Hugs. I don't like the temple either. At all. Even before I went inactive I hated attending. It's weird and I never get anything out of it and it just seems like such a waste of time. So I'm not sad I don't go anymore.
I do miss church. I miss being a good person - I felt like I was good when I was active. I feel like when I'm doing church things that I'm supposed to do, I am in an okay place mentally/emotionally. When I'm not doing what I am supposed to, no amount of antidepressants can help me.
I have been inactive for almost a year now because of a major issue with my bishopric. I hope to be able to go back to church once our ward splits but with my luck the guy I have the biggest issue with will become the new bishop. So excited for that. Nate and Toby still attend, though, and I'm glad. I want Toby to have the gospel as a foundation in his life. He's so much more spiritual than I ever was at his age. It's crazy.
I don't necessarily feel pressured or anything as a member of the church. I know my limitations and if God wanted me to be able to do certain things He shouldn't have given me those limitations. So there's that.
But I also agree that there are several paths to truth and happiness. I hate the Mormon "ONE TRUE WAY" philosophy. My best friend is nondenominational Christian. She will never convert to Mormonism. She is the best person I have ever met. I don't believe God would keep her out of heaven because she didn't get dunked. I was called as ward missionary two years ago and I was terrible at it. I don't want to bother people and try to convert them. Especially when you live in Utah, if you want to know about the church there are opportunities everywhere. We don't need to harass neighbors to get them to come to church. Yuck.
I also struggle because I'm transgender. Although I'm happy now, I do wish I could have transitioned to male. The fact that the church says that's the worst thing ever makes me really upset. If it's the worst thing ever then why did God give us these feelings?
I don't know. I want to be LDS again because I want to be happy again. But at the same time, it's a lot of hard work and a lot of being judged and a lot of shenanigans and nonsense. So I don't know. And church members can be so hypocritical - my dad shamed the crap out of me for not being married in the temple, yet he stole $232,000 from the government and continued working in the temple. What? Not okay.
The gospel is beautiful. The people make it hard. The way it's set up makes it hard. I hope I can figure it out.
But even if I do, I'll never like the temple. And I too HATE garments. HATE THEM SO MUCH. I almost left the church the whole first year because they were so awful. I've finally become used to them but I still don't love them. Gack.
I told my grandma how much I hated the temple and how it never made me feel at peace or close to God and she said "it sounds like you need to attend more often.' GAHHH.
Anyway. It's hard to be Mormon. I support you in whatever you choose. What does Mark think about this? Is he going to keep going and take the kids?
I do miss church. I miss being a good person - I felt like I was good when I was active. I feel like when I'm doing church things that I'm supposed to do, I am in an okay place mentally/emotionally. When I'm not doing what I am supposed to, no amount of antidepressants can help me.
I have been inactive for almost a year now because of a major issue with my bishopric. I hope to be able to go back to church once our ward splits but with my luck the guy I have the biggest issue with will become the new bishop. So excited for that. Nate and Toby still attend, though, and I'm glad. I want Toby to have the gospel as a foundation in his life. He's so much more spiritual than I ever was at his age. It's crazy.
I don't necessarily feel pressured or anything as a member of the church. I know my limitations and if God wanted me to be able to do certain things He shouldn't have given me those limitations. So there's that.
But I also agree that there are several paths to truth and happiness. I hate the Mormon "ONE TRUE WAY" philosophy. My best friend is nondenominational Christian. She will never convert to Mormonism. She is the best person I have ever met. I don't believe God would keep her out of heaven because she didn't get dunked. I was called as ward missionary two years ago and I was terrible at it. I don't want to bother people and try to convert them. Especially when you live in Utah, if you want to know about the church there are opportunities everywhere. We don't need to harass neighbors to get them to come to church. Yuck.
I also struggle because I'm transgender. Although I'm happy now, I do wish I could have transitioned to male. The fact that the church says that's the worst thing ever makes me really upset. If it's the worst thing ever then why did God give us these feelings?
I don't know. I want to be LDS again because I want to be happy again. But at the same time, it's a lot of hard work and a lot of being judged and a lot of shenanigans and nonsense. So I don't know. And church members can be so hypocritical - my dad shamed the crap out of me for not being married in the temple, yet he stole $232,000 from the government and continued working in the temple. What? Not okay.
The gospel is beautiful. The people make it hard. The way it's set up makes it hard. I hope I can figure it out.
But even if I do, I'll never like the temple. And I too HATE garments. HATE THEM SO MUCH. I almost left the church the whole first year because they were so awful. I've finally become used to them but I still don't love them. Gack.
I told my grandma how much I hated the temple and how it never made me feel at peace or close to God and she said "it sounds like you need to attend more often.' GAHHH.
Anyway. It's hard to be Mormon. I support you in whatever you choose. What does Mark think about this? Is he going to keep going and take the kids?
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