Good news and...*sigh* more bad news
Good news...Scott is finally well and up and about after his surgery. He went back to work on Monday and has been doing fine.
After 3 and half weeks he was finally approved to move in with me...Kinda annoyed me that I had to go into the manager's office with my mom to get anything done. So we've been packing and getting things taken care of. On Wednesday(when we get paid)we'll be paying the pet deposit for his cat Banky(The name from a movie called Chasing Amy...great movie btw). It will be nice to have an animal around again...especially during this hard time.
Which bring to the bad news...If it isn't enough that my cat had to die, my grandpa had to die and so many others people have been dying this year(Actors and people in my community as well).
Last Sunday, I went over to mom and dad's for dinner. They informed me while I was there that my Grandma Ruth had taken a turn for the worse. I thought maybe her lung cancer had returned...but the news didn't hit me very hard that night. She had been acting funny and has had a cough for almost 6 months.
Monday morning rolled around and while I was working, the cogs in my head started turning. "My grandma is going to die...none of her grand kids are married(though 2 have a kid)...she my never see any of marry...oh my god my grandma is dying" I just lost it...I started crying and had to go home at about 10 am(I start at 8am). They were able to view her catscan from a previous doctor appointment and they sent her to the radiation doctor. We all had to wait until Tuesday to hear the news.
Tuesday morning I was a little better..I wasn't crying every 10 mins. I thought I could make it through the day...even though I really wanted to be home. So about 1:30 my dad came to see me(he works at Revenue too)and told me the news. Grandma has 2inch long tumor on her brain. It is putting pressure on her brain and causing a lot of pain. They would do a radiation treatment, but all it will do is slow time down. She will die....I lost it again and had to leave at 2. Even my co-workers were upset for me.
Wednesday I had no energy or will to leave for work, so I stayed home.
They'll be selling her house and my aunt has agreed to have her stay at her house. The realtor came and looked at it today. What makes my angry the most...she could gotten help sooner, but she didn't want to cause she was afraid they would something else wrong. She just too stubborn. It's a trait I've picked up for taking care of myself and I know it hurts others. It hurts me that she does that.
It's a going to be a very hard time for me..so if I seem extra distant or even a little rude I apologize ahead of time.
This year has been really terrible..I feel like "well what's next? who else is going to die? who else am I going to have to mourn?" The only good thing that have come my way is Scott. God I'm crying as I write this...I just all this shit to end...
I think it's time to get back onto anti-depressants
After 3 and half weeks he was finally approved to move in with me...Kinda annoyed me that I had to go into the manager's office with my mom to get anything done. So we've been packing and getting things taken care of. On Wednesday(when we get paid)we'll be paying the pet deposit for his cat Banky(The name from a movie called Chasing Amy...great movie btw). It will be nice to have an animal around again...especially during this hard time.
Which bring to the bad news...If it isn't enough that my cat had to die, my grandpa had to die and so many others people have been dying this year(Actors and people in my community as well).
Last Sunday, I went over to mom and dad's for dinner. They informed me while I was there that my Grandma Ruth had taken a turn for the worse. I thought maybe her lung cancer had returned...but the news didn't hit me very hard that night. She had been acting funny and has had a cough for almost 6 months.
Monday morning rolled around and while I was working, the cogs in my head started turning. "My grandma is going to die...none of her grand kids are married(though 2 have a kid)...she my never see any of marry...oh my god my grandma is dying" I just lost it...I started crying and had to go home at about 10 am(I start at 8am). They were able to view her catscan from a previous doctor appointment and they sent her to the radiation doctor. We all had to wait until Tuesday to hear the news.
Tuesday morning I was a little better..I wasn't crying every 10 mins. I thought I could make it through the day...even though I really wanted to be home. So about 1:30 my dad came to see me(he works at Revenue too)and told me the news. Grandma has 2inch long tumor on her brain. It is putting pressure on her brain and causing a lot of pain. They would do a radiation treatment, but all it will do is slow time down. She will die....I lost it again and had to leave at 2. Even my co-workers were upset for me.
Wednesday I had no energy or will to leave for work, so I stayed home.
They'll be selling her house and my aunt has agreed to have her stay at her house. The realtor came and looked at it today. What makes my angry the most...she could gotten help sooner, but she didn't want to cause she was afraid they would something else wrong. She just too stubborn. It's a trait I've picked up for taking care of myself and I know it hurts others. It hurts me that she does that.
It's a going to be a very hard time for me..so if I seem extra distant or even a little rude I apologize ahead of time.
This year has been really terrible..I feel like "well what's next? who else is going to die? who else am I going to have to mourn?" The only good thing that have come my way is Scott. God I'm crying as I write this...I just all this shit to end...
I think it's time to get back onto anti-depressants