Heat, Baths, Books, Lavender, and Music Festivals.
Today it is stiflingly hot in Britain. Earlestown has been bustling with life these last two days; the markets have been in full swing and it seems like pretty much everybody in town has been out and about to catch the sun while it lasts.
As for me, I've been in work, listening to the kids laughing at the Punch and Judy shows right outside the shop door, or the town crier ringing his bell. Yeah, we break out our town crier in the summer, apparently! I didn't even know they were still a thing.
Today, though, it's clouding over and I'm sure I heard some thunder earlier. That would be nice; some thunder to clear the air.
I've just emerged from three days in which I worked a total of eighteen hours. Four today, eight yesterday, six the day before. I know a lot of people would scoff at that, but I'm not used to it, and I am knackered. I worked delivery on Thursday for six hours, which involves a lot of heavy lifting and running back and forth, often at the same time. Clocked up 20000 steps, nearly nine miles. Friday was five hours on the tills, then three hours delivery - another 20k steps, nine more miles. Today wasn't so bad; only four hours on the tills and I was kept at a checkout most of the time so at least I got to sit down. But still, ow! My legs!
That being said, I was still all over the place. Because I've been trained up in ALL THE THINGS, I was on a till, then at the help desk covering the supervisor, then running for customer orders, then dispensing change...
First thing I did when I got back was make myself the Ultimate Bath of Relaxation. That's capitalised for a reason; I have a particular formula and it's one I use quite often:
It feels nice to have regained my interest in books. It's been a long time since I found myself so immersed in a book that I had to force myself away to do routine things like feed myself or clean around the house. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
I'm thinking of revisiting some of my favourite books this year. It's really weird - I thought that I might seek solace in them when things were at their worst, but I didn't. There was the obvious loss of interest in anything to blame, but also a strange apprehension at the thought of reading something that I came to love when I was well, before the depression and anxiety kicked in properly. Perhaps I was worried that I'd realise how far I'd fallen, I don't know. It's an odd feeling that I can't name or describe.
Speaking of depression and anxiety, my last ever MindMatters appointment is on Monday. It's scary, but at the same time I know that I'm going to have to go it alone at some point, apply the skills I've learned. Thankfully, SilverCloud (the online CBT service I wrote about) will still be accessible if ever I'm struggling or just need to consolidate my skills. I can ease myself off of citalopram when I feel ready, and there's always my GP or a bunch of hotline numbers for if things get dire. But I'm hoping that I'll be able to maintain the mental resilience I need to stay on my feet.
After my bath today I repotted some English lavender that I've been growing from seed in the back garden. I didn't think it would make it after the rats escaped one night and devoured half of the seedlings in their tray on my window-ledge, but nine of the tiny plants did and by today they've begun to resemble actual lavender, with long, silvery, fragrant leaves. I already have two established Franch lavender plants in big planters that are in bloom right now. The flowers are large, gorgeous dark purple. My hope is that I can get over my fear of vandalism, and put them at the front of the house where they can look nice and inviting and, most importantly, get more sun.
Tomorrow, I'm going to a free music festival! In St Helens every year there's an event called the Westfield Street Music Festival, where live bands do the rounds of all the pubs around that street for most of the afternoon and evening. It's going to be fun! I'm meeting up with a couple of work colleagues (mum and daughter) and their family.
Ooh, and before I go, speaking of music festivals - you know how I wrote about winning tickets to HRH Prog 4, the one I went to in March? Well, they ran their competition for HRH Prog 5 next March, I entered... and I won.
So I have a weekend pass to HRH Prog 5 next March! I can't wait!
As for me, I've been in work, listening to the kids laughing at the Punch and Judy shows right outside the shop door, or the town crier ringing his bell. Yeah, we break out our town crier in the summer, apparently! I didn't even know they were still a thing.
Today, though, it's clouding over and I'm sure I heard some thunder earlier. That would be nice; some thunder to clear the air.
I've just emerged from three days in which I worked a total of eighteen hours. Four today, eight yesterday, six the day before. I know a lot of people would scoff at that, but I'm not used to it, and I am knackered. I worked delivery on Thursday for six hours, which involves a lot of heavy lifting and running back and forth, often at the same time. Clocked up 20000 steps, nearly nine miles. Friday was five hours on the tills, then three hours delivery - another 20k steps, nine more miles. Today wasn't so bad; only four hours on the tills and I was kept at a checkout most of the time so at least I got to sit down. But still, ow! My legs!
