that matters but the quality of life, how many friends i have. i have plenty of friends but NO FUCKING WAY TO GET TO THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL GOING AWAY. im pumped for them, but also jealous. she also stated that if i want money than i need to change my major. so pretty much, "Give up a life of doing what you love so that you can make money which is unimportant." ideal advice, dear parent.
i feel bad that virginia always has to come up here to see me and ben and we can never make it down there. it's sad that she has to drive to shields to my cousin's birthday party just to see me. she's a great friend.
tonight will be the last time i see my natalie before she leaves. everyone else leaves next weekend. maybe i will too. hitchhiking has a thrill to it.