~What is "Right"? (5/7)~
Title: What is "Right"? (5/7)
Author: Jen
Pairing: RyuShin (Ryutaro x Shintaro)
Genre: Fluff, Romance, & Angst
Rating: PG
Words: 1574
Summary: Ryutaro hits puberty and realizes that his affection for his younger brother isn't so brotherly.
Notes: Whee~ Next chappy now! LOL I think I shall post every 2 days now. xP Last chappy will be on Shintaro's b-day. Yush, I like to plan like that. xPPP
And things get heated up in this chap. xDDD I always love Shintaro's POV, he makes things all cuter. xP
Comments are really appreciated~!!!
Previous: Chappy 1, Chappy 1.5, Chappy 2, Chappy 3, Chappy 4
Ryutaro's POV
"Umm... I'm sorry for what I did the other day... going to Yuma-nii's house without telling you or leaving a note..." Shintaro apologized with his head facing down to me the next day.
I had the urge to reach out for him and hug him, telling him that it was okay. Though it was not okay. Not when it came to Nakayama. I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.
"And so... I was wondering..." Shintaro was fidgeting with his fingers and I was getting a bad feeling about this. "If... I could go to his house today..." he added with a small voice.
Why did he sound like I was going to hit him or something? Or that he was scared of me? I'm reasonable, right? My mind flashed back to yesterday. I admit, I probably did scare him that day. I guess I will... this once... Just when I was about to tell him 'sure' out of my own free will, I heard myself say, "No." And it's not like I could stuff the words back into my mouth. Something in me wouldn't let me either. Probably my pride...
"Why not?!" Shintaro exclaimed, looking at me as if I was crazy.
And deja vu washed over me once again at this conversation but at the moment, my pent up frustration started to leak out. I couldn't hold any more inside. It seemed that yesterday... I didn't let it all out. "Why do you always ask 'why'? It's getting annoying!" My voice grew louder with each word.
Shintaro stared at me with cold eyes and then covered his ears. "Why why why why why why why," he kept on chanting. I knew he was doing on purpose to poke at me. I was not amused at all and my irritation was starting to show its ugly features.
"Shut up!" I yelled at him. "If you keep doing that, I'll never let you go to his house!!!" I retorted over his repeats.
Apparently he heard me since Shintaro closed his mouth, like he was thinking of some witty comment to counter back. "Why won't you let me? I don't understand!" Shintaro cried out with watery eyes. His mouth was quivering and his voice was breaking.
I felt my resolve crumbling along with my heart. Why was I the one making him cry so much and causing him pain? I don't want to do that anymore. "Because I like you!!!" I blurted out in the heat of the moment.
"What do you mean?! I don't understand you at all!"
"I mean this." And then in a matter of seconds, I found myself kissing Shintaro hard, his arms pinned against the door. Surprisingly, there was no resistance. Instead, I could feel Shintaro responding as I loosened my grip on him. My heart beat faster and I felt tingly all over my body especially with the butterflies growing in my stomach. Somehow, my lips ended up being pressed gently against his, brushing every so often at different angles. My hands were cupping Shintaro's cheeks as I inhaled his familiar scent.
Finally, we parted so we could catch our breaths. I heard his irregular breathing and saw his pink chubby cheeks glowing. I smiled and leaned my forehead against Shintaro's smaller one. I closed my eyes, embracing this moment.
"Nii-chan..." Shintaro whispered my name softly. I fluttered my eyes open to look at him. "I... I..." he started. His eyes were full of confusion and something else... that shouldn't have been there. I should've been happy but a dreaded feeling came over... eating me slowly.
This wasn't supposed to happen... at all. Shintaro wasn't supposed to know I liked him more than a brother. I wasn't supposed to kiss him desperately like that... because this is all wrong. I shouldn't be doing this.
I abruptly backed up and pushed Shintaro away, ignoring his reaction. I left without any word and went to my own room, effectively locking the door. I leaned against it with my face in my palm and slid down.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked myself, knowing that no one would be able to answer except for myself.
