A Sense of Purpose (Chapter 12)
Series title: A Sense of Purpose
Title: Chapter 12: Demoralization
Fandom: Kung Fu Panda
Rating: PG - PG-13
Word count: 4354
As a child, Tai Lung had once thrown a pebble at one of the servant ducks. He had been very young, he hadn't really known what he had been doing, and he had been rightfully punished for it by Master Shifu. But while he had learned his lesson, he had never actually experienced how much it could hurt to have someone throw rocks at him - nobody had been stupid enough to try.
At least until this morning.
The rock felt about as large as his fist, and it had been thrown with force against his arm. Tai Lung woke up with a loud snarl, claws and teeth bared, ready to take on whoever had just signed their death warrant.
"You're awake, what a shame," Tigress commented drily from her position at the cave entrance. She lazily tossed a second rock over her shoulder, obviously regretting that she wouldn't get to throw that one at him, too.
Tai Lung took a moment to look at the rock that had hit him - it was a lot smaller than he had assumed, but somebody obviously didn't know her own throwing strength. "You," He hissed and slowly made his way over to her. Much to her credit, Tigress didn't move an inch despite just having induced murderous rage in an opponent who was nearly at her teacher's skill level. Still, I can kinda see why she would want to keep her distance when waking me up. I mean, would I just sneak up to my sleeping self after all that had happened? ...then again, there are other ways. Such as clearing your throat. Or making some other noise. "So you think you can mess with me as you please the moment Master Shifu says he'll teach you something new?"
"We need to talk about that," she told him flatly, looking straight into his eyes.
Calm down, he told himself. Things have been working out okay so far, so don't ruin it all just because she decided to act like a complete loon. He let his claws slide back into their hiding spots. "What is there to talk about?"
"The issue of both me and Master Shifu being gone from the Jade Palace for weeks."
"Pah. As if this will be the first time this has happened."
"The last few times, we've had Master Oogway. And you had been safely locked up far, far away from here."
The urge to let his claws spring free again was almost overwhelming. "What are you implying?" he hissed.
Tigress immediately opened her mouth to reply, but then froze. After a few seconds, she straightened her back and took a deep breath, obviously fighting her own urge to escalate the situation. "I didn't come here to imply anything." She sighed. "Listen. Crane's wing is still not fully healed. Po is excellent at improvising and a fast learner, but he still has lots of training to do before he can stop relying on luck and intuition. That leaves Viper, Mantis and Monkey. They're very good, but there's a reason why Master Shifu trained the five of us as a group."
"You're talking as if you're expecting an invasion," Tai Lung told her and cocked his head.
"I'm not, but in a few hours, the Jade Palace will be more vulnerable than ever before."
Ignoring that time all of us left the palace and ran into the old fangface... but this isn't the time to make good points. "So you're asking me to protect it?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No. I'm asking you to not behave like a complete idiot who will throw away his one chance at redemption the moment he sees a chance to finish what he couldn't do months ago." She gave him an uncharacteristic smirk. "Because then I know you will protect it."
I could probably break her leg in a way that will only become noticeable hours from now, Tai Lung mused, but he knew it was just his brain humoring him in order to prevent him from actually doing anything like that. "It's almost funny how you practically try to get yourself killed just to make sure that I keep doing what I've been doing the past few weeks," he finally sneered.
"Oh, please. You're not going to hurt me." Tigress was practically bouncing in place while still maintaining her cool and calm pose with her hands behind her back. "After all, if you harm me now, you will have ruined Master Shifu's elaborate plan. And ohhhhhhh, he wouldn't like that..."
"Well, it's nice that you finally admit that your best shot at triumphing over me is to hide behind our Master," the snow leopard purred softly. It was a low blow and a cheap shot, but in his mind, seeing her happy and calm expression crumble was worth it. Besides, it might make her snap out of whatever insanity infected her mind...
Her face briefly went from happiness to surprise, then to rage, and finally to a carefully composed neutral expression. "Don't think that you can bait me into giving you the beating you deserve," she stated. "After all, Master Shifu only offered to train me because he felt confident that I wouldn't strangle you in your sleep instead of waking you up with a pebble." She let that one sink in for a moment and smiled sweetly. "So. Shall we head up and pretend we aren't both itching for a confrontation?"
Wait, I'm not itching for a fight! Well, except for all those times when our bickering threatens to escalate... but deep down, I don't want a fight. After all, I'm not the one who wants revenge for a lost fight that happened months ago. "You're really banking on Master Shifu teaching you some miraculous technique to beat me, aren't you?" he simply muttered and motioned her to lead the way out of the cave.
"Don't be absurd." Her sweet smile turned into a cruel smirk, and Tai Lung could practically feel the temperature drop. "I'm not hoping for some sort of miracle. I won't need it. All I need is for Master Shifu to give me an edge. Some training, some meditation." She put on her cool and detached expression again. "I've unfortunately been... off-balance ever since this entire mess with your break-out, but that will change. No more of this emotional, desperate fighting."
Tai Lung walked past her and out of the cave. "You're adorable when you're bluffing," he said when he was right next to her.
For a short while, he was walking in silence along the hidden path leading to the stairs. Finally, Tigress spoke up again. "I will defeat you, Tai Lung."
