No one expects the adorableness inquisition!

Oct 30, 2010 13:23

ALRIGHT, FRIENDSLIST! IT IS TIME TO FESS UP. WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS FOR ME?



Okay, I know it wasn't directly for me, I found it when trawling tumblr for gifs (SO MANY HOMG! I now think I have a Liz Lemon gif to apply to every situation, which is totally necessary as Liz Lemon is my personal hero/rolemodel in life) and I found this. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON. It's like whoever made this has been GChatting with me, because I've had a long-held belief that nothing cannot be made more adorable with a monocle. (This is actually a philosophical pillar of my world view, I am not even lying.) Before Tess died it was my LIFE GOAL to figure out how to get her to wear a monocle. I now extend this hope to any future gerbils I have. One day, I will get a gerbil to wear a monocle, and I will take a picture, and that picture will cause world peace.

Speaking of gerbils, I've been trying to put my feelers out for available litters. I miss Tess horribly, but more than Tess I miss having a gerbil. I miss the tiny paws and the little faces and the squeaks and the sound of chomping on cardboard. I'm pretty sure I could be emotionally ready for a new pair in a week or two, but I'd ideally like to get a new pair around the holidays, at the latest. I asked the breeder I've used before and who I would call with any questions, but while she has foster gerbils I can adopt, she doesn't have any pups or baby gerbils on the way. I'm really against the idea of me, personally, adopting already full-grown gerbils. I get so very attached and I need them to be around as long as possible, because it's too damn traumatic otherwise. And apparently, her breeding pairs are just not feeling the romantic jive lately, because she says they're perfectly happy and healthy, just not getting down. She recommended me to two other breeders in the area, and put a special note that one had just had a litter, but when I e-mailed that breeder she said "she wasn't breeding anymore", whatever that means - I'm guessing she's trying to expand her business and isn't giving away the gerbils so she can breed them, but still, she'd put the litter up on her website, which I just think is totally unfair and mocking, personally. I still have one more breeder to contact, which is a primarily chichilla breeder who I think only fosters gerbils, but I'm afraid to e-mail him and have him tell me no, because then I know for certain instead of just mostly knowing that I'll have to wait a while for new babies.

So I was talking to thisissirius about my dilemma last night at, like, 3:30 AM, because I've been having insomnia. I was telling her about how I'd been considering other rodent-type pets, actually, because gerbils are so short-lived, and I'd briefly looked into chinchillas, but they live on average 15 years. Most live into their twenties. And their care is extremely involved. If I wanted a pet that complicated, I'd get a dog. Plus I'd, like, enjoy dating someone at some point in the next 15-20 years, and it's easier and more socially acceptable to be like "I have a co-dependent relationship with my dog" rather than "I have a co-dependent relationship with a chinchilla". And then Siri was like OMG THIS IS WHAT IS KEEPING COLIN AND BRADLEY APART! COLIN IS AFRAID TO INTRODUCE HIM TO HIS CHINCHILLA!" Which I thought, clearly, could only result in the following exchange:
Colin: (pulls away from kissing, breathing heavily) Bradley, no, stop. I need to... I haven't... I think I should introduce you to Trevor, my chinchilla.
Bradley: Yeah you should.

(Several weeks later)

Colin: And this is Trevor.
Trevor: (chitters)
Bradley: Wait, this wasn't a euphemism?
Trevor: (scrubs face disapprovingly)

So while Siri was contemplating a meet-the-chinchilla scenario, I was pondering on the fact that Colin Morgan, in addition to being a kitten, a baby deer, Jigglypuff, and a host of other things, would also clearly be, were he a rodent, a chinchilla. I mean, look at them:



Chinchillas are extremely intelligent little creatures. They are beyond fussy when it comes to temperature and especially diet. They're nearly extinct out of captivity because they were almost hunted to extinction for their fur, which is extremely prized for how luxurious and soft it is. They're industrious and energetic, friendly, and kind of quirky. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE? Just imagine that little face going EHM, EHM, I THINK I WOULD LIKE SOME KYECK, AND THEN PERHAPS WE CAN EXPLORE SOME KYEVS. EHM. YEAH.

...and this is why, should you ever see me awake and online at four in the morning, make me go to bed.

And now I'm going to go do some dishes, and by "dishes" I mean "carve my pumpkin", and by "carve my pumpkin" I mean "Watch the Rally to Restore Sanity and pretend I'm getting shit done, which I'm not".

i am a future cat lady or nun, liz lemon is my hero, jon stewart is my boyfriend, how are bradley and colin even real, small fuzzy things are my favorite, less than three, colin morgan is made of kittens, ideas that are so dumb they're awesome, i am a dork and here is why

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