The emptied bottle of frustration just filled up again.
~~~
Shintaro's POV
I was on my bed, awake. But... for some reason nii-chan was there, too. And the next thing I knew, he was hovering over me like yesterday with those eyes... I didn't know why I did it, but I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down. My heart was beating like crazy yet telling me that... this was right. What was right?
Nii-chan didn't say a word, but continued staring at me. What did he want? I wanted to know... What happened next surprised me. I had lightly placed my mouth on his briefly. D-did I just kiss nii-chan? I didn't mean to do that yet why did I feel so confident in doing so? What does this mean?
I looked up to see nii-chan's reaction. He was smiling at me tenderly, making me feel warm inside. He cupped my chin and murmured, "Shintaro..." before leaning down... closer and closer... All I knew was that I wanted him to kiss me...
PLOP! I rolled off my bed and landed on the ground. As the pain started to go away, I rubbed my eyes. It was a dream, after all? The events from yesterday appeared in my head... I still didn't get what this all meant. Somewhere, I heard that dreams were a form of what you really wanted... was that what I wanted from nii-chan? I ruffled up my own hair out of confusion and pouted.
Who could I ask...? And the first thought that came to mind was Yuma-nii. But last time, nii-chan got mad at me... though what came after was...
I got up and went to nii-chan's room. He was already awake and I found myself inside, apologizing. "Umm... I'm sorry for what I did the other day... going to Yuma-nii's house without telling you or leaving a note..." I had to admit... that was wrong of me to do that... worrying nii-chan like that... I couldn't look at him in the face, scared to see his reaction. But I needed someone to rant this to... I couldn't keep it in... and for all I know, nii-chan could find out and I don't want him to... I think.
Nii-chan looked at me, thinking about what I said. For a second, I actually thought that he would let me go but what came out of his mouth was a firm, "No."
Of course, my stubbornness got in the way as I automatically replied back with a "Why not?!" A sense of deja vu hit me. Didn't we have a similar conversation before?
"Why do you always ask 'why'? It's getting annoying!" nii-chan yelled at me.
Instead of crying like I usually do, surprisingly, I felt mad. Why do I always get put down by him? I always "lose." Can't I "win" for once? Nii-chan didn't have to scream at me like that!
I did my best to glare at him and covered my ears, taunting him by repeating some why's. Though I stopped when I heard him telling me to shut up and threatening me that if I continued doing that, he would never let me go to Yuma-nii's house.
I felt tears of frustration coming out of my eyes as my vision grew blurry. "Why won't you let me? I don't understand!" I blurted out with my voice cracking.
"Because I like you!!!!"
At that time, I couldn't even interpret those words or let them sink in. "What do you mean?! I don't understand you at all!" I cried out, feeling confused all over. I didn't know how much I could take this. All the feelings I had been harboring all these times... since nii-chan distanced himself away from me.
But then all of a sudden... in a blink of an eye after he answered, "I mean this", my back was against the door with nii-chan k-kissing... m-me... I wasn't sure how to react. Or what to do exactly. It just felt... nice and right. Just like in my dream. It was like eating fluffy cotton candy with the sweetness melting in my mouth. There were butterflies in my tummy fluttering around with their tiny wings, my arms getting warmer from nii-chan's heat, my cheeks burning gradually, and my heart pounding softly but somehow I could manage to hear it. Along the way, I got caught up in the feeling and responded subconsciously. I didn't know what to do yet somehow my instincts guided me.
Nii-chan loosened his hold on me and became so... gentle with me. I couldn't keep track of how many times nii-chan kissed me but I wanted him to keep doing it...
After who knows how long, nii-chan pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. All I could hear were our breaths. I closed my eyes, letting my senses take over. "Nii-chan..." I murmured sheepishly. He opened his eyes half-way and looked at me. I was in a daze but I realized the answer... to all my confusion. "I... I..."
But before I could tell him, he pushed me away and I had no idea why. My heart fell as nii-chan left me alone, hanging. A slam was heard, too.
