A Mood I Haven't Been Before...
I am something like discontent, but I am also happy.
I like everything that I am doing. My classes, my clubs, my jobs, my writing are all enjoyable, rewarding work, but work nonetheless. And, it isn't that it's too much. I've had a lot of work lately, but it's all work I want to do. I'm in the mindset that "Slow and steady wins the race." So, I'm on top of it.
My situation is strange. For the first time in my life I really feel calm and competent. In many ways, this past summer was not what I had hoped. Upon occasion it was wretched, but aside from two major catastrophes, the things that would have wrecked me before didn't touch me. I know what my goals are and I feel like I'm right where I ought to be (I am legitimately writing a short story and my portfolio is coalescing bit by bit). The trouble is, these are long-term goals. They won't see fruition for two to ten years. Excepting the Prism, my cat-rescue plans (Anyone interested...?), and getting my license(if that happens), I don't have a lot to look forward to in the near future. Besides, all those things seem like a continuation of what I have already begun. I crave something completely NEW.
Suddenly, nothing's good enough. What's up with me? Maybe I'm itching to leave school, ready for adventures, but I can't imagine what's out there that I'm missing.
Like I said, I love everything. I just want more to love.
Notes: My brother went to court Friday for shoplifting. I haven't heard from my parents yet about that or the other charges. He'll be 18 in fifteen days. This demands a party.
LARPing this weekend was wicked fun.
Cabell, Emily and I have agreed to try a new restaurant or go out every Friday. All are welcome to join us. This weekend I think it'll be the Muse, then King's Island (or Osaka's). Also, RiverViews on Thursday night.
I like everything that I am doing. My classes, my clubs, my jobs, my writing are all enjoyable, rewarding work, but work nonetheless. And, it isn't that it's too much. I've had a lot of work lately, but it's all work I want to do. I'm in the mindset that "Slow and steady wins the race." So, I'm on top of it.
My situation is strange. For the first time in my life I really feel calm and competent. In many ways, this past summer was not what I had hoped. Upon occasion it was wretched, but aside from two major catastrophes, the things that would have wrecked me before didn't touch me. I know what my goals are and I feel like I'm right where I ought to be (I am legitimately writing a short story and my portfolio is coalescing bit by bit). The trouble is, these are long-term goals. They won't see fruition for two to ten years. Excepting the Prism, my cat-rescue plans (Anyone interested...?), and getting my license(if that happens), I don't have a lot to look forward to in the near future. Besides, all those things seem like a continuation of what I have already begun. I crave something completely NEW.
Suddenly, nothing's good enough. What's up with me? Maybe I'm itching to leave school, ready for adventures, but I can't imagine what's out there that I'm missing.
Like I said, I love everything. I just want more to love.
Notes: My brother went to court Friday for shoplifting. I haven't heard from my parents yet about that or the other charges. He'll be 18 in fifteen days. This demands a party.
LARPing this weekend was wicked fun.
Cabell, Emily and I have agreed to try a new restaurant or go out every Friday. All are welcome to join us. This weekend I think it'll be the Muse, then King's Island (or Osaka's). Also, RiverViews on Thursday night.