6/Privilege: A chisplanation

[chibidl]

So, I was derping around online doing valid and necessary research on the LJRP community for anthropology class (yep, yep, totally) when I ran across metafandom and of course got sucked in. I was mostly there to look at the topics and find out exactly how one submits articles to be linked, as I'm interested in posting my ethnography (when it is finished) to

Comments

[esotaria]

I feel like I should add that a gentler explanation also doesn't have to be a LONG explanation. Like, I loved your explanation in your journal entry, but part of the reason it worked is that you weren't talking to a specific person -- you were simply pontificating.

RL not sexism example. Remember the whole hoopla with LJ and the transphobic question of the day thing?

Friend: I don't understand why everyone thinks that question is transphobic.
Me: A) Because it made it seem like being trans is the equivalent of being a criminal and B) it implies that transgender people are obligated to tell their partners they're trans.

Friend: Okay, I see that connection and it's just silly. As for B, while I wouldn't say people are obligated to tell their partners they're trans, if you're that close with someone, I think you really should.
Me: Whether or not you're "obligated to disclose your trans status" is a really sensitive issue because a number of people have used that excuse to try and get away with murder. "My girlfriend didn't tell me from the start that he was really a man. When I found out, I was absolutely terrified and ended up killing her" -> trans panic defense.

Friend: Holy shit. ._. I understand the problem now.

(above conversation is not verbatim)

Neither long and complicated nor a slap in the face. Admittedly, this friend is a total sweetheart who genuinely wants to understand why people feel the way they do. Not all people would be that determined to understand. But I do think if people aren't utter douchebags, they'll treat you basically how you treat them, and if you treat their questions seriously, they'll take your answers seriously.

I think that's the last vaguely coherent thing you'll get from me tonight. My English is fading. XD;;;;;;;

[chibidl]

Yeah, I get what you mean. Unfortunately, there's a pretty big difference between that kind of conversation and what most people are saying, as I said in my other comment.

I don't remember the question of the day thing, though, because I honestly avoided the whole oppression issue because I got burned once by some very cruel people (the whole bit about cat macros and ASCII art? That actually happened to me.) and saw the level of passion and anger in the community at large - this was a bit before racefail, but I saw some of that, too - and was like, "nope, I can't hack this." Actually, I will confess that I stopped reading your LJ because there was too much of that stuff in it for me. I should put you back on my default view again. X3;

Anyway, yeah. The only reason I'm having this conversation is because I have been slowly and slightly changed by my wonderful feminist girlfriend, and because I'm the sort of introspective person who must find out all of the reasons why I got burned so as to ensure that it never happens again. That's what led me here in the first place.

[esotaria]

Haha, no worries. I'm kind of weird in that I only get offended when people stop reading my LJ if they make a big announcement about it. "HI KATIE. I'M GOING TO STOP READING YOUR LJ BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND WTF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE." But I don't mind if you just slink off. And you do what you have to do to take care of yourself.

At the moment, I'm not much babbling about my ~issues~ -- it's kind of work/fannish focused at this point. But I'm sure something soon will set me off again.

I'm glad you're having this conversation. ♥ You've given me a lot to think about (when I'm more awake).

[chibidl]

OH WAIT I HAD A POINT BUT I THINK I FORGOT IT.

It might have been that my experiences tell me that smacking people around is the normal way to handle ignorance when it comes to these things.

Or it might've been that it worked for me.

Or. It might have been that "YEAH, BEING SMACKED AROUND REALLY SUCKS LET'S TRY NOT TO DO IT TO OTHER PEOPLE."

Seriously, I forget. WTF.

[esotaria]

LOL ♥