Just when I thought I understood him and solved my confusion...
Author: Jen
Pairing: RyuShin (Ryutaro x Shintaro)
Genre: Fluff, Romance, & Angst
Rating: PG
Words: 1574
Summary: Ryutaro hits puberty and realizes that his affection for his younger brother isn't so brotherly.
Notes: Whee~ Next chappy now! LOL I think I shall post every 2 days now. xP Last chappy will be on Shintaro's b-day. Yush, I like to plan like that. xPPP
And things get heated up in this chap. xDDD I always love Shintaro's POV, he makes things all cuter. xP
Comments are really appreciated~!!!
Previous: Chappy 1, Chappy 1.5, Chappy 2, Chappy 3, Chappy 4
Ryutaro's POV
"Umm... I'm sorry for what I did the other day... going to Yuma-nii's house without telling you or leaving a note..." Shintaro apologized with his head facing down to me the next day.
I had the urge to reach out for him and hug him, telling him that it was okay. Though it was not okay. Not when it came to Nakayama. I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.
"And so... I was wondering..." Shintaro was fidgeting with his fingers and I was getting a bad feeling about this. "If... I could go to his house today..." he added with a small voice.
Why did he sound like I was going to hit him or something? Or that he was scared of me? I'm reasonable, right? My mind flashed back to yesterday. I admit, I probably did scare him that day. I guess I will... this once... Just when I was about to tell him 'sure' out of my own free will, I heard myself say, "No." And it's not like I could stuff the words back into my mouth. Something in me wouldn't let me either. Probably my pride...
"Why not?!" Shintaro exclaimed, looking at me as if I was crazy.
And deja vu washed over me once again at this conversation but at the moment, my pent up frustration started to leak out. I couldn't hold any more inside. It seemed that yesterday... I didn't let it all out. "Why do you always ask 'why'? It's getting annoying!" My voice grew louder with each word.
Shintaro stared at me with cold eyes and then covered his ears. "Why why why why why why why," he kept on chanting. I knew he was doing on purpose to poke at me. I was not amused at all and my irritation was starting to show its ugly features.
"Shut up!" I yelled at him. "If you keep doing that, I'll never let you go to his house!!!" I retorted over his repeats.
Apparently he heard me since Shintaro closed his mouth, like he was thinking of some witty comment to counter back. "Why won't you let me? I don't understand!" Shintaro cried out with watery eyes. His mouth was quivering and his voice was breaking.
I felt my resolve crumbling along with my heart. Why was I the one making him cry so much and causing him pain? I don't want to do that anymore. "Because I like you!!!" I blurted out in the heat of the moment.
"What do you mean?! I don't understand you at all!"
"I mean this." And then in a matter of seconds, I found myself kissing Shintaro hard, his arms pinned against the door. Surprisingly, there was no resistance. Instead, I could feel Shintaro responding as I loosened my grip on him. My heart beat faster and I felt tingly all over my body especially with the butterflies growing in my stomach. Somehow, my lips ended up being pressed gently against his, brushing every so often at different angles. My hands were cupping Shintaro's cheeks as I inhaled his familiar scent.
Finally, we parted so we could catch our breaths. I heard his irregular breathing and saw his pink chubby cheeks glowing. I smiled and leaned my forehead against Shintaro's smaller one. I closed my eyes, embracing this moment.
"Nii-chan..." Shintaro whispered my name softly. I fluttered my eyes open to look at him. "I... I..." he started. His eyes were full of confusion and something else... that shouldn't have been there. I should've been happy but a dreaded feeling came over... eating me slowly.
This wasn't supposed to happen... at all. Shintaro wasn't supposed to know I liked him more than a brother. I wasn't supposed to kiss him desperately like that... because this is all wrong. I shouldn't be doing this.
I abruptly backed up and pushed Shintaro away, ignoring his reaction. I left without any word and went to my own room, effectively locking the door. I leaned against it with my face in my palm and slid down.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked myself, knowing that no one would be able to answer except for myself.
The emptied bottle of frustration just filled up again.
