Feb 04, 2007 13:33
so my last post had a cryptic comment about jealousy. just ignore it.
we 'talked' last night: at 5:30AM because, I'm sorry, I may attempt to be adorable and easy going but I need definition to a relationship of any kind, friendship or more. I just need to know if its 'just a hookup' or 'leading towards something'. I would prefer the latter, but am not against giving the former a try.
so. i drop them off at 4:45, end up calling him at like 5:00 cause its bugging me to not have definition and i get drunken hilarious answers -- basically, not wanting a relationship and obviously assuming i do [correctly] but i can play it cool. so i'm like, then what about friends with benefits? and he gets like freaked the hell out of the idea because obviously no girl has ever said that to him before, so i guess we're going to try that.
and as i was typing this, he called and we just talked about random shit for an hour. for not wanting a relationship, he is pretty attentive.
So we'll see. I guess i'm still just slightly banking on the fact that I don't want to drive into a relationship head first and just want to really get to know him well, which I'm assuming I can do while we're just 'hanging out'. So although I said to him that i'm not... i know i do want this to turn into something more long term. But I will take the blows as they come and if that's not what he wants eventually, i can deal.
i mean, its not like we're dating.