That being said, I was still all over the place. Because I've been trained up in ALL THE THINGS, I was on a till, then at the help desk covering the supervisor, then running for customer orders, then dispensing change...
First thing I did when I got back was make myself the Ultimate Bath of Relaxation. That's capitalised for a reason; I have a particular formula and it's one I use quite often:
- First, steep 6 camomile teabags in one litre of boiling water. Let it sit for about 20 mins.
- Optional step: put on a face mask! Leave this on until you've finished in the bath.
- Start to run a bath! While the bath is running, add two generous handfuls of Radox Muscle Soak Bath Therapy. This is literally the only Radox product that I'm not allergic to.
- Mix the bath salts in, and then pour the camomile tea in. I like to pour it slowly, in a figure of eight. It's entirely better that way. Plus, the blue of the bath salts and the gold of the tea turn the water a kick-ass shade of green.
- When you've reached your desired temperature and water level, add ten drops of lavender essential oil. But I tend to go crazy sometimes and add as much as twenty because I'm a bathtime maverick who sticks to no rules.
- When I have them to hand, I will then light as many candles as my bathroom surfaces will safely allow, and an incense stick too. Sometimes I'll just lay in the bath and watch my thoughts go by; sometimes I read. Afterwards, I feel luminous.
- Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett
- Wild - Cheryl Strayed
- Siddhartha - Herman Hesse
- Divergent - Veronica Roth
- The Strange Library - Haruki Murakami
- The Carpet People - Terry Pratchett
- The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly - Sun-Mi Hwang
- The Best Book in the World - Peter Stjernström
- Rat Queens, Vol. 2 and 3 - Kurtis J. Weibe, Roc Upchurch, Tess Fowler, Stjepan Sejic, Tamra Bonvillain, Ed Brisson
- After the Quake - Haruki Murakami
- Summoner - Taran Matharu
- Flames of Auriel - Erin Bedford
- Self-Editing on a Penny - Ashlyn Forge
- Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
- Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz
- Ash - Malinda Lo
It feels nice to have regained my interest in books. It's been a long time since I found myself so immersed in a book that I had to force myself away to do routine things like feed myself or clean around the house. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
I'm thinking of revisiting some of my favourite books this year. It's really weird - I thought that I might seek solace in them when things were at their worst, but I didn't. There was the obvious loss of interest in anything to blame, but also a strange apprehension at the thought of reading something that I came to love when I was well, before the depression and anxiety kicked in properly. Perhaps I was worried that I'd realise how far I'd fallen, I don't know. It's an odd feeling that I can't name or describe.
Speaking of depression and anxiety, my last ever MindMatters appointment is on Monday. It's scary, but at the same time I know that I'm going to have to go it alone at some point, apply the skills I've learned. Thankfully, SilverCloud (the online CBT service I wrote about) will still be accessible if ever I'm struggling or just need to consolidate my skills. I can ease myself off of citalopram when I feel ready, and there's always my GP or a bunch of hotline numbers for if things get dire. But I'm hoping that I'll be able to maintain the mental resilience I need to stay on my feet.
After my bath today I repotted some English lavender that I've been growing from seed in the back garden. I didn't think it would make it after the rats escaped one night and devoured half of the seedlings in their tray on my window-ledge, but nine of the tiny plants did and by today they've begun to resemble actual lavender, with long, silvery, fragrant leaves. I already have two established Franch lavender plants in big planters that are in bloom right now. The flowers are large, gorgeous dark purple. My hope is that I can get over my fear of vandalism, and put them at the front of the house where they can look nice and inviting and, most importantly, get more sun.
Tomorrow, I'm going to a free music festival! In St Helens every year there's an event called the Westfield Street Music Festival, where live bands do the rounds of all the pubs around that street for most of the afternoon and evening. It's going to be fun! I'm meeting up with a couple of work colleagues (mum and daughter) and their family.
Ooh, and before I go, speaking of music festivals - you know how I wrote about winning tickets to HRH Prog 4, the one I went to in March? Well, they ran their competition for HRH Prog 5 next March, I entered... and I won.
So I have a weekend pass to HRH Prog 5 next March! I can't wait!