Anon stuff

[chibi_plum]

I want to make a post about work stuff, but I'm in meetings for most of the day ~ so this will have to do for now.

I never really expect people to reply to these because they actually take work. XD But, I guess with so many people on my flist - I will give it another try. If you can spare a moment, please leave me a message:

Leave me an

Comments

[anonymous]

I really admire you, but sometimes that really does hurt. Partly because it hurts hearing whenever anything bad has happened in your life, and as someone who considers you a dear friend I can't bear that, because you deserve so much better. The more selfish side is that I'm jealous of the good things - as detestable as that is - and that I know you're a far better person than I, especially in the way you handle yourself and those situations. You allow those things to make you stronger, you learn from them, whilst I sit and wallow and take so long to learn the lesson that the point becomes almost completely moot.

It hurts more because you always encourage me and offer words and acknowledgement whether I earn them or not, and I know that you truly care, which almost breaks my heart sometimes when I then read your journal when I've been too busy to get online and find that something's happened and I haven't been there for you. As your friend, I love you, and I want to help you, but I'm so far away that there's nothing I can do.

I worry a lot that I'm bothering you with either my entries on your flist - because, let's face it, they're really quite pointless most of the time - or my comments on your journal - because I always ramble and I'm sure I almost never say the right thing, although you're too lovely to tell me so. But having got to know you (at least, as much as I have) I don't think I could just shut up and go anyway, because even if I'm useless (which I'm sure you'd say I'm not), and even though it probably doesn't affect you either way really (despite the way you make me believe it does), and even though so often I can't stand myself (although whenever I've expressed this you've always tried to make me believe better of myself), and even though I seriously doubt we'll ever meet in person, I want you to know that you're a dear friend to me, I care so much it damn near burns.

[chibi_plum]

I'm not exactly sure who this is, but I'm bawling like a baby. Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm certain that anyone with the thoughtfulness to write what you did is someone that should not be directing such negativity at himself/herself. I feel so useless when it comes to the friends that I cannot physically be there for, so it means a lot to me that anything I have ever said came across to you in such a way that you felt comforted.

I'm not really as strong as I pretend to be online. I just know that a lot of my friends don't want to hear negative rants or some unstable post where I just complain about myself. Don't get me wrong, writing about it helps sometimes... but I feel much better encouraging people than I do talking about myself, at least from a personal standpoint.

I have my fair share of weak moments, and I've been lucky enough to have someone close by who loves me get through those emotional episodes, but I wonder what would happen if Chris wasn't here to help me sort the issues I am unable to handle alone. It's because I have someone here with me that I feel as though I have no right to complain or boo hoo all over my journal.

But, I will say that for those on my f-list that I actually make the time to comment, they mean a lot to me... so you must be one of them. Thank you again. *sniffles*