I'm updating because I haven't in a while.
I just don't like to post if I don't have news (preferably the good kind) to post about. And if I don't need to vent either, then what's the point?
Lately, I haven't really wanted to post just because the things that have been on my mind most (still) have been work, money, and "what am I going to do with myself?" issues.
On the work front: I'm getting hours consistently, but I could still use more and at a higher rate. The opening of the new store (where I will be assistant manager) has been delayed. I'm still unsure what this means for me. Will I have to wait longer for my higher rate? I probably will have to wait longer for more hours. I still need to motivate myself to learn all the opening and closing procedures again. I feel like I'm making a great grunt, but... eh. It's GameStop again. I don't know if I'm motivated enough to be a great boss again, so I really need to work on that. It's just a bit harder to motivate myself now that the store opening has been delayed. This annoys me.
Money-wise: I'm still broke. The money I expected to be coming in obviously is not. I have enough to pay my bills, but still not enough to help my family. This also annoys me. I'm putting away my credit card in some dark corner of my desk to make sure I'm not tempted to use it. *sigh*
What am I going to do with myself?
Well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? I'm filling out my volunteer application for the Valley Pregnancy Center. I finally called them, am finally filling out my application. I'll probably have that out by tomorrow. Some of their informational packets and the questions on their application have me a little worried, though. I realize that they're a religious organization, but does that mean that they're screening for religious nuts? If that's the case, then we might have a problem. I'm just naturally wary of religious nuts, just as I'm wary of super-liberals and ultra-conservatives. Am I wasting my time sending them an application if I'm not a religious nut? Because I'm not. I'm not even a huge spiritual nut. I've been working on developing a closer relationship with God, but I still don't like going to church.
And then they have some questions there about what my feelings are regarding unwed mothers and "what if teenagers or unmarried women come around asking for birth control," and stuff. Well, unwed mothers, if they have the resources and the strength to care for their kid, then good for them. "More power to them," is what I wrote on the application, actually. I'd be concerned about their support system (primarily: do they HAVE one?). And as for the birth control: if a teenager or single woman who is sexually active wants to have birth control, then PLEASE let them have it. At least they're thinking ahead about some of the consequences related to having sex, and I wish more people would do it. It's not that I think that teenagers should be having sex, but they're going to do it anyway regardless of whether or not they have pregnancy prevention.
Personally, I think these are good answers. However, I get the distinct feeling from the application and the reading materials this place sent me that I would be viewed as a heathen. So, that being said... I'm not sure I want to volunteer there anymore. I'm sending the application in anyway, but I don't think they'll want me. I should call Birthright, so I don't just end up wasting my time entirely. By the way, this whole "are they screening FOR religious nuts?" rant is what made me use my "Repent!" icon. I'm sure I'll probably never use it for anything else ever again anyway. Poor little stick figure grim reaper.
Anyway, aside from the whole volunteering thing, I still need to go to Las Positas and raid their career center. I need a real person to help me, because I just don't know how to go about doing what I want to do. And what I would like to do is get a job, make some money, and then go back to school. But then I also need to figure out where I want to go to school, and I would really love to do something outside of the U.S. Not that the U.S. isn't great and all, but... dammit, I wanna get out of here, and anywhere within the country is still too close. The romantic in me wants to go off and find my prince charming with a sexy accent. Y'know, out in the U.K. or Australia (I'm not sure about loving the Canadian "accent," but I wouldn't mind giving a Canadian a chance to make a Puerto Rican girl happy ^_^). Then there's the practical part of me (damn that practicality. I want my happy-ever-after dream!) that says "Hey, y'know, the U.S. has schools too you dumbass... And it'll be a lot cheaper if you stay close to home." Well you know what, practical voice? SHOVE IT. I WANT MY ADVENTURE!!!
...ahem. Anyway, so I thought maybe I could find someone at Las Po who could help me with that... I certainly hope so. I want my adventure! And I've been meaning to go this week, but somehow the week went by and I didn't get a chance to. Monday's a holiday, so they probably won't be open... hm. I think to be sure I'll have to go next week. Like on Wednesday, is probably the best chance I have of there actually being someone there who can help me.
So those are my thoughts on what I want to do with myself. Now I just need to get crackin' on them.