Tai Lung smirked and turned around, having prepared a witty reply long seconds ago. "You-" He froze when he realized that Tigress was gone without a trace. "Heh, not too bad," he admitted and chuckled. But the amused expression quickly gave way to a mild frown as he considered what she had said. How likely is it that I've only seen a distracted, frantic, desperate version of Tigress so far? He cocked his head and mulled it over. And how worried should I be if she wasn't bluffing? After carefully looking around, the snow leopard huffed. Not too worried, but I should probably get some more serious training done while she's gone, just in case. A moment later, he had disappeared, too.
He took his time to make sure not even the servants noticed him when he grabbed something to eat. The sound of the morning gong finally told him that it was about time to head to the courtyard.
It took Master Shifu only a few minutes to gather his students in the center of the courtyard. The six fighters were standing in a straight line in front of their Master, with Tigress standing at the far right side. From his hiding place, Tai Lung marveled at how innocent Tigress was looking. You'd never know she made remarks about strangling me in my sleep just a few minutes ago...
"Good morning," Master Shifu began, then paused for effect before continuing, "again."
"Wait, again?" Po asked, making Monkey, Crane, Viper and Mantis coughing nervously.
"Oh, joy, they still haven't told you," the red panda remarked drily and shook his head. "Well, that's good to know." He opened his mouth again, but then stopped himself. "Tai Lung, why don't you join us? This is as much about you as it is about the rest of us."
"Of course, Master Shifu," the snow leopard replied and leaped out of his hiding place, landing neatly next to Viper at the far left side of the line.
Viper gave him a once-over and then just rolled her eyes. "Pity," she whispered, "there goes my bet..."
Bet? Tai Lung asked himself, but decided to keep his mouth shut for the moment. More than enough time to ask her once Master Shifu is gone.
"Well, as most of you know, I have decided to go on a training journey with Tigress," Master Shifu said to bring Po up to speed. The panda gestured this way and back, stammering quietly for a while before finally nodding in awe. When Master Shifu was positive that there would be no outbursts, he continued: "We will probably be gone for a few weeks, which leaves us with a slight... organizational issue." He sighed very deeply. "I don't feel comfortable leaving the Jade Palace for the second time within months without a Grand Master. I really don't."
"Hey, come on now," Po told the red panda, making Tai Lung raise an eyebrow at the chummy tone of the Dragon Warrior. "We got this! Right, guys? I mean, you and Tigress will be gone, sure, but me and those guys? Who's gonna stop us? Just look at 'em! Mantis! Viper! Crane! Monkey! Me! Tai Lu-" He froze in mid-word when he realized the issue in question.
"Yes," Master Shifu stated flatly. "About that."
"Now, wait a second..." Tai Lung started, but Master Shifu's bored look silenced him quickly.
"This is not about your past, Tai Lung," his old teacher informed him. "You are hardly a saint, but I know you have the experience and the ability to stay cool under pressure, so-"
"Oh sweet mercy," Tigress suddenly wheezed, "you're not seriously considering to appoint Tai Lung as acting Grand Master, are you?"
"What, did that catch you... off-balance?" The remark was out before Tai Lung could even consider holding it back.
Instead of answering verbally, Tigress just gave him a glare that made the taller people between them cringe and duck.
"I really wonder if you two are capable of exchanging two sentences without antagonizing each other," Master Shifu muttered and shook his head. "No, Tigress, I'm not appointing Tai Lung as anything. However, I will give everybody clear roles."
Tigress and Tai Lung exchanged quick glances, then both of them shrugged.
When Master Shifu was certain that his two best students wouldn't make any quips, he took a deep breath. "Monkey and Mantis? You two will be responsible for training schedules."
"Oh yeah, now we're talking!" Monkey cheered and held up a finger to offer Mantis their version of a high-five.
"But-...!" Crane bursted out, waving his wings at Monkey and Mantis, then at the entire temple. "You can't-... I mean... do you think this is wise?"
The red panda gave him a knowing look. "Do you have any reason to oppose this choice, Crane?" Ignoring the suddenly alarmed looks Monkey and Mantis gave the bird, he pressed on. "Maybe something these two did the last time I had left you five alone?"
Crane twitched lightly, and even Tigress was looking mildly uncomfortable. It was obvious that something had happened, but apparently, the Furious Five had decided to not bring this up with their Master. "Um... no, Master Shifu, nothing had happened," Crane finally replied lamely.
"Good." Master Shifu clapped his hands. "It doesn't really matter, anyway. After all, I'm making you and Viper responsible for keeping Monkey and Mantis in check. If they slack off or decide to do something stupid, you're officially authorized to correct them."
That was enough to immediately invert the moods of the four fighters in question. Crane and Viper were sporting the widest grins Tai Lung had ever seen while Monkey and Mantis were openly scowling. "Your wisdom is as limitless as the heaven above, Master Shifu," the bird whispered and bowed deeply.
"Po," Master Shifu moved to the next item on his mental list, "you will be responsible for keeping those four in check."
Four pairs of eyes were suddenly focused on the panda, who was coughing nervously. "Uh, Master Shifu, I'm seriously not sure I want to get between those four when things are about to go from bad to worse..."
"Nonsense!" the red panda cheered. "The Dragon Warrior must not only train his muscles, but also his diplomatic abilities!"
"Yeah, but-"
"Anyway! Tai Lung!"
"I can see where this is going," the snow leopard muttered, but didn't raise his voice to object.
