meh.
i don't have a clue how i'm going to manage to pass level 2 in june, but i simply cannot fail.
i woke up today with a plan to study 12 hours. i knew that this was virtually impossible, but i figured i'd motivate myself. i was wrong. i'm not sure what i'm doing with my life anymore. this year has been hard and i don't know if i have the wherewithal i thought i did.
all i know is that i cannot fail, but i'm not sure why anymore.
i miss a lot of people and i'm not sure why they went out of my life. i don't know if it's me --- something i did or didn't do, i'm just not sure.
i know that this is a low right now.
i'm temperamental, moody, and frankly...somewhat depressed. i know that these are the sacrifices you make for brighter days ahead, but somehow i feel ushered into a situation that is too big for me. but i know i can do it, and i know that the people who are here for me now, in my worst moments, are going to be the ones i'll have undying loyalty to. all i want is some reason and some direction. i am somewhat confused, but i've always had doubt.
it brings me back to the quote i read from nelson mandela - "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful without measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you NOT to be?" this is inspires me in many ways and i think this will help me make the decisions i've yet to make.
i will do the right thing and i know that eventually i will do what's right. the only thing is will i sever the relationships with the people i love in order to do what's best for me? i definitely hope not - that is what i'll fight for.
i woke up today with a plan to study 12 hours. i knew that this was virtually impossible, but i figured i'd motivate myself. i was wrong. i'm not sure what i'm doing with my life anymore. this year has been hard and i don't know if i have the wherewithal i thought i did.
all i know is that i cannot fail, but i'm not sure why anymore.
i miss a lot of people and i'm not sure why they went out of my life. i don't know if it's me --- something i did or didn't do, i'm just not sure.
i know that this is a low right now.
i'm temperamental, moody, and frankly...somewhat depressed. i know that these are the sacrifices you make for brighter days ahead, but somehow i feel ushered into a situation that is too big for me. but i know i can do it, and i know that the people who are here for me now, in my worst moments, are going to be the ones i'll have undying loyalty to. all i want is some reason and some direction. i am somewhat confused, but i've always had doubt.
it brings me back to the quote i read from nelson mandela - "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful without measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you NOT to be?" this is inspires me in many ways and i think this will help me make the decisions i've yet to make.
i will do the right thing and i know that eventually i will do what's right. the only thing is will i sever the relationships with the people i love in order to do what's best for me? i definitely hope not - that is what i'll fight for.