Finally, aside from all of that, I would really like a way to channel all of my creative juices and inspiration. They're there... I'm practically drowning in creativity lately, to be honest. It's just that there's so much of it that I don't know what to do with it. I'm not just watered with creativity. I'm flooded. It's crazy. I'm sketching out a lot of ideas, and now I just need to settle down with one or two that I really would like to not just color but... well, PAINT. Coloring sounds like I'm just grabbing a pack of crayons and adding flat colors, and I want to do the works for these things y'know. Background, shading, details, etc. *twitch* I wish I had art vision, to be able to transfer all the stuff that's in my head onto the paper, fully rendered!
I should've majored in art. XD Or at least minored in it. I want to take an art class.
Oh, and a BTW:
Concerning health (mine and other people's):
Send good thoughts and/or prayers to my friend Brittany. She is having spinal surgery on Tuesday because her neck is severely screwed up. The surgeon will be taking bone from her hip to replace two discs in her neck because those discs are degenerating (I think that's the word anyway) and though they expect it to go well, she'll be in recovery for three months and... She's mostly taking it okay, but she wants to get this surgery over with and it just sounds scary (at least to me). I mean, wouldn't you freak out if you heard "spinal surgery" in regards to someone you know and care about?
And then for my own health, send good thoughts and/or prayers to me, that I don't have anything weird going on 'cause I don't have any insurance to be able to go and take care of it. I blacked out yesterday, and I'm still not sure why. I'm thinking it could've been a combination of not eating enough, not getting enough air (it was really stuffy where I was at), and a sudden temperature change (since I went outside into the heat to get some air, it was HOT, and I walked out of an air-conditioned area). I wouldn't be too worried, if it weren't for the fact that I felt like I'd been convulsing when I fell and I was disoriented for longer than I thought necessary. I mean disoriented like, "Umm... where the fuck am I and how did I get here? O_o" I didn't even remember walking out of the office. Add to that that I wasn't able to really stop shaking for about an hour afterwards. I wish someone had seen me, so that they could tell me what it looked like. I was out with Brittany to offer moral support at her doctor's appointment yesterday (along with her parents) when I passed out. And later her mom asked me if I'd hit my head. I imagine I must have. I flipped over something fierce, SOMEHOW, so I can't imagine not having hit my head. Now my neck is a little stiff, but my head doesn't feel tender anywhere, so if I did hit my head I'm not feeling anything from it.
Anyway, that is all. If you actually finished reading all that, you deserve a cookie. :)
Lately, I haven't really wanted to post just because the things that have been on my mind most (still) have been work, money, and "what am I going to do with myself?" issues.
On the work front: I'm getting hours consistently, but I could still use more and at a higher rate. The opening of the new store (where I will be assistant manager) has been delayed. I'm still unsure what this means for me. Will I have to wait longer for my higher rate? I probably will have to wait longer for more hours. I still need to motivate myself to learn all the opening and closing procedures again. I feel like I'm making a great grunt, but... eh. It's GameStop again. I don't know if I'm motivated enough to be a great boss again, so I really need to work on that. It's just a bit harder to motivate myself now that the store opening has been delayed. This annoys me.
Money-wise: I'm still broke. The money I expected to be coming in obviously is not. I have enough to pay my bills, but still not enough to help my family. This also annoys me. I'm putting away my credit card in some dark corner of my desk to make sure I'm not tempted to use it. *sigh*
What am I going to do with myself?
Well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? I'm filling out my volunteer application for the Valley Pregnancy Center. I finally called them, am finally filling out my application. I'll probably have that out by tomorrow. Some of their informational packets and the questions on their application have me a little worried, though. I realize that they're a religious organization, but does that mean that they're screening for religious nuts? If that's the case, then we might have a problem. I'm just naturally wary of religious nuts, just as I'm wary of super-liberals and ultra-conservatives. Am I wasting my time sending them an application if I'm not a religious nut? Because I'm not. I'm not even a huge spiritual nut. I've been working on developing a closer relationship with God, but I still don't like going to church.
And then they have some questions there about what my feelings are regarding unwed mothers and "what if teenagers or unmarried women come around asking for birth control," and stuff. Well, unwed mothers, if they have the resources and the strength to care for their kid, then good for them. "More power to them," is what I wrote on the application, actually. I'd be concerned about their support system (primarily: do they HAVE one?). And as for the birth control: if a teenager or single woman who is sexually active wants to have birth control, then PLEASE let them have it. At least they're thinking ahead about some of the consequences related to having sex, and I wish more people would do it. It's not that I think that teenagers should be having sex, but they're going to do it anyway regardless of whether or not they have pregnancy prevention.