"It's your job to make sure that those clowns don't kill each other while I'm gone."
"Heh..." The quiet laugh made everybody turn around. "That's rather ironic, don't you think, Master?" Tigress asked, making no effort to hide her smile. "I mean, asking Tai Lung to prevent misery and death?"
The people standing between him and Tigress immediately moved backwards.
It took every ounce of Tai Lung's strength to not leap past the assembled warriors and break her limbs in stunningly creative ways. "Cute," he hissed instead.
Master Shifu gave them a thin-lipped smile. "I'll have to chain at least one of you up if you keep going like this."
"Chains won't hold me," Tai Lung and Tigress replied in perfect unison and promptly glared at each other for it.
"...you rehearsed this, didn't you?" their Master asked and gave them a puzzled frown, which turned into an encouraging smile towards Tigress. "I'm right, am I not?" When Tigress opened her mouth to tell him that it of course wasn't rehearsed and that Tai Lung was a horrible person, he added, "Because otherwise, I'd have to use our trip to give you a lengthy lecture on needlessly provoking a fight, which should go against everything I told you since you were a little girl."
Tigress froze, her smug smirk fading ever so slightly. "...your observation skills are unrivaled, Master."
"Yes, we were just kidding," Tai Lung added, knowing full well that he was standing on equally thin ice.
"Good, we understand each other." Master Shifu's glare was well hidden behind a gentle smile. "Well, let's not waste any more time. We'll be back in a few weeks; try not to burn down the Jade Palace while we're gone." And with that, he just waved at Tigress and marched off.
Tigress bowed at her fellow students - making a point of bowing at each of them separately and leaving out Tai Lung - before turning on her heel and hurrying after her Master.
"That went well," Tai Lung muttered under his breath, only to realize that nobody was paying any attention to him anyway. The Jade Palace students were all talking at the same time, creating an indecipherable mess of speech before stopping to sort things out.
"Stop changing the subject!" Crane snapped, looking uncharacteristically angry and even flapping his large wings for emphasis.
Monkey, who apparently was on the receiving end of Crane's anger, tried to calm down his friend. "Relax, Crane! It was only a small bet! It's like you always say: You win some, you lose some..."
"Yeah, and I lose some when you cheat," Crane huffed.
Tai Lung gave Po a questioning look, but the panda was looking as perplexed as he was.
"Wha- Cheat? Me? ...this time?" Monkey was looking genuinely perplexed.
"Oh come on, it's obvious!" Crane gestured this way and that. "You and Tigress hatch up this plot to make her act like a complete loon, you bet on her doing exactly that, and then you two split the winnings!"
Monkey narrowed his eyes for a bit, but then he blinked. "Oh!" He laughed. "I get it now! You never-... yeah, I can see where you're coming from..."
Crane looked at Viper and Mantis for either support or clarification, but the two smaller Masters only shrugged.
"Here, let me bring you up to speed," Monkey sat down on the stone floor in a lotus position. "In fact, let me bring the others up to speed as well. Could you fetch the board, Crane?" He addressed Tai Lung and Po now: "You see, after last night's events - just roll with it for now, Po - we decided to make a quick bet about how Tigress would act before leaving."
The bird scowled, but then turned around and went to a nearby shed to retrieve a large wooden stand that had a single sheet of paper tacked to it. He silently set it up next to Monkey, allowing Tai Lung and Po to read what had been written onto it. The writing consisted of a simple two-column table: a short description on the left side and a number on the other side, which probably described how much the person had wagered. Tai Lung focused on the left side and read the first entry. "Tigress has learned her lesson and found balance. Nothing will happen." The handwriting was impeccable - easily rivaling the grace Master Shifu had attained.
"That was my bet," Crane informed him. "I had faith in Tigress and usually pride myself on understanding her, so imagine my surprise just now..." He glared at Monkey, who just sighed and made a moving-on sign.
"Tai Lung is murdered after a heated mating session," the snow leopard read the next entry and immediately did a double-take. "Come again?"
"Hey, they tell you to write what you know, right?" Mantis simply commented and shrugged. "I admit I didn't really expect to win the jackpot, but I would've loved to see everybody's faces if I had."
Viper was right, he does have issues... He took a deep breath and looked at the third entry. "Tigress acts like a complete jerk."
"Mine, obviously," Monkey told him.
And last, but not least... "After a fight that leaves either Tai Lung or Tigress terribly maimed, the other one will weep and declare their undying love. Followed by much kissing." He froze. Then he re-read that last entry, hoping that he had simply misunderstood something. But no, the message remained the same. "What the..."
"What can I say?" Viper smiled apologetically. "I'm a hopeless romantic."
His eyes moved from her to the board, then back to her. "I think that's just plain hopeless." And slightly disturbing.
"Needless to say that I won this bet," Monkey said and immediately held up his hand when Crane was about to protest again. "I know you're usually very good at reading people, Crane, but this situation is one you never had to witness before."
"Well, do enlighten us, then..." Crane was obviously unconvinced, but gave his peer the benefit of doubt.
Monkey took a deep breath. "Tigress... is nervous," he said at last.
For long seconds, nobody spoke. Crane and Monkey were communicating silently through a series of looks and gestures, and the others knew better than to interrupt them. "Okay, you have my attention," Crane finally admitted and folded his wings neatly.
