Someone who makes as many mistakes as you should question corrections
That's what I would like to say but you know.... >_> I'm not in that lovely position to say things like that. There exists people are slovenly incompetent and all they will ever be are disgusting wastes of space.
I'm not saying I haven't been a lame duck, in fact yesterday I had a realization. If I had just retaken a few hateful General Ed. classes my GPA would not be the passively lame, 3.2, but a at least somewhere in the 3.5 or above. What the hell was wrong with me. The only Cs I had gotten were from General Ed classes. I could go into why I was a waste of space, but I don't really want to rehash.
What gets me are my sneaky spineless coworkers. One in particular who is perfectly worthless, two-faced, and apparently full of shit. -_- Phew got that off my chest.
Moving on then. Alice in Wonderland. I don't know how I feel about that movie. I suppose the best way to put it, is that it's a tribute to Lewis Carroll's work. (which I haven't read) So for me it was fun, but not that great. What I really did not like at all, is that Depp's Hatter is the main focus of Alice's attentions and everyone is goofy and cartoony. The Hatter is the most human out of everyone in Wonderland. That was obnoxious. Other than that, the ending wasn't really that great either. Maybe because those foil stories have become really big cliches and I'm tired of that cliche. Well the ending was also highly over the top. It just didn't do it for me.
I'm enjoying Tobias Wolff's Old School. It's just like being back in Stoneback's class. Tobias Wolff, btw is coming to New Paltz to speak, so I decided the smart thing would be to read his work in advance so that I can understand what all the fuss is about. Wolff's writing style is clear and undramatic, but that could be because Old School is about a young writer who wins a chance to meet his idol, Ernest Hemingway. It's written like a memoir. So not at all surprising.
I really want to go back to school, everyday, I get little tugs. The little tugs say, you enjoy the hell out of this research business. You enjoy living in your head at the library, not helping people. The best days I have are following Mark to SUNY Orange and being in the library. But despite that I want to see this job through, because maybe I should be in this job. Because of all of the fabulous benefits and eventually freedom when the smoke clears. And I should also note.... that if I play my cards right in the next year or so I could be very close to being debt free.
And I still question the point of going to school to do things, that I can on my own. Obviously schools have opportunities, like for example getting to hear famous authors talk and hearing great professors speak, attend conferences and network. Scholarships and campus reviews. Of course access to fabulous libraries. (Our library is moderately fabulous, but still)
If I keep working here, in the OK academic environment I get some of those things for free or very cheap. Then again, if our school becomes the tacky crapshoot I think it will in the near future I can always pack my bags and go back to grad school. So there's no rush of course, except that life is never a real guarantee. I may die, become crippled, infirmed, and or lose everything. When I was in college I was always mortally afraid of gambling anything, and so I never really tried. I just failed. Again and again. I tried taking the route of least conflict.
When I reread this, I think well isn't it a cop out to stay here then? Shouldn't you just leave now? The problem with that idea is that the things that I want aren't simply limited to my dream job, but there are my emotional attachments and the sort of life I want to lead. If I left right now I'd have to work a fulltime job anyway to make my monthly payments in a not very secure economy. I don't want halfsies. I want full-time student. I want research and immersion. That's my dream. So I refuse to compromise that. I can take a gamble on waiting, but I won't compromise my possible academic career by making anymore stupid logistic mistakes. I'd rather not ever make it to grad school then to go there and be another half-assed wannabe loser.
I'm not saying I haven't been a lame duck, in fact yesterday I had a realization. If I had just retaken a few hateful General Ed. classes my GPA would not be the passively lame, 3.2, but a at least somewhere in the 3.5 or above. What the hell was wrong with me. The only Cs I had gotten were from General Ed classes. I could go into why I was a waste of space, but I don't really want to rehash.
What gets me are my sneaky spineless coworkers. One in particular who is perfectly worthless, two-faced, and apparently full of shit. -_- Phew got that off my chest.
Moving on then. Alice in Wonderland. I don't know how I feel about that movie. I suppose the best way to put it, is that it's a tribute to Lewis Carroll's work. (which I haven't read) So for me it was fun, but not that great. What I really did not like at all, is that Depp's Hatter is the main focus of Alice's attentions and everyone is goofy and cartoony. The Hatter is the most human out of everyone in Wonderland. That was obnoxious. Other than that, the ending wasn't really that great either. Maybe because those foil stories have become really big cliches and I'm tired of that cliche. Well the ending was also highly over the top. It just didn't do it for me.
I'm enjoying Tobias Wolff's Old School. It's just like being back in Stoneback's class. Tobias Wolff, btw is coming to New Paltz to speak, so I decided the smart thing would be to read his work in advance so that I can understand what all the fuss is about. Wolff's writing style is clear and undramatic, but that could be because Old School is about a young writer who wins a chance to meet his idol, Ernest Hemingway. It's written like a memoir. So not at all surprising.
I really want to go back to school, everyday, I get little tugs. The little tugs say, you enjoy the hell out of this research business. You enjoy living in your head at the library, not helping people. The best days I have are following Mark to SUNY Orange and being in the library. But despite that I want to see this job through, because maybe I should be in this job. Because of all of the fabulous benefits and eventually freedom when the smoke clears. And I should also note.... that if I play my cards right in the next year or so I could be very close to being debt free.
And I still question the point of going to school to do things, that I can on my own. Obviously schools have opportunities, like for example getting to hear famous authors talk and hearing great professors speak, attend conferences and network. Scholarships and campus reviews. Of course access to fabulous libraries. (Our library is moderately fabulous, but still)
If I keep working here, in the OK academic environment I get some of those things for free or very cheap. Then again, if our school becomes the tacky crapshoot I think it will in the near future I can always pack my bags and go back to grad school. So there's no rush of course, except that life is never a real guarantee. I may die, become crippled, infirmed, and or lose everything. When I was in college I was always mortally afraid of gambling anything, and so I never really tried. I just failed. Again and again. I tried taking the route of least conflict.
When I reread this, I think well isn't it a cop out to stay here then? Shouldn't you just leave now? The problem with that idea is that the things that I want aren't simply limited to my dream job, but there are my emotional attachments and the sort of life I want to lead. If I left right now I'd have to work a fulltime job anyway to make my monthly payments in a not very secure economy. I don't want halfsies. I want full-time student. I want research and immersion. That's my dream. So I refuse to compromise that. I can take a gamble on waiting, but I won't compromise my possible academic career by making anymore stupid logistic mistakes. I'd rather not ever make it to grad school then to go there and be another half-assed wannabe loser.