~~~
Shintaro's POV
I was on my bed, awake. But... for some reason nii-chan was there, too. And the next thing I knew, he was hovering over me like yesterday with those eyes... I didn't know why I did it, but I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down. My heart was beating like crazy yet telling me that... this was right. What was right?
Nii-chan didn't say a word, but continued staring at me. What did he want? I wanted to know... What happened next surprised me. I had lightly placed my mouth on his briefly. D-did I just kiss nii-chan? I didn't mean to do that yet why did I feel so confident in doing so? What does this mean?
I looked up to see nii-chan's reaction. He was smiling at me tenderly, making me feel warm inside. He cupped my chin and murmured, "Shintaro..." before leaning down... closer and closer... All I knew was that I wanted him to kiss me...
PLOP! I rolled off my bed and landed on the ground. As the pain started to go away, I rubbed my eyes. It was a dream, after all? The events from yesterday appeared in my head... I still didn't get what this all meant. Somewhere, I heard that dreams were a form of what you really wanted... was that what I wanted from nii-chan? I ruffled up my own hair out of confusion and pouted.
Who could I ask...? And the first thought that came to mind was Yuma-nii. But last time, nii-chan got mad at me... though what came after was...
I got up and went to nii-chan's room. He was already awake and I found myself inside, apologizing. "Umm... I'm sorry for what I did the other day... going to Yuma-nii's house without telling you or leaving a note..." I had to admit... that was wrong of me to do that... worrying nii-chan like that... I couldn't look at him in the face, scared to see his reaction. But I needed someone to rant this to... I couldn't keep it in... and for all I know, nii-chan could find out and I don't want him to... I think.
Nii-chan looked at me, thinking about what I said. For a second, I actually thought that he would let me go but what came out of his mouth was a firm, "No."
Of course, my stubbornness got in the way as I automatically replied back with a "Why not?!" A sense of deja vu hit me. Didn't we have a similar conversation before?
"Why do you always ask 'why'? It's getting annoying!" nii-chan yelled at me.
Instead of crying like I usually do, surprisingly, I felt mad. Why do I always get put down by him? I always "lose." Can't I "win" for once? Nii-chan didn't have to scream at me like that!
I did my best to glare at him and covered my ears, taunting him by repeating some why's. Though I stopped when I heard him telling me to shut up and threatening me that if I continued doing that, he would never let me go to Yuma-nii's house.
I felt tears of frustration coming out of my eyes as my vision grew blurry. "Why won't you let me? I don't understand!" I blurted out with my voice cracking.
"Because I like you!!!!"
At that time, I couldn't even interpret those words or let them sink in. "What do you mean?! I don't understand you at all!" I cried out, feeling confused all over. I didn't know how much I could take this. All the feelings I had been harboring all these times... since nii-chan distanced himself away from me.
But then all of a sudden... in a blink of an eye after he answered, "I mean this", my back was against the door with nii-chan k-kissing... m-me... I wasn't sure how to react. Or what to do exactly. It just felt... nice and right. Just like in my dream. It was like eating fluffy cotton candy with the sweetness melting in my mouth. There were butterflies in my tummy fluttering around with their tiny wings, my arms getting warmer from nii-chan's heat, my cheeks burning gradually, and my heart pounding softly but somehow I could manage to hear it. Along the way, I got caught up in the feeling and responded subconsciously. I didn't know what to do yet somehow my instincts guided me.
Nii-chan loosened his hold on me and became so... gentle with me. I couldn't keep track of how many times nii-chan kissed me but I wanted him to keep doing it...
After who knows how long, nii-chan pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. All I could hear were our breaths. I closed my eyes, letting my senses take over. "Nii-chan..." I murmured sheepishly. He opened his eyes half-way and looked at me. I was in a daze but I realized the answer... to all my confusion. "I... I..."
But before I could tell him, he pushed me away and I had no idea why. My heart fell as nii-chan left me alone, hanging. A slam was heard, too.
Just when I thought I understood him and solved my confusion...