"Tigress doesn't get nervous," Viper stated, looking at the others for support. "She's always calm and collected. Hey, even when she was heading out to certain doom-" A quick glance at Tai Lung, who barely bothered to look innocent and decided not to bring up occasions like the Apple Test where he had shown his nicer side. "-she hadn't been nervous."
"Of course not," Crane muttered and rolled his eyes. "At that point, she had been so obsessed with her mission that she almost eagerly embraced dying for her Master." He shook his head. "However, Viper does have a point - Tigress isn't the type who gets nervous; but I gather you've seen her like this before?"
"Yes, and you barely missed it," Monkey told him and smirked. "A few months before you moved in, she took her Master exam."
"Funny how that topic just keeps coming up recently," Viper whispered just loud enough for Tai Lung to hear while maintaining a perfectly neutral expression.
"And boy, had she been nervous the days before the exam," Monkey continued. "As in, complete breakdown, panic attacks, staying up late to go through every possible exam challenge... it had been a real mess."
"That doesn't sound anything like Tigress." Viper objected. "Couldn't she just have retaken the exam if she had failed?"
"Oh, of course," Monkey gave her an obviously fake smile. "It would just have meant admitting that she wasn't living up to the standards set by a certain other student..." He gave Tai Lung a meaningful look.
"Don't tell me you're trying to pin that on me!" the snow leopard huffed and crossed his arms. "That one's all between Tigress and Master Shifu."
Monkey more or less admitted that point with a noncommittal shrug before moving on. "Anyway. Master Shifu decided to do his best to make her snap her out of it. He of course did so by telling her that showing nervousness was the first step towards defeat and that in a pinch, covering your anxiety was acceptable: boasting, grandstanding, intimidating, antagonizing, whatever gets the job done."
Tai Lung exchanged bewildered glances with the others. "That sounds like a terrible way to deal with anxiety," he finally said, and the others nodded. "How would he even come up with such a lesson?"
"Maybe he thought it's what you've been doing all these years?" Monkey suggested and flashed him a grin. "Besides, she ended up passing the exam, so everybody involved felt vindicated by the results."
"I don't grandstand!" the former Jade Palace student protested, filing away all objections to his father figure's terrible parenting ideas for later. "Grandstanding is for people who have to compensate for their small-"
"OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!" Monkey mock-roared, shaking his fist at the sky. Mantis, Crane and Viper almost died in their attempt not to laugh.
"Your death will be swift and painful," Tai Lung hissed; but in reality, he was close to laughing, too. He waited patiently for the four Masters to calm down a bit. "So Tigress tried to overplay her anxiety with boasting?"
"That's my guess at least," Monkey confirmed. "She's probably banking on Master Shifu teaching her something good to use against you. Because let's face it, there will be a rematch between you two. Controlled sparring, sure, but still. And to be honest, I don't know which result would be more desirable for you: If he does teach her some special technique, expect the fight of your lifetime."
"And if he doesn't?" Tai Lung asked, even though he knew the answer to that already.
Monkey took a deep breath. "A focused Tigress is a force of nature. I don't even dare to imagine what a desperate and potentially unhinged Tigress will be like in a fight against her nemesis."
"Mhhh, unhinged Kung Fu fighter... where did I hear that one before?" Viper asked lightly, making her peers cough nervously.
Tai Lung decided to ignore the bait, mostly because he knew that she was right. A crazy Tigress would be a serious threat. Not because she would be an unstoppable fighter, but because those who could stop her couldn't bring themselves to bring her down. It would be worse than my fall from grace. "Let's not worry about the worst case. I have faith in Master Shifu to know what Tigress needs."
"That's adorable," Monkey commented, making Tai Lung wonder if 'Mood Swing' was one of the more recent additions to the Thousand Scrolls of Kung Fu, "and it just so happens that I know what you need: lots and lots of training. You need to be at your peak if you want to give Tigress the fight she longs for. Which is why we'll come up with a nice training schedule for you that will let you experiment with your styles while we also get a nicely varied workout."
Crane cocked his head. "Wow, that sounds surprisingly focused and disci-"
"But that'll come later," Monkey cut him off with a grin. "Right now, heaven is high and the emperor is far away, as the proverb goes." He gave Crane a challenging look, but the large bird just rolled his eyes in silence. "Excellent - LAST ONE AT THE POOL WILL PAY TWICE HIS BET!" And with that, he, Mantis, Viper and Po were dashing off, leaving only Tai Lung and Crane behind.
"You're not going to stop them?" the snow leopard asked.
Crane sighed quietly. "Let them have their fun for now - they deserve a vacation before the universe decides to make things interesting again."
Tai Lung raised an eyebrow at that. "You're talking as if you're expecting an invasion," he finally said for the second time that day.
"I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but... something just bothers me. Master Shifu's sudden departure with Tigress... it's so unlike him. Something is up."
"Well, man's schemes are inferior to those made by heaven," Tai Lung showed that Monkey wasn't the only one who had paid attention to Master Oogway citing proverbs, "but when it comes to scheming, heaven has nothing on Master Shifu."
"So you too think something will happen?"
"I think that after your glorious plan where you tried to blame your demise on Po's appetite last night, Master Shifu won't give you the keys to the Jade Palace without a backup plan." Tai Lung allowed himself a smirk. "And speaking of putting you guys in charge, what did happen last time, anyway?"
After a pause, Crane returned the smirk. "I'll tell you if you beat me to the pool." And with that, he was gone.
