Graduation
So, graduation was last Thursday. I had been looking forward to it for a while, both with excitement and trepidation. I was looking forward to seeing a few of my favorite students again, but I knew it would be very sad. It wound up being a bit different from my expectations, and was a very interesting experience overall...and a bit of an eye-opener.
The ceremony started at 10 AM, and all the teachers had to be in the gym by 9:40. By the time I got there, the gym was already full of parents and family members, as well as the second year students (first year students do not attend). The family members were all seated according to the class that their child was in, in the middle of the auditorium. The graduating students sit in front of everyone, facing the stage. Remembering my high school graduation I was preparing myself for a multiple-hour affair, but this was actually pretty short...just over an hour or so. The reason it was so much shorter is also the biggest difference between my graduation and this one: here, the students do not go up to the stage individually and receive their diplomas. Rather, each class president goes up and accepts them all on behalf of their class, and the diplomas are distributed to the students afterwards in homeroom. The majority of the time was taken up by speeches: from the principal, vice principal, PTA head, representative from the graduating class, and a representative from the second year class.
To go off on a tangent for a moment, this brings up an interesting cultural difference between Japan and America. What I'm referring to is the Japanese concept of sempai and kouhai, a concept present in schools and companies, but especially strong in the former. My students frequently ask me how to say those words in English, and I have to tell them that there isn't a really good way to translate it...we just don't have that concept. Essentially it's a junior/senior relationship. When a new class enters a school (we'll stick with high school for this example), they are looked after by the class above them. So my first year students were and are being looked after by my second year students, and the second year students were likewise looked after by the graduating students. In this relationship, those being looked after are the kouhai, and those doing the looking after are the sempai. Usually the relationships are very personal, with one kouhai having one sempai, or sometimes just a few. These roles are not assigned; they develop naturally as the students interact with each other. Students on sports teams or in clubs will usually develop a kouhai/sempai bond with the students in that team or club, and so on.
So, the reason that the second year students attend the graduation but not the first years, is because they are there to honor the sacrifices made and help given to them over the years by the graduating students. The speech from the second year representative was long those lines...collectively thanking the sempai for everything they did for them, and wishing them well in the future.
The ceremony up to this point was going swimmingly, but then they dropped the emotional bomb on everyone. The graduating students all stood up and turned to face the family members, kouhai, and teachers. Some sad music began to play, and 8 or so girls from the class stepped forward to a mic and started to give brief speeches. They were thanking the teachers for all their hard work over the years, thanking their family for all their support, and primarily recounting what a wonderful experience their years at Kannon were. When these girls started speaking, it was as if someone flicked a switch in the auditorium. Almost all the students started crying, as well as most of the parents and kouhai. The girls who were speaking had an extremely hard time getting through their speeches, because they were simply falling apart. I wasn't really close to any of the girls giving speeches except one, but despite that I felt devastated. It was just so painfully sad seeing all those wonderful students falling apart like that...I started to get a little misty, and came close to losing it.
At the end, after their thank you, the classes left the auditorium one at a time. All the teachers including myself gathered around the door and applauded them on their way out. Most were crying, and some couldn't even show their face, they were such a mess.
And that was it. The students went with their families to a final homeroom where they received their diplomas, gave a fond farewell to their homeroom teachers and classmates (who they'd been with since entering high school), and then were free to go home at their leisure. It's traditional for the students to make the rounds and see all the teachers who meant the most to them, take photos, get signatures in their yearbooks, and most of all say thanks. I was looking forward to this part the most, to be able to see my favorite students one last time, get some photos, give out my email address and make sure they stay in touch. So, I went to my office to wait...the teachers all told me it was better to do that than wander around looking for them, because you might wind up missing some. Despite the fact that I was only with these students for about 5 months before they left, I had gotten very close to some of them, and had a dozen or so that I figured would definitely show up...plus a few that I thought might show up too. I waited in my office all afternoon, but in the end only four girls ever showed up. And of those four, two were ones that I hadn't anticipated at all, which means the majority of the students I was fully expecting to see never showed up.
And I can't lie, that depressed the hell out of me. I waited around until 5, an hour past my usual quitting time, and a full six hours after the ceremony had ended. At that point, one of my JTEs came to me with a look of pity and said "I don't know if you're still waiting around for any students, but I'm pretty sure they've all gone home by now." I felt like such an ass...all at once it dawned on me. What the hell was I doing? I was only with these kids for 5 months...of course their family, friends, and other teachers are going to take priority over me. It was ridiculous of me to think that every student I ever shared a smile with was going to come running back to say goodbye. I allowed myself to get so close to the students in such a short amount of time, but they weren't getting that close to me at all.
