An imaginary conversation with my Monster.com job posting alert service
Me: Monster.com, please send me email alerts whenever you get a posting matching the terms, "editorial assistant nyc".
Monster.com: Sure, sweetie! *smooches*
Me: *smooches*
[One week later]
Monster.com: Administrative Assistant Opening at NYC Marketing Firm!
Me: Hm ... sort of interesting, but no thanks.
[One week later:]
Monster.com: Legal Assistant Position--
Me: I don't want legal jobs. I did legal jobs. Lawyers are evil. Don't you have anything related to what I actually want?
Monster.com: Teach English in Korea!
Me: What?
Monster.com: Become a Legal Specialist for the US Navy!
Me: Are you even listening to me?
Monster.com: Assistant Researcher, Mount Sinai Medical Center!
Me: What the fuck ... what exactly on my resume says that I would even--
Monster.com: McDonald's Assistant Restaurant Manager!
Me: I'm not even talking to you anymore.
Monster.com: Sure, sweetie! *smooches*
Me: *smooches*
[One week later]
Monster.com: Administrative Assistant Opening at NYC Marketing Firm!
Me: Hm ... sort of interesting, but no thanks.
[One week later:]
Monster.com: Legal Assistant Position--
Me: I don't want legal jobs. I did legal jobs. Lawyers are evil. Don't you have anything related to what I actually want?
Monster.com: Teach English in Korea!
Me: What?
Monster.com: Become a Legal Specialist for the US Navy!
Me: Are you even listening to me?
Monster.com: Assistant Researcher, Mount Sinai Medical Center!
Me: What the fuck ... what exactly on my resume says that I would even--
Monster.com: McDonald's Assistant Restaurant Manager!
Me: I'm not even talking to you anymore.