Title: Chapter 12: Demoralization
Fandom: Kung Fu Panda
Rating: PG - PG-13
Word count: 4354
As a child, Tai Lung had once thrown a pebble at one of the servant ducks. He had been very young, he hadn't really known what he had been doing, and he had been rightfully punished for it by Master Shifu. But while he had learned his lesson, he had never actually experienced how much it could hurt to have someone throw rocks at him - nobody had been stupid enough to try.
At least until this morning.
The rock felt about as large as his fist, and it had been thrown with force against his arm. Tai Lung woke up with a loud snarl, claws and teeth bared, ready to take on whoever had just signed their death warrant.
"You're awake, what a shame," Tigress commented drily from her position at the cave entrance. She lazily tossed a second rock over her shoulder, obviously regretting that she wouldn't get to throw that one at him, too.
Tai Lung took a moment to look at the rock that had hit him - it was a lot smaller than he had assumed, but somebody obviously didn't know her own throwing strength. "You," He hissed and slowly made his way over to her. Much to her credit, Tigress didn't move an inch despite just having induced murderous rage in an opponent who was nearly at her teacher's skill level. Still, I can kinda see why she would want to keep her distance when waking me up. I mean, would I just sneak up to my sleeping self after all that had happened? ...then again, there are other ways. Such as clearing your throat. Or making some other noise. "So you think you can mess with me as you please the moment Master Shifu says he'll teach you something new?"
"We need to talk about that," she told him flatly, looking straight into his eyes.
Calm down, he told himself. Things have been working out okay so far, so don't ruin it all just because she decided to act like a complete loon. He let his claws slide back into their hiding spots. "What is there to talk about?"
"The issue of both me and Master Shifu being gone from the Jade Palace for weeks."
"Pah. As if this will be the first time this has happened."
"The last few times, we've had Master Oogway. And you had been safely locked up far, far away from here."
The urge to let his claws spring free again was almost overwhelming. "What are you implying?" he hissed.
Tigress immediately opened her mouth to reply, but then froze. After a few seconds, she straightened her back and took a deep breath, obviously fighting her own urge to escalate the situation. "I didn't come here to imply anything." She sighed. "Listen. Crane's wing is still not fully healed. Po is excellent at improvising and a fast learner, but he still has lots of training to do before he can stop relying on luck and intuition. That leaves Viper, Mantis and Monkey. They're very good, but there's a reason why Master Shifu trained the five of us as a group."
"You're talking as if you're expecting an invasion," Tai Lung told her and cocked his head.
"I'm not, but in a few hours, the Jade Palace will be more vulnerable than ever before."
Ignoring that time all of us left the palace and ran into the old fangface... but this isn't the time to make good points. "So you're asking me to protect it?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No. I'm asking you to not behave like a complete idiot who will throw away his one chance at redemption the moment he sees a chance to finish what he couldn't do months ago." She gave him an uncharacteristic smirk. "Because then I know you will protect it."
I could probably break her leg in a way that will only become noticeable hours from now, Tai Lung mused, but he knew it was just his brain humoring him in order to prevent him from actually doing anything like that. "It's almost funny how you practically try to get yourself killed just to make sure that I keep doing what I've been doing the past few weeks," he finally sneered.
"Oh, please. You're not going to hurt me." Tigress was practically bouncing in place while still maintaining her cool and calm pose with her hands behind her back. "After all, if you harm me now, you will have ruined Master Shifu's elaborate plan. And ohhhhhhh, he wouldn't like that..."
"Well, it's nice that you finally admit that your best shot at triumphing over me is to hide behind our Master," the snow leopard purred softly. It was a low blow and a cheap shot, but in his mind, seeing her happy and calm expression crumble was worth it. Besides, it might make her snap out of whatever insanity infected her mind...
Her face briefly went from happiness to surprise, then to rage, and finally to a carefully composed neutral expression. "Don't think that you can bait me into giving you the beating you deserve," she stated. "After all, Master Shifu only offered to train me because he felt confident that I wouldn't strangle you in your sleep instead of waking you up with a pebble." She let that one sink in for a moment and smiled sweetly. "So. Shall we head up and pretend we aren't both itching for a confrontation?"
Wait, I'm not itching for a fight! Well, except for all those times when our bickering threatens to escalate... but deep down, I don't want a fight. After all, I'm not the one who wants revenge for a lost fight that happened months ago. "You're really banking on Master Shifu teaching you some miraculous technique to beat me, aren't you?" he simply muttered and motioned her to lead the way out of the cave.
"Don't be absurd." Her sweet smile turned into a cruel smirk, and Tai Lung could practically feel the temperature drop. "I'm not hoping for some sort of miracle. I won't need it. All I need is for Master Shifu to give me an edge. Some training, some meditation." She put on her cool and detached expression again. "I've unfortunately been... off-balance ever since this entire mess with your break-out, but that will change. No more of this emotional, desperate fighting."
Tai Lung walked past her and out of the cave. "You're adorable when you're bluffing," he said when he was right next to her.
For a short while, he was walking in silence along the hidden path leading to the stairs. Finally, Tigress spoke up again. "I will defeat you, Tai Lung."