So my depression over all my favorite students forgetting about me quickly turned into a moment of clarity. It was disappointing not seeing some of them again, but they've all moved on now, and in the end I don't have a terrible feeling of emptiness inside like I thought I would. They were fun and I'll never forget them, and that's all that matters. Some of my teachers tell me that some of the graduating students will likely be back again this month, especially the ones on sports teams, so I may have the chance to see some of them after all. But, it's really not a big deal anymore.
I'm just very happy that those four girls who did show up, did. The first one was Kasumi, the highly skilled artist who I've mentioned before and whose work is in a few pics I uploaded last time. I knew she'd stop by because she promised to, and she said she'd draw me something too. What she gave to me is a strange little painting/drawing/collage mixture, of the kind she told me she's been heavily into producing lately. It's bizarre (like she is), and I can't say it's my favorite of her works from an objective standpoint, but I love it and will cherish it because she made it specially for me. It means a lot to me, and she does too. After she gave me the drawing we took a picture together, and on her way out of the door I said goodbye and told her I'd miss her (I will!). Her eyes instantly welled up as she told me in a quivering voice that she'd miss me too, and I don't have to tell you how moving that was...I had to sit down for a minute.
The other three were from my favorite writing class: Nanako, the girl who taught me to dance at the sports day back in September, and was one of the first ones to go out of her way to get to know me and make me feel at home; Ai, a very cute girl who had never really spoken to me until a couple weeks ago when she was back at school, and was shocked to find I remembered her name; and Aki, a girl that I liked from the start because I thought she had the greatest face, but who was really shy and never said a single word to me until she asked if she could email me in Japanese, after I gave her my contact info on Thursday.
So, that's about it for the graduating class of 2007. Again...I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to see some of my favorite kids again, but what can you do. One thing is for sure though: next year is going to be brutal. I'm much closer to many more of the second year students than I was to the third years, so it's going to be pretty damn rough when they all leave next year. But that's a year away, which means I have a year's worth of experiences to enjoy between now and then.
The day was followed up with a drinking party for all the teachers and faculty, held at the fancy-pants ANA hotel downtown. That went by the numbers, though there were some nice speeches from each of the third year homeroom teachers. I managed to snag a seat next to the really cute home ec teacher and accomplished NOTHING on that front, but I'll give it another go sometime soon.
I don't really have any good photos from the ceremony itself because of where I was sitting, and also because there weren't really any great photo ops. I have the pictures I took with individual students, but I kinda don't feel like uploading them. If you'd like to see any of them though, I'd be happy to send them to you.
The ceremony started at 10 AM, and all the teachers had to be in the gym by 9:40. By the time I got there, the gym was already full of parents and family members, as well as the second year students (first year students do not attend). The family members were all seated according to the class that their child was in, in the middle of the auditorium. The graduating students sit in front of everyone, facing the stage. Remembering my high school graduation I was preparing myself for a multiple-hour affair, but this was actually pretty short...just over an hour or so. The reason it was so much shorter is also the biggest difference between my graduation and this one: here, the students do not go up to the stage individually and receive their diplomas. Rather, each class president goes up and accepts them all on behalf of their class, and the diplomas are distributed to the students afterwards in homeroom. The majority of the time was taken up by speeches: from the principal, vice principal, PTA head, representative from the graduating class, and a representative from the second year class.
To go off on a tangent for a moment, this brings up an interesting cultural difference between Japan and America. What I'm referring to is the Japanese concept of sempai and kouhai, a concept present in schools and companies, but especially strong in the former. My students frequently ask me how to say those words in English, and I have to tell them that there isn't a really good way to translate it...we just don't have that concept. Essentially it's a junior/senior relationship. When a new class enters a school (we'll stick with high school for this example), they are looked after by the class above them. So my first year students were and are being looked after by my second year students, and the second year students were likewise looked after by the graduating students. In this relationship, those being looked after are the kouhai, and those doing the looking after are the sempai. Usually the relationships are very personal, with one kouhai having one sempai, or sometimes just a few. These roles are not assigned; they develop naturally as the students interact with each other. Students on sports teams or in clubs will usually develop a kouhai/sempai bond with the students in that team or club, and so on.
So, the reason that the second year students attend the graduation but not the first years, is because they are there to honor the sacrifices made and help given to them over the years by the graduating students. The speech from the second year representative was long those lines...collectively thanking the sempai for everything they did for them, and wishing them well in the future.
