Nobody's going to read this (and if they do not like it), but whatever.
I’m angry.
I’m really angry.
And this is going to turn in to one of those pissed off girl geek editorials but I really don’t give a shit right now.
Girls come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and flavors. Nerd girls are no exception to this. I have many female friends who hail from different backgrounds, cultures, etc. We are beautiful in our diversity in my opinion. The enthusiastic, overweight Homestucker with the flaking body paint to the cardiobunny in her bra and skirt Pokemon costume. The underfed, flat chested college student with tons of make up on to hide her dark circles. The curvy woman who looks like if she breathes wrong she may just pop out of her corset. These things are part of the convention costuming scene that gets broadcasted over the internet. These are sights I’m used to seeing…it’s not good or bad, it’s just how it is. It’s just how we are.
I see a lot of people in what I do for a living. I also see a lot of naked people. It doesn’t bother me. They all kind of look the same after awhile. Hell, I look at myself naked in the mirror before I shower. I don’t look overweight or underweight, I just look like me. This is a huge improvement from 7 or 8 years ago when I was rail thin and would be disgusted by the sight of myself because I thought I was fat. I was told I wasn’t good enough because I wasn't shaped like the 16 year olds my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with and I believed it. I think these days I’m in a better place.
So, I think you’ll understand my disgust and ire when I get told by men how I should look and what I should do to get there.
Oh yes.
These are men who are still overweight themselves. Some haven’t had a girlfriend in years (GEE I WONDER WHY). Some even find it hard to maintain friendships with women they aren’t pseudo-flirting with.
But…they all can find the gall to comment on my weight.
It’s no secret we in Western society have been thoroughly subjected to image pollution. I wrote a 20 page research paper on video games and violence a year or so ago and in my search for material I found a plethora of studies on body image and media. Very interesting stuff to read. The median measurements of a woman around the world vary a few inches larger than that represented in video games and cartoons. The images targeted at a younger audience usually had a larger head and an almost frail/lithe body, where the images targeted at an audience 16 and older had a more hourglass shape. This was still, however, a few inches smaller in the ‘real life’ proportions comparison to that of the average size of the woman. I don’t think I have the PDF saved or I’d look it up…the hip measurement for that of the mature games was something like a 35 and the average around the globe was something like 41.
Now, surprise surprise the implications of these images cause both men and women to have a distorted image of their own body aesthetics! Men mostly expect women to look like the women represented in media, and women expect their own bodies to unrealistically match those of the images they are being presented with. HMMMMM. We, as geeks, as WOMEN come in all shapes and sizes.
Oh, hey, let's bring some more psychology in to the subject. Who here knows what projection is? It's one of my favorite defense mechanisms our psyches can call forth! THAT being said, the sickly-looking overweight neckbeard who says you look fat in your costume (when bitch you look fabulous) actually is slinging his own insecurities toward you at warp 9 and is hoping that baggage sticks so he won't have to own it until the next time he has a good, hard look at himself in the mirror.
Now, I’ve taken Anatomy and Physiology, Nutrition, and Exercise science and sport classes. I read blogs about what celebrities go through to maintain their underweight BMI’s. I just don’t want to do it. I understand what I need to do to take my BMI down to a 20. And I think their ‘suggestions’ are garbage. I don’t want to go keto, eat 800 calories a day, or juice. And I hate running. I figure I’ll exercise how I like with dance and martial arts and not eat like trash, thanks.
TL;DR - Girls, you are the masters of your identity. If you want to change your body image for whatever reason, go right ahead. If anyone has anything to say about it, I offer you the infinite wisdom of The Dude, “That’s just…like…their opinion man.” And let them have it. But in your heart of hearts, you know what’s right. And you don’t have to take it.
I’m really angry.
And this is going to turn in to one of those pissed off girl geek editorials but I really don’t give a shit right now.
Girls come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and flavors. Nerd girls are no exception to this. I have many female friends who hail from different backgrounds, cultures, etc. We are beautiful in our diversity in my opinion. The enthusiastic, overweight Homestucker with the flaking body paint to the cardiobunny in her bra and skirt Pokemon costume. The underfed, flat chested college student with tons of make up on to hide her dark circles. The curvy woman who looks like if she breathes wrong she may just pop out of her corset. These things are part of the convention costuming scene that gets broadcasted over the internet. These are sights I’m used to seeing…it’s not good or bad, it’s just how it is. It’s just how we are.
I see a lot of people in what I do for a living. I also see a lot of naked people. It doesn’t bother me. They all kind of look the same after awhile. Hell, I look at myself naked in the mirror before I shower. I don’t look overweight or underweight, I just look like me. This is a huge improvement from 7 or 8 years ago when I was rail thin and would be disgusted by the sight of myself because I thought I was fat. I was told I wasn’t good enough because I wasn't shaped like the 16 year olds my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me with and I believed it. I think these days I’m in a better place.
So, I think you’ll understand my disgust and ire when I get told by men how I should look and what I should do to get there.
Oh yes.
These are men who are still overweight themselves. Some haven’t had a girlfriend in years (GEE I WONDER WHY). Some even find it hard to maintain friendships with women they aren’t pseudo-flirting with.
But…they all can find the gall to comment on my weight.
It’s no secret we in Western society have been thoroughly subjected to image pollution. I wrote a 20 page research paper on video games and violence a year or so ago and in my search for material I found a plethora of studies on body image and media. Very interesting stuff to read. The median measurements of a woman around the world vary a few inches larger than that represented in video games and cartoons. The images targeted at a younger audience usually had a larger head and an almost frail/lithe body, where the images targeted at an audience 16 and older had a more hourglass shape. This was still, however, a few inches smaller in the ‘real life’ proportions comparison to that of the average size of the woman. I don’t think I have the PDF saved or I’d look it up…the hip measurement for that of the mature games was something like a 35 and the average around the globe was something like 41.
Now, surprise surprise the implications of these images cause both men and women to have a distorted image of their own body aesthetics! Men mostly expect women to look like the women represented in media, and women expect their own bodies to unrealistically match those of the images they are being presented with. HMMMMM. We, as geeks, as WOMEN come in all shapes and sizes.
Oh, hey, let's bring some more psychology in to the subject. Who here knows what projection is? It's one of my favorite defense mechanisms our psyches can call forth! THAT being said, the sickly-looking overweight neckbeard who says you look fat in your costume (when bitch you look fabulous) actually is slinging his own insecurities toward you at warp 9 and is hoping that baggage sticks so he won't have to own it until the next time he has a good, hard look at himself in the mirror.
Now, I’ve taken Anatomy and Physiology, Nutrition, and Exercise science and sport classes. I read blogs about what celebrities go through to maintain their underweight BMI’s. I just don’t want to do it. I understand what I need to do to take my BMI down to a 20. And I think their ‘suggestions’ are garbage. I don’t want to go keto, eat 800 calories a day, or juice. And I hate running. I figure I’ll exercise how I like with dance and martial arts and not eat like trash, thanks.
TL;DR - Girls, you are the masters of your identity. If you want to change your body image for whatever reason, go right ahead. If anyone has anything to say about it, I offer you the infinite wisdom of The Dude, “That’s just…like…their opinion man.” And let them have it. But in your heart of hearts, you know what’s right. And you don’t have to take it.