Tai Lung smirked and turned around, having prepared a witty reply long seconds ago. "You-" He froze when he realized that Tigress was gone without a trace. "Heh, not too bad," he admitted and chuckled. But the amused expression quickly gave way to a mild frown as he considered what she had said. How likely is it that I've only seen a distracted, frantic, desperate version of Tigress so far? He cocked his head and mulled it over. And how worried should I be if she wasn't bluffing? After carefully looking around, the snow leopard huffed. Not too worried, but I should probably get some more serious training done while she's gone, just in case. A moment later, he had disappeared, too.
He took his time to make sure not even the servants noticed him when he grabbed something to eat. The sound of the morning gong finally told him that it was about time to head to the courtyard.
It took Master Shifu only a few minutes to gather his students in the center of the courtyard. The six fighters were standing in a straight line in front of their Master, with Tigress standing at the far right side. From his hiding place, Tai Lung marveled at how innocent Tigress was looking. You'd never know she made remarks about strangling me in my sleep just a few minutes ago...
"Good morning," Master Shifu began, then paused for effect before continuing, "again."
"Wait, again?" Po asked, making Monkey, Crane, Viper and Mantis coughing nervously.
"Oh, joy, they still haven't told you," the red panda remarked drily and shook his head. "Well, that's good to know." He opened his mouth again, but then stopped himself. "Tai Lung, why don't you join us? This is as much about you as it is about the rest of us."
"Of course, Master Shifu," the snow leopard replied and leaped out of his hiding place, landing neatly next to Viper at the far left side of the line.
Viper gave him a once-over and then just rolled her eyes. "Pity," she whispered, "there goes my bet..."
Bet? Tai Lung asked himself, but decided to keep his mouth shut for the moment. More than enough time to ask her once Master Shifu is gone.
"Well, as most of you know, I have decided to go on a training journey with Tigress," Master Shifu said to bring Po up to speed. The panda gestured this way and back, stammering quietly for a while before finally nodding in awe. When Master Shifu was positive that there would be no outbursts, he continued: "We will probably be gone for a few weeks, which leaves us with a slight... organizational issue." He sighed very deeply. "I don't feel comfortable leaving the Jade Palace for the second time within months without a Grand Master. I really don't."
"Hey, come on now," Po told the red panda, making Tai Lung raise an eyebrow at the chummy tone of the Dragon Warrior. "We got this! Right, guys? I mean, you and Tigress will be gone, sure, but me and those guys? Who's gonna stop us? Just look at 'em! Mantis! Viper! Crane! Monkey! Me! Tai Lu-" He froze in mid-word when he realized the issue in question.
"Yes," Master Shifu stated flatly. "About that."
"Now, wait a second..." Tai Lung started, but Master Shifu's bored look silenced him quickly.
"This is not about your past, Tai Lung," his old teacher informed him. "You are hardly a saint, but I know you have the experience and the ability to stay cool under pressure, so-"
"Oh sweet mercy," Tigress suddenly wheezed, "you're not seriously considering to appoint Tai Lung as acting Grand Master, are you?"
"What, did that catch you... off-balance?" The remark was out before Tai Lung could even consider holding it back.
Instead of answering verbally, Tigress just gave him a glare that made the taller people between them cringe and duck.
"I really wonder if you two are capable of exchanging two sentences without antagonizing each other," Master Shifu muttered and shook his head. "No, Tigress, I'm not appointing Tai Lung as anything. However, I will give everybody clear roles."
Tigress and Tai Lung exchanged quick glances, then both of them shrugged.
When Master Shifu was certain that his two best students wouldn't make any quips, he took a deep breath. "Monkey and Mantis? You two will be responsible for training schedules."
"Oh yeah, now we're talking!" Monkey cheered and held up a finger to offer Mantis their version of a high-five.
"But-...!" Crane bursted out, waving his wings at Monkey and Mantis, then at the entire temple. "You can't-... I mean... do you think this is wise?"
The red panda gave him a knowing look. "Do you have any reason to oppose this choice, Crane?" Ignoring the suddenly alarmed looks Monkey and Mantis gave the bird, he pressed on. "Maybe something these two did the last time I had left you five alone?"
Crane twitched lightly, and even Tigress was looking mildly uncomfortable. It was obvious that something had happened, but apparently, the Furious Five had decided to not bring this up with their Master. "Um... no, Master Shifu, nothing had happened," Crane finally replied lamely.
"Good." Master Shifu clapped his hands. "It doesn't really matter, anyway. After all, I'm making you and Viper responsible for keeping Monkey and Mantis in check. If they slack off or decide to do something stupid, you're officially authorized to correct them."
That was enough to immediately invert the moods of the four fighters in question. Crane and Viper were sporting the widest grins Tai Lung had ever seen while Monkey and Mantis were openly scowling. "Your wisdom is as limitless as the heaven above, Master Shifu," the bird whispered and bowed deeply.
"Po," Master Shifu moved to the next item on his mental list, "you will be responsible for keeping those four in check."
Four pairs of eyes were suddenly focused on the panda, who was coughing nervously. "Uh, Master Shifu, I'm seriously not sure I want to get between those four when things are about to go from bad to worse..."
"Nonsense!" the red panda cheered. "The Dragon Warrior must not only train his muscles, but also his diplomatic abilities!"
"Yeah, but-"
"Anyway! Tai Lung!"
"I can see where this is going," the snow leopard muttered, but didn't raise his voice to object.
"It's your job to make sure that those clowns don't kill each other while I'm gone."
