Stop this train
Last night was pretty bad.
I got home and sat in the dark for like...hmmm idk 3 hours? I had the tv on but i wasnt really watching it. I just walked into the apartment at 5:10 and sat on the couch until almost 8:30 just looking at the wall. It got a little hard to see things so i eventually turned on a light.
Im not trying to scare anyone but again, I dont feel like people really think im that depressed. For the most part i am happy around my parents and whenever im with people hanging out or at work, i will laugh and smile.
On the inside im dying.
I dont know if people think im overreacting or just being dramatic or what.
Yesterday i was talking to rob and i said, "well ok time to go sit in the dark and cry" and he just says, "lol" Im not fucking joking around.
Sad thing is, i cant even cry anymore. I think in the last maybe month- month and a half, ive shed maybe 2 tears. I just dont feel like putting forth the effort to even cry really will help. So instead i sit and feel horrible. I just dont think people fucking get it or really care. I shouldnt expect them to really care though anyway...as ive lost faith in the whole human race.
The last week or two i thought were getting better, for the most part. But then yesterday was really bad.
Eh w.e
Went on wow last night a bit later to feel somewhat productive. Got teaki to 58 and moved her to outlands. got halfway to 59 but then logged because i was getting ganked so much.
After wow i went back to the couch and watched tv until kyle got home.
Then went to bed.
so exciting.