*stifles laugh*
Akira's a little... drunk today. ^____^
HAHAHAHAH.
I thought "The Practice" was playing in Ma's room, but instead it's some 1950's... um... "movie". It's freaking me out... especially freaky is how I honest to god thought it was "The Practice" up until about 15 minutes ago, when they were talking about some guy laughing in the face of torture and then I heard all the melodramatic music... I'm really quite afraid now.
"I can remember... the first year I didn't dress up for Halloween. I was so disappointed when all of the other kids started talking about Trick-or-treating in the past tense, saying it was for little kids and nobody our age did it anymore." Klinger said, grabbing a new box of rubber gloves out of a cabinet.
"Yeah... turning 20 is rough." Hawkeye sighed sympathetically, momentarily slumping over the surgical table before his next patient was brought in.
Klinger ignored him and continued. "So, of course, all the other kids went to this party in town at the Y, but I couldn't go cause all my cousins were over and now that I was too old to go trick-or-treating, I had to take my little cousins out so I could watch THEM get candy, but I couldn't get any because I was too old to go trick-or-treating. An' you know what else? I found out that everybody at the Y wore costumes ANYWAY!"
"And that's it? That's your worst Halloween ever?" Margaret exclaimed. "Come on, Klinger, I thought my story about the pumpkin setting my porch on fire was much better."
"Oh yeah? Well, I neglected to mention that when I got back to my house, my youngest cousin Abdhad threw up Clark bars all over my bed, and my mom blamed it on ME."
"Give it a rest, Klinger. I've got a story that's got both of you beat. And I won't even place it in the same category as Charles' stock market story." BJ announced cheerfully.
Charles sighed. "Oh, do tell, Hunnicutt. I yearn so to hear a story that doesn't involve shrieking women named Elouise beating at flames with leather panty girdles and Lebanese children vomiting."
Hawkeye smirked. "Okay, Beej. Spill it. What was your worst Halloween ever? Besides this one, anyway."
"Aww, we coulda counted this one?" Klinger groaned. "Thanks for telling me now."
"This'll STILL top it, Klinger." BJ sighed. "It was exactly 3 years ago tonight. Peg and I had hit a rough spot in our relationship, and we had the worst fight you can imagine. It was over something really stupid, of course. The big ones always are... coffee grounds on the counter or something. When I say something stupid, I mean something really stupid.
"So, anyway, it was a typical California autumn day. Still warm enough to go to the beach, but cold as hell at night. We weren't speaking to each other, and at about 4:00, the kids started coming to the door. I still remember the way we'd both look at the door at the same time, and we'd accidentally make eye contact and then look away real quick... and finally she'd get the door and put on that fake happy voice of hers and say, 'Happy Halloween, kids. Don't stay out too late, your mothers will worry.' And the second she shut the door, she'd sit right back down in that chair, reading her magazine and pretending like I wasn't there.
"Anyway, finally I'd had enough of it, and I went upstairs and found the stupidest, most unbelievably awful outfit I could find. Gym shorts, a pinstriped jacket, one of her hats, and I just went back down to the living room and sat down like nothing had changed. I remember she didn't look up for the longest time, and then when she did, she did a double-take and just gawked at me for the longest time. I looked up, and didn't say a word, just looked at her like she was crazy.
"So you know what she does? She got up, and SHE went upstairs and came back down in an outfit that was twice as ridiculous and did the same thing I did. So I went back upstairs, and found something even more ridiculous, and... I think we did that for about an hour, each of us just trying our damndest to throw the other off.
"Of course, by the time it got to be around dinnertime, our bedroom was a complete trainwreck and we were wearing each others' sunday best upside down and backwards and we both had underwear on our head, and of course then, the doorbell rang. Peg got this look in her eyes as if she suddenly realized what she was doing, and she got totally still and refused to answer the door.
"Finally I said, 'Peggy dear, aren't you going to answer that?' And what was she to do but answer it? I just wanted to see the look on the kids' face when they saw her, so I jumped up and stood behind her, and of COURSE, standing right there with the most shocked look on their faces were her parents! They still had their doubts about whether or not I was good enough for their little girl, and let's just say that night made a lasting impression... but not the kind I'd been hoping for."
Everyone in the OR groaned and laughed accordingly, making little comments about how embarrassing it had to be. They revelled in it for a time, each one forgetting about the Halloween at hand, which would surely go down in each of their respective histories as "The worst Halloween ever".
A Halloween where everyone wore masks and gowns, and put their minds in another place and time to keep from screaming.
