Broken Heart
I feel how my heart is breaking into pieces, into really small and tiny pieces... but... i'm smiling... and holding this huge smile in my face, because someone else might need it... I need to be strong, if i'm not strong other people might end sad, which will just make me feel worst. So here I am hiding this freaking feelings, and smiling to the outside world while my heart is so broken, I think... I just won't be able to paste it back this time.
Sometimes I really wish someone notices it... in that "I know you are not fine, stop lying to yourself" and just be hugged and calmed down... t-that people who I tought loved me, well... I don't think that actually ever existed, so that people that i tought pretended to love me, well... they decided to stop pretending and just go away... living me here alone to continue to sink deeper and deeper into this sea of sadness and solitude.
But yes, there is not much I can do right, alas I shall say goodbye with a huge grin in my face.
As I think I once stated, I want to move away from here... In this place I will not be able to find that person that might just hug me and tell me that is ok to show my feelings... or perhaps I'm just an attention whore... which is worst... dammit I don't even know!
Really... I just want someone that actually cares... just that... but no, don't worry, I'll be alright, as long as those who I care for smile, then I'll be fine. I hope that is not selfish.
Sometimes I really wish someone notices it... in that "I know you are not fine, stop lying to yourself" and just be hugged and calmed down... t-that people who I tought loved me, well... I don't think that actually ever existed, so that people that i tought pretended to love me, well... they decided to stop pretending and just go away... living me here alone to continue to sink deeper and deeper into this sea of sadness and solitude.
But yes, there is not much I can do right, alas I shall say goodbye with a huge grin in my face.
As I think I once stated, I want to move away from here... In this place I will not be able to find that person that might just hug me and tell me that is ok to show my feelings... or perhaps I'm just an attention whore... which is worst... dammit I don't even know!
Really... I just want someone that actually cares... just that... but no, don't worry, I'll be alright, as long as those who I care for smile, then I'll be fine. I hope that is not selfish.