Personally, I think these are good answers. However, I get the distinct feeling from the application and the reading materials this place sent me that I would be viewed as a heathen. So, that being said... I'm not sure I want to volunteer there anymore. I'm sending the application in anyway, but I don't think they'll want me. I should call Birthright, so I don't just end up wasting my time entirely. By the way, this whole "are they screening FOR religious nuts?" rant is what made me use my "Repent!" icon. I'm sure I'll probably never use it for anything else ever again anyway. Poor little stick figure grim reaper.
Anyway, aside from the whole volunteering thing, I still need to go to Las Positas and raid their career center. I need a real person to help me, because I just don't know how to go about doing what I want to do. And what I would like to do is get a job, make some money, and then go back to school. But then I also need to figure out where I want to go to school, and I would really love to do something outside of the U.S. Not that the U.S. isn't great and all, but... dammit, I wanna get out of here, and anywhere within the country is still too close. The romantic in me wants to go off and find my prince charming with a sexy accent. Y'know, out in the U.K. or Australia (I'm not sure about loving the Canadian "accent," but I wouldn't mind giving a Canadian a chance to make a Puerto Rican girl happy ^_^). Then there's the practical part of me (damn that practicality. I want my happy-ever-after dream!) that says "Hey, y'know, the U.S. has schools too you dumbass... And it'll be a lot cheaper if you stay close to home." Well you know what, practical voice? SHOVE IT. I WANT MY ADVENTURE!!!
...ahem. Anyway, so I thought maybe I could find someone at Las Po who could help me with that... I certainly hope so. I want my adventure! And I've been meaning to go this week, but somehow the week went by and I didn't get a chance to. Monday's a holiday, so they probably won't be open... hm. I think to be sure I'll have to go next week. Like on Wednesday, is probably the best chance I have of there actually being someone there who can help me.
So those are my thoughts on what I want to do with myself. Now I just need to get crackin' on them.
Finally, aside from all of that, I would really like a way to channel all of my creative juices and inspiration. They're there... I'm practically drowning in creativity lately, to be honest. It's just that there's so much of it that I don't know what to do with it. I'm not just watered with creativity. I'm flooded. It's crazy. I'm sketching out a lot of ideas, and now I just need to settle down with one or two that I really would like to not just color but... well, PAINT. Coloring sounds like I'm just grabbing a pack of crayons and adding flat colors, and I want to do the works for these things y'know. Background, shading, details, etc. *twitch* I wish I had art vision, to be able to transfer all the stuff that's in my head onto the paper, fully rendered!
I should've majored in art. XD Or at least minored in it. I want to take an art class.
Oh, and a BTW:
Concerning health (mine and other people's):
Send good thoughts and/or prayers to my friend Brittany. She is having spinal surgery on Tuesday because her neck is severely screwed up. The surgeon will be taking bone from her hip to replace two discs in her neck because those discs are degenerating (I think that's the word anyway) and though they expect it to go well, she'll be in recovery for three months and... She's mostly taking it okay, but she wants to get this surgery over with and it just sounds scary (at least to me). I mean, wouldn't you freak out if you heard "spinal surgery" in regards to someone you know and care about?
And then for my own health, send good thoughts and/or prayers to me, that I don't have anything weird going on 'cause I don't have any insurance to be able to go and take care of it. I blacked out yesterday, and I'm still not sure why. I'm thinking it could've been a combination of not eating enough, not getting enough air (it was really stuffy where I was at), and a sudden temperature change (since I went outside into the heat to get some air, it was HOT, and I walked out of an air-conditioned area). I wouldn't be too worried, if it weren't for the fact that I felt like I'd been convulsing when I fell and I was disoriented for longer than I thought necessary. I mean disoriented like, "Umm... where the fuck am I and how did I get here? O_o" I didn't even remember walking out of the office. Add to that that I wasn't able to really stop shaking for about an hour afterwards. I wish someone had seen me, so that they could tell me what it looked like. I was out with Brittany to offer moral support at her doctor's appointment yesterday (along with her parents) when I passed out. And later her mom asked me if I'd hit my head. I imagine I must have. I flipped over something fierce, SOMEHOW, so I can't imagine not having hit my head. Now my neck is a little stiff, but my head doesn't feel tender anywhere, so if I did hit my head I'm not feeling anything from it.
Anyway, that is all. If you actually finished reading all that, you deserve a cookie. :)