***
FIN
HAHAHAHAH.
I thought "The Practice" was playing in Ma's room, but instead it's some 1950's... um... "movie". It's freaking me out... especially freaky is how I honest to god thought it was "The Practice" up until about 15 minutes ago, when they were talking about some guy laughing in the face of torture and then I heard all the melodramatic music... I'm really quite afraid now.
"I can remember... the first year I didn't dress up for Halloween. I was so disappointed when all of the other kids started talking about Trick-or-treating in the past tense, saying it was for little kids and nobody our age did it anymore." Klinger said, grabbing a new box of rubber gloves out of a cabinet.
"Yeah... turning 20 is rough." Hawkeye sighed sympathetically, momentarily slumping over the surgical table before his next patient was brought in.
Klinger ignored him and continued. "So, of course, all the other kids went to this party in town at the Y, but I couldn't go cause all my cousins were over and now that I was too old to go trick-or-treating, I had to take my little cousins out so I could watch THEM get candy, but I couldn't get any because I was too old to go trick-or-treating. An' you know what else? I found out that everybody at the Y wore costumes ANYWAY!"
"And that's it? That's your worst Halloween ever?" Margaret exclaimed. "Come on, Klinger, I thought my story about the pumpkin setting my porch on fire was much better."
"Oh yeah? Well, I neglected to mention that when I got back to my house, my youngest cousin Abdhad threw up Clark bars all over my bed, and my mom blamed it on ME."
"Give it a rest, Klinger. I've got a story that's got both of you beat. And I won't even place it in the same category as Charles' stock market story." BJ announced cheerfully.
Charles sighed. "Oh, do tell, Hunnicutt. I yearn so to hear a story that doesn't involve shrieking women named Elouise beating at flames with leather panty girdles and Lebanese children vomiting."
Hawkeye smirked. "Okay, Beej. Spill it. What was your worst Halloween ever? Besides this one, anyway."
"Aww, we coulda counted this one?" Klinger groaned. "Thanks for telling me now."
"This'll STILL top it, Klinger." BJ sighed. "It was exactly 3 years ago tonight. Peg and I had hit a rough spot in our relationship, and we had the worst fight you can imagine. It was over something really stupid, of course. The big ones always are... coffee grounds on the counter or something. When I say something stupid, I mean something really stupid.
"So, anyway, it was a typical California autumn day. Still warm enough to go to the beach, but cold as hell at night. We weren't speaking to each other, and at about 4:00, the kids started coming to the door. I still remember the way we'd both look at the door at the same time, and we'd accidentally make eye contact and then look away real quick... and finally she'd get the door and put on that fake happy voice of hers and say, 'Happy Halloween, kids. Don't stay out too late, your mothers will worry.' And the second she shut the door, she'd sit right back down in that chair, reading her magazine and pretending like I wasn't there.
"Anyway, finally I'd had enough of it, and I went upstairs and found the stupidest, most unbelievably awful outfit I could find. Gym shorts, a pinstriped jacket, one of her hats, and I just went back down to the living room and sat down like nothing had changed. I remember she didn't look up for the longest time, and then when she did, she did a double-take and just gawked at me for the longest time. I looked up, and didn't say a word, just looked at her like she was crazy.
"So you know what she does? She got up, and SHE went upstairs and came back down in an outfit that was twice as ridiculous and did the same thing I did. So I went back upstairs, and found something even more ridiculous, and... I think we did that for about an hour, each of us just trying our damndest to throw the other off.
"Of course, by the time it got to be around dinnertime, our bedroom was a complete trainwreck and we were wearing each others' sunday best upside down and backwards and we both had underwear on our head, and of course then, the doorbell rang. Peg got this look in her eyes as if she suddenly realized what she was doing, and she got totally still and refused to answer the door.
"Finally I said, 'Peggy dear, aren't you going to answer that?' And what was she to do but answer it? I just wanted to see the look on the kids' face when they saw her, so I jumped up and stood behind her, and of COURSE, standing right there with the most shocked look on their faces were her parents! They still had their doubts about whether or not I was good enough for their little girl, and let's just say that night made a lasting impression... but not the kind I'd been hoping for."
Everyone in the OR groaned and laughed accordingly, making little comments about how embarrassing it had to be. They revelled in it for a time, each one forgetting about the Halloween at hand, which would surely go down in each of their respective histories as "The worst Halloween ever".
A Halloween where everyone wore masks and gowns, and put their minds in another place and time to keep from screaming.
***
FIN