When the words run out.
I'm tired. Tired of putting up a happy face. Tired of playing the good girl. Tired of following orders and trying to please those I live with. I'm bored. Bored of interacting with the same people. Bored of following the same routine. Bored of recieving the same results regardless of the effort put in. And finally I'm sick. Sick of being so pessimistic. Sick of sleeping so much. Sick of doing nothing but complaining about my problems in life.
Yesterday night, I recieved a lecture from my aunt and uncle. He asked me what my definition for happiness was. I sat and thought..and realized that all I need in life is to do my best in life, and to, in a sense, assist those I care about and help put a smile on their face. And then and there I realized how much I'd failed at my job. Maybe that's why I've been so unhappy with myself lately...I realized that I'd lost the purpose in my life...moving around as if I were some lifeless zombie.
The point is, I started slacking off and being lazy. My school work level went down, my room became a pig sty, I forgot to do chores, I didn't practice violin...yea sure...they may seem like small things..but it's those small things in life that show you the bigger picture. These small habits that I was neglecting showed my dying interest in my life....Point is, I'm tired of complaining about being tired....hah...ironic huh?
It's easy to come home everday, expecting nothing out of yourself. Locking yourself in your room, quickly finishing your homework then taking a three hour nap. But it's hard to come home, wash the dishes, clean the house, finish your homework (and double check it), practice violin and then proceed to doing something productive like exercising. I don't want to take the easy way out. What will that get me in life?
In order to help those around me, I have to first fix what's wrong with me. If I don't get my mood up, then all Im going to do is leave a bad impression on those I care about while bringing in a negative atmosphere. That is not the impression I want to give off to those in my life.
My happiness comes from giving others happiness. But if I myself, am not satisfied with life, how can I expect myself to influence the attitudes of others?
Humans cannot help but be hypocrites, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try our best not to be.
Yesterday night, I recieved a lecture from my aunt and uncle. He asked me what my definition for happiness was. I sat and thought..and realized that all I need in life is to do my best in life, and to, in a sense, assist those I care about and help put a smile on their face. And then and there I realized how much I'd failed at my job. Maybe that's why I've been so unhappy with myself lately...I realized that I'd lost the purpose in my life...moving around as if I were some lifeless zombie.
The point is, I started slacking off and being lazy. My school work level went down, my room became a pig sty, I forgot to do chores, I didn't practice violin...yea sure...they may seem like small things..but it's those small things in life that show you the bigger picture. These small habits that I was neglecting showed my dying interest in my life....Point is, I'm tired of complaining about being tired....hah...ironic huh?
It's easy to come home everday, expecting nothing out of yourself. Locking yourself in your room, quickly finishing your homework then taking a three hour nap. But it's hard to come home, wash the dishes, clean the house, finish your homework (and double check it), practice violin and then proceed to doing something productive like exercising. I don't want to take the easy way out. What will that get me in life?
In order to help those around me, I have to first fix what's wrong with me. If I don't get my mood up, then all Im going to do is leave a bad impression on those I care about while bringing in a negative atmosphere. That is not the impression I want to give off to those in my life.
My happiness comes from giving others happiness. But if I myself, am not satisfied with life, how can I expect myself to influence the attitudes of others?
Humans cannot help but be hypocrites, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try our best not to be.