A Revelation (aka My World Came Crashing Down)
I'm going to make an excruciatingly long story short and try to hold back the tears while doing so:
Today I found out the truth. I found out exactly why Caleb left me and he didn't tell me. He's dating Rachel again. I broke down when I saw.
I'd been snooping around MySpace for her profile just so I could see what she looked like. Well, I found it. Caleb also has a MySpace (which I found out about today). His screen name is "I LOVE RACHEL", but that's not even the heart wrenching part. His photo for his profile is of him kissing her... on Januray 9th of this year. What an asshole.
Turns out that there are alot of messages that they wrote back and forth to each other right at the time he broke up with me. Actually, before I even found out that we were over. How fucking fantastic. He cheated on me. Caleb cheated on me. He was seeing her while he was seeing me.
Obviously I cried for a long time. That was worse than finding out that he was breaking up with me. That was worse than him not contacting me. That was worse than standing in fire. He promise me the world and all of it was a lie. He said he loved me then spit in my face.
To make things worse (as if they could be) I got to see all of these pictures that they took of each other and together throughout December(last year) and January (this year). God, this is bullshit.
I don't want to think about it anymore, though. As far as I'm concerned, he's dead. I'll never talk to him again. I sent him a message on MySpace that said what I wanted to say and now I'm through. I did have a "secret plan" for revenge, but I'm so sick of these people that I just want to forget them. I hate him. I honestly hate Caleb. I don't think I love him anymore. He's lost all of his friends and someone that would've done anything for him and for what? Nothing. A stupid fucking whore that he'll grow tired of when she starts putting out her cigarette butts on his arms again. Or when she spits in his face again. or when she claws him. Or when she claims he raped her. He'll grow tired of her bullshit, but then he won't have anyone but her to run to. He has no one else.
I was going to write somemore about Pedro. How he makes me feel good and beautiful and right, but I can't because I just want to go to bed before I lose my control again. I'm trying to continue on with recovery, although it feels like a lost cause. I won't let something else beat me.
Today I found out the truth. I found out exactly why Caleb left me and he didn't tell me. He's dating Rachel again. I broke down when I saw.
I'd been snooping around MySpace for her profile just so I could see what she looked like. Well, I found it. Caleb also has a MySpace (which I found out about today). His screen name is "I LOVE RACHEL", but that's not even the heart wrenching part. His photo for his profile is of him kissing her... on Januray 9th of this year. What an asshole.
Turns out that there are alot of messages that they wrote back and forth to each other right at the time he broke up with me. Actually, before I even found out that we were over. How fucking fantastic. He cheated on me. Caleb cheated on me. He was seeing her while he was seeing me.
Obviously I cried for a long time. That was worse than finding out that he was breaking up with me. That was worse than him not contacting me. That was worse than standing in fire. He promise me the world and all of it was a lie. He said he loved me then spit in my face.
To make things worse (as if they could be) I got to see all of these pictures that they took of each other and together throughout December(last year) and January (this year). God, this is bullshit.
I don't want to think about it anymore, though. As far as I'm concerned, he's dead. I'll never talk to him again. I sent him a message on MySpace that said what I wanted to say and now I'm through. I did have a "secret plan" for revenge, but I'm so sick of these people that I just want to forget them. I hate him. I honestly hate Caleb. I don't think I love him anymore. He's lost all of his friends and someone that would've done anything for him and for what? Nothing. A stupid fucking whore that he'll grow tired of when she starts putting out her cigarette butts on his arms again. Or when she spits in his face again. or when she claws him. Or when she claims he raped her. He'll grow tired of her bullshit, but then he won't have anyone but her to run to. He has no one else.
I was going to write somemore about Pedro. How he makes me feel good and beautiful and right, but I can't because I just want to go to bed before I lose my control again. I'm trying to continue on with recovery, although it feels like a lost cause. I won't let something else beat me.