The ceremony up to this point was going swimmingly, but then they dropped the emotional bomb on everyone. The graduating students all stood up and turned to face the family members, kouhai, and teachers. Some sad music began to play, and 8 or so girls from the class stepped forward to a mic and started to give brief speeches. They were thanking the teachers for all their hard work over the years, thanking their family for all their support, and primarily recounting what a wonderful experience their years at Kannon were. When these girls started speaking, it was as if someone flicked a switch in the auditorium. Almost all the students started crying, as well as most of the parents and kouhai. The girls who were speaking had an extremely hard time getting through their speeches, because they were simply falling apart. I wasn't really close to any of the girls giving speeches except one, but despite that I felt devastated. It was just so painfully sad seeing all those wonderful students falling apart like that...I started to get a little misty, and came close to losing it.
At the end, after their thank you, the classes left the auditorium one at a time. All the teachers including myself gathered around the door and applauded them on their way out. Most were crying, and some couldn't even show their face, they were such a mess.
And that was it. The students went with their families to a final homeroom where they received their diplomas, gave a fond farewell to their homeroom teachers and classmates (who they'd been with since entering high school), and then were free to go home at their leisure. It's traditional for the students to make the rounds and see all the teachers who meant the most to them, take photos, get signatures in their yearbooks, and most of all say thanks. I was looking forward to this part the most, to be able to see my favorite students one last time, get some photos, give out my email address and make sure they stay in touch. So, I went to my office to wait...the teachers all told me it was better to do that than wander around looking for them, because you might wind up missing some. Despite the fact that I was only with these students for about 5 months before they left, I had gotten very close to some of them, and had a dozen or so that I figured would definitely show up...plus a few that I thought might show up too. I waited in my office all afternoon, but in the end only four girls ever showed up. And of those four, two were ones that I hadn't anticipated at all, which means the majority of the students I was fully expecting to see never showed up.
And I can't lie, that depressed the hell out of me. I waited around until 5, an hour past my usual quitting time, and a full six hours after the ceremony had ended. At that point, one of my JTEs came to me with a look of pity and said "I don't know if you're still waiting around for any students, but I'm pretty sure they've all gone home by now." I felt like such an ass...all at once it dawned on me. What the hell was I doing? I was only with these kids for 5 months...of course their family, friends, and other teachers are going to take priority over me. It was ridiculous of me to think that every student I ever shared a smile with was going to come running back to say goodbye. I allowed myself to get so close to the students in such a short amount of time, but they weren't getting that close to me at all.
So my depression over all my favorite students forgetting about me quickly turned into a moment of clarity. It was disappointing not seeing some of them again, but they've all moved on now, and in the end I don't have a terrible feeling of emptiness inside like I thought I would. They were fun and I'll never forget them, and that's all that matters. Some of my teachers tell me that some of the graduating students will likely be back again this month, especially the ones on sports teams, so I may have the chance to see some of them after all. But, it's really not a big deal anymore.
I'm just very happy that those four girls who did show up, did. The first one was Kasumi, the highly skilled artist who I've mentioned before and whose work is in a few pics I uploaded last time. I knew she'd stop by because she promised to, and she said she'd draw me something too. What she gave to me is a strange little painting/drawing/collage mixture, of the kind she told me she's been heavily into producing lately. It's bizarre (like she is), and I can't say it's my favorite of her works from an objective standpoint, but I love it and will cherish it because she made it specially for me. It means a lot to me, and she does too. After she gave me the drawing we took a picture together, and on her way out of the door I said goodbye and told her I'd miss her (I will!). Her eyes instantly welled up as she told me in a quivering voice that she'd miss me too, and I don't have to tell you how moving that was...I had to sit down for a minute.
The other three were from my favorite writing class: Nanako, the girl who taught me to dance at the sports day back in September, and was one of the first ones to go out of her way to get to know me and make me feel at home; Ai, a very cute girl who had never really spoken to me until a couple weeks ago when she was back at school, and was shocked to find I remembered her name; and Aki, a girl that I liked from the start because I thought she had the greatest face, but who was really shy and never said a single word to me until she asked if she could email me in Japanese, after I gave her my contact info on Thursday.
So, that's about it for the graduating class of 2007. Again...I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to see some of my favorite kids again, but what can you do. One thing is for sure though: next year is going to be brutal. I'm much closer to many more of the second year students than I was to the third years, so it's going to be pretty damn rough when they all leave next year. But that's a year away, which means I have a year's worth of experiences to enjoy between now and then.
The day was followed up with a drinking party for all the teachers and faculty, held at the fancy-pants ANA hotel downtown. That went by the numbers, though there were some nice speeches from each of the third year homeroom teachers. I managed to snag a seat next to the really cute home ec teacher and accomplished NOTHING on that front, but I'll give it another go sometime soon.
I don't really have any good photos from the ceremony itself because of where I was sitting, and also because there weren't really any great photo ops. I have the pictures I took with individual students, but I kinda don't feel like uploading them. If you'd like to see any of them though, I'd be happy to send them to you.