"Heh..." The quiet laugh made everybody turn around. "That's rather ironic, don't you think, Master?" Tigress asked, making no effort to hide her smile. "I mean, asking Tai Lung to prevent misery and death?"
The people standing between him and Tigress immediately moved backwards.
It took every ounce of Tai Lung's strength to not leap past the assembled warriors and break her limbs in stunningly creative ways. "Cute," he hissed instead.
Master Shifu gave them a thin-lipped smile. "I'll have to chain at least one of you up if you keep going like this."
"Chains won't hold me," Tai Lung and Tigress replied in perfect unison and promptly glared at each other for it.
"...you rehearsed this, didn't you?" their Master asked and gave them a puzzled frown, which turned into an encouraging smile towards Tigress. "I'm right, am I not?" When Tigress opened her mouth to tell him that it of course wasn't rehearsed and that Tai Lung was a horrible person, he added, "Because otherwise, I'd have to use our trip to give you a lengthy lecture on needlessly provoking a fight, which should go against everything I told you since you were a little girl."
Tigress froze, her smug smirk fading ever so slightly. "...your observation skills are unrivaled, Master."
"Yes, we were just kidding," Tai Lung added, knowing full well that he was standing on equally thin ice.
"Good, we understand each other." Master Shifu's glare was well hidden behind a gentle smile. "Well, let's not waste any more time. We'll be back in a few weeks; try not to burn down the Jade Palace while we're gone." And with that, he just waved at Tigress and marched off.
Tigress bowed at her fellow students - making a point of bowing at each of them separately and leaving out Tai Lung - before turning on her heel and hurrying after her Master.
"That went well," Tai Lung muttered under his breath, only to realize that nobody was paying any attention to him anyway. The Jade Palace students were all talking at the same time, creating an indecipherable mess of speech before stopping to sort things out.
"Stop changing the subject!" Crane snapped, looking uncharacteristically angry and even flapping his large wings for emphasis.
Monkey, who apparently was on the receiving end of Crane's anger, tried to calm down his friend. "Relax, Crane! It was only a small bet! It's like you always say: You win some, you lose some..."
"Yeah, and I lose some when you cheat," Crane huffed.
Tai Lung gave Po a questioning look, but the panda was looking as perplexed as he was.
"Wha- Cheat? Me? ...this time?" Monkey was looking genuinely perplexed.
"Oh come on, it's obvious!" Crane gestured this way and that. "You and Tigress hatch up this plot to make her act like a complete loon, you bet on her doing exactly that, and then you two split the winnings!"
Monkey narrowed his eyes for a bit, but then he blinked. "Oh!" He laughed. "I get it now! You never-... yeah, I can see where you're coming from..."
Crane looked at Viper and Mantis for either support or clarification, but the two smaller Masters only shrugged.
"Here, let me bring you up to speed," Monkey sat down on the stone floor in a lotus position. "In fact, let me bring the others up to speed as well. Could you fetch the board, Crane?" He addressed Tai Lung and Po now: "You see, after last night's events - just roll with it for now, Po - we decided to make a quick bet about how Tigress would act before leaving."
The bird scowled, but then turned around and went to a nearby shed to retrieve a large wooden stand that had a single sheet of paper tacked to it. He silently set it up next to Monkey, allowing Tai Lung and Po to read what had been written onto it. The writing consisted of a simple two-column table: a short description on the left side and a number on the other side, which probably described how much the person had wagered. Tai Lung focused on the left side and read the first entry. "Tigress has learned her lesson and found balance. Nothing will happen." The handwriting was impeccable - easily rivaling the grace Master Shifu had attained.
"That was my bet," Crane informed him. "I had faith in Tigress and usually pride myself on understanding her, so imagine my surprise just now..." He glared at Monkey, who just sighed and made a moving-on sign.
"Tai Lung is murdered after a heated mating session," the snow leopard read the next entry and immediately did a double-take. "Come again?"
"Hey, they tell you to write what you know, right?" Mantis simply commented and shrugged. "I admit I didn't really expect to win the jackpot, but I would've loved to see everybody's faces if I had."
Viper was right, he does have issues... He took a deep breath and looked at the third entry. "Tigress acts like a complete jerk."
"Mine, obviously," Monkey told him.
And last, but not least... "After a fight that leaves either Tai Lung or Tigress terribly maimed, the other one will weep and declare their undying love. Followed by much kissing." He froze. Then he re-read that last entry, hoping that he had simply misunderstood something. But no, the message remained the same. "What the..."
"What can I say?" Viper smiled apologetically. "I'm a hopeless romantic."
His eyes moved from her to the board, then back to her. "I think that's just plain hopeless." And slightly disturbing.
"Needless to say that I won this bet," Monkey said and immediately held up his hand when Crane was about to protest again. "I know you're usually very good at reading people, Crane, but this situation is one you never had to witness before."
"Well, do enlighten us, then..." Crane was obviously unconvinced, but gave his peer the benefit of doubt.
Monkey took a deep breath. "Tigress... is nervous," he said at last.
For long seconds, nobody spoke. Crane and Monkey were communicating silently through a series of looks and gestures, and the others knew better than to interrupt them. "Okay, you have my attention," Crane finally admitted and folded his wings neatly.
