Trusting, Hurting, and Hoping
The past week I have done the unimaginable. I told my doctor about my eating disorder. She seemed almost surprised, but also sympethetic and understanding. I made sure that there was no way my parents could find out about any of what I told her before I said a word. I had to rewrite some consent papers and now, even if I wanted her to, my docotr couln't tell them anything. She gave me a perscription for Prozac daily and changed my birth control to something that won't make my cheeks flush with red spots. She also recommended counselling (therapy) and I agreed. And before I left to go back to the car with my mother, I had blood work done.
I've also confided in a girl named Holly that goes to Mary Ann's church. Its so wonderful to have a friend again. I was skeptical about telling her, but in the end I was thrilled because she seems to at least partly understand and she won't judge me. She's so much like me in ways and I'm trying to look out for her now because she seems to be slipping. Holly said that she is most likely manic depressive which (without trying to sound excited that something is wrong with her) made me feel more comfortable talking with her. We talked for hours and hours, but she hasn't been able to call me in about a day or so which is fine because I've been busy.
I've also confided in Mary Ann, which I thought at first was a mistake. I didn't think she'd understand, or would start backing away from me because I was wierd, or would even tell her brother Chris to stay away from me because I was mental. But I talked to her just yesterday and I found out something that I never suspected: she had the beginning stages of an eating disorder. I was shocked, but I started to feel more comfortable with her too. She started exercising alot, drinking way too much water, limiting food intake... all of the starting stages of an ED. She thought she was just being healthier, but her mom interviened. Mary Ann can see where I'm coming from, at least, and as far as I know neither Holly nor Mary Ann judge me. I'm so relieved. We're (the three of us) are planning a little movie-girl's night type thing. I'm excited for that.
Last night I went to my aunt and uncle's house. They got a new trampoline for my eight year old cousin Patrick's christmas present. Adam and I wrestled and I ended up getting a headache, but I also reaped revenge. I put Adam in a choke hole that he couldn't get out of. lol
In March 2005, I went to my aunt and uncle's house for dinner one time and that where I met Pedro. His real name is Matthew, but because he's half Mexican, everyone teases him and calls him Pedro. My first thought when I saw him was how good he looked, but was probably in his mid twenties or something, as most of my uncle's friends are, and was off limits. I found out that he's eighteen. Yay! From that night on, he told my aunt that he liked me, I was pretty, ect. Well, I wanted to date him, but a series of events happened (that I won't go into)and I hadn't talked to him until yesterday afternoon.
I looked on my phone and saw that Tabitha (aunt) had called me, so i called her back. She said: "Hold on, someone wants to talk to you." So I said okay and some guy comes on the phone: "Who is this?" I asked "Pedro." And my heart jumped i was so happy, but my mom called for me and I told him I would call back in five minutes. Well, when I called back Tabitha said he had to leave, but would come over to see me. Long story short, my brother and I went to my aunt and uncle's, but had to leave early because my mom is upset about something. So I never got to see him. But Tabitha called him from my phone so I have his number now! lol
Oh, yeah, mom is pisse doff about something and no one knows what it is and I have to go because she's about to walk in. Yikes... I'll update later when I find out what's wrong.
I've also confided in a girl named Holly that goes to Mary Ann's church. Its so wonderful to have a friend again. I was skeptical about telling her, but in the end I was thrilled because she seems to at least partly understand and she won't judge me. She's so much like me in ways and I'm trying to look out for her now because she seems to be slipping. Holly said that she is most likely manic depressive which (without trying to sound excited that something is wrong with her) made me feel more comfortable talking with her. We talked for hours and hours, but she hasn't been able to call me in about a day or so which is fine because I've been busy.
I've also confided in Mary Ann, which I thought at first was a mistake. I didn't think she'd understand, or would start backing away from me because I was wierd, or would even tell her brother Chris to stay away from me because I was mental. But I talked to her just yesterday and I found out something that I never suspected: she had the beginning stages of an eating disorder. I was shocked, but I started to feel more comfortable with her too. She started exercising alot, drinking way too much water, limiting food intake... all of the starting stages of an ED. She thought she was just being healthier, but her mom interviened. Mary Ann can see where I'm coming from, at least, and as far as I know neither Holly nor Mary Ann judge me. I'm so relieved. We're (the three of us) are planning a little movie-girl's night type thing. I'm excited for that.
Last night I went to my aunt and uncle's house. They got a new trampoline for my eight year old cousin Patrick's christmas present. Adam and I wrestled and I ended up getting a headache, but I also reaped revenge. I put Adam in a choke hole that he couldn't get out of. lol
In March 2005, I went to my aunt and uncle's house for dinner one time and that where I met Pedro. His real name is Matthew, but because he's half Mexican, everyone teases him and calls him Pedro. My first thought when I saw him was how good he looked, but was probably in his mid twenties or something, as most of my uncle's friends are, and was off limits. I found out that he's eighteen. Yay! From that night on, he told my aunt that he liked me, I was pretty, ect. Well, I wanted to date him, but a series of events happened (that I won't go into)and I hadn't talked to him until yesterday afternoon.
I looked on my phone and saw that Tabitha (aunt) had called me, so i called her back. She said: "Hold on, someone wants to talk to you." So I said okay and some guy comes on the phone: "Who is this?" I asked "Pedro." And my heart jumped i was so happy, but my mom called for me and I told him I would call back in five minutes. Well, when I called back Tabitha said he had to leave, but would come over to see me. Long story short, my brother and I went to my aunt and uncle's, but had to leave early because my mom is upset about something. So I never got to see him. But Tabitha called him from my phone so I have his number now! lol
Oh, yeah, mom is pisse doff about something and no one knows what it is and I have to go because she's about to walk in. Yikes... I'll update later when I find out what's wrong.