"Tigress doesn't get nervous," Viper stated, looking at the others for support. "She's always calm and collected. Hey, even when she was heading out to certain doom-" A quick glance at Tai Lung, who barely bothered to look innocent and decided not to bring up occasions like the Apple Test where he had shown his nicer side. "-she hadn't been nervous."
"Of course not," Crane muttered and rolled his eyes. "At that point, she had been so obsessed with her mission that she almost eagerly embraced dying for her Master." He shook his head. "However, Viper does have a point - Tigress isn't the type who gets nervous; but I gather you've seen her like this before?"
"Yes, and you barely missed it," Monkey told him and smirked. "A few months before you moved in, she took her Master exam."
"Funny how that topic just keeps coming up recently," Viper whispered just loud enough for Tai Lung to hear while maintaining a perfectly neutral expression.
"And boy, had she been nervous the days before the exam," Monkey continued. "As in, complete breakdown, panic attacks, staying up late to go through every possible exam challenge... it had been a real mess."
"That doesn't sound anything like Tigress." Viper objected. "Couldn't she just have retaken the exam if she had failed?"
"Oh, of course," Monkey gave her an obviously fake smile. "It would just have meant admitting that she wasn't living up to the standards set by a certain other student..." He gave Tai Lung a meaningful look.
"Don't tell me you're trying to pin that on me!" the snow leopard huffed and crossed his arms. "That one's all between Tigress and Master Shifu."
Monkey more or less admitted that point with a noncommittal shrug before moving on. "Anyway. Master Shifu decided to do his best to make her snap her out of it. He of course did so by telling her that showing nervousness was the first step towards defeat and that in a pinch, covering your anxiety was acceptable: boasting, grandstanding, intimidating, antagonizing, whatever gets the job done."
Tai Lung exchanged bewildered glances with the others. "That sounds like a terrible way to deal with anxiety," he finally said, and the others nodded. "How would he even come up with such a lesson?"
"Maybe he thought it's what you've been doing all these years?" Monkey suggested and flashed him a grin. "Besides, she ended up passing the exam, so everybody involved felt vindicated by the results."
"I don't grandstand!" the former Jade Palace student protested, filing away all objections to his father figure's terrible parenting ideas for later. "Grandstanding is for people who have to compensate for their small-"
"OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!" Monkey mock-roared, shaking his fist at the sky. Mantis, Crane and Viper almost died in their attempt not to laugh.
"Your death will be swift and painful," Tai Lung hissed; but in reality, he was close to laughing, too. He waited patiently for the four Masters to calm down a bit. "So Tigress tried to overplay her anxiety with boasting?"
"That's my guess at least," Monkey confirmed. "She's probably banking on Master Shifu teaching her something good to use against you. Because let's face it, there will be a rematch between you two. Controlled sparring, sure, but still. And to be honest, I don't know which result would be more desirable for you: If he does teach her some special technique, expect the fight of your lifetime."
"And if he doesn't?" Tai Lung asked, even though he knew the answer to that already.
Monkey took a deep breath. "A focused Tigress is a force of nature. I don't even dare to imagine what a desperate and potentially unhinged Tigress will be like in a fight against her nemesis."
"Mhhh, unhinged Kung Fu fighter... where did I hear that one before?" Viper asked lightly, making her peers cough nervously.
Tai Lung decided to ignore the bait, mostly because he knew that she was right. A crazy Tigress would be a serious threat. Not because she would be an unstoppable fighter, but because those who could stop her couldn't bring themselves to bring her down. It would be worse than my fall from grace. "Let's not worry about the worst case. I have faith in Master Shifu to know what Tigress needs."
"That's adorable," Monkey commented, making Tai Lung wonder if 'Mood Swing' was one of the more recent additions to the Thousand Scrolls of Kung Fu, "and it just so happens that I know what you need: lots and lots of training. You need to be at your peak if you want to give Tigress the fight she longs for. Which is why we'll come up with a nice training schedule for you that will let you experiment with your styles while we also get a nicely varied workout."
Crane cocked his head. "Wow, that sounds surprisingly focused and disci-"
"But that'll come later," Monkey cut him off with a grin. "Right now, heaven is high and the emperor is far away, as the proverb goes." He gave Crane a challenging look, but the large bird just rolled his eyes in silence. "Excellent - LAST ONE AT THE POOL WILL PAY TWICE HIS BET!" And with that, he, Mantis, Viper and Po were dashing off, leaving only Tai Lung and Crane behind.
"You're not going to stop them?" the snow leopard asked.
Crane sighed quietly. "Let them have their fun for now - they deserve a vacation before the universe decides to make things interesting again."
Tai Lung raised an eyebrow at that. "You're talking as if you're expecting an invasion," he finally said for the second time that day.
"I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but... something just bothers me. Master Shifu's sudden departure with Tigress... it's so unlike him. Something is up."
"Well, man's schemes are inferior to those made by heaven," Tai Lung showed that Monkey wasn't the only one who had paid attention to Master Oogway citing proverbs, "but when it comes to scheming, heaven has nothing on Master Shifu."
"So you too think something will happen?"
"I think that after your glorious plan where you tried to blame your demise on Po's appetite last night, Master Shifu won't give you the keys to the Jade Palace without a backup plan." Tai Lung allowed himself a smirk. "And speaking of putting you guys in charge, what did happen last time, anyway?"
After a pause, Crane returned the smirk. "I'll tell you if you beat me to the pool." And with that, he was gone.