{donghae/eunhyuk} prank the master
prank, the master
donghae/eunhyuk, hangeng/heechul | pg
as Donghae returns to Korea with the rest of SJ-M, he and Eunhyuk have more than just one trick up their sleeves. and as their master plan unravels, strange things start to happen in the SuJu dorms…
A/N: My first ever attempt at Hyukhae -- please be kind!
As always, comments are ❤
Prank, the Master
The third time SJ-M came back from China for their mid-term rest, it was well past midnight on a Wednesday. Their flight had been delayed by more than 2 hours, it was hot and stuffy at the airport, and none of the seven boys had the slightest clue why tens upon hundreds of E.L.F fans (or so it seemed to them) still stood, swaying their banners, at this time of night.
When they finally reached their SuJu home, the reception could not have been more different. The hallway was completely empty; all the lights turned off, and faintly stifled snores could be heard from behind closed doors.
Hankyung placed his suitcase flat on the floor, and took off his sunglasses. He stood there, motionless, for a moment. He had the gait of a startled gazelle on the radar for nearby lions.
Then someone flicked a switch. The room suddenly basked in the artificial glow from the hanging electrical lights overhead.
Siwon cleared his throat. “Hyung. Hyung?”
“I’m hungry.” Donghae said loudly, before stretching out onto the carpet, legs spread before him.
Ryeowook immediately ruffled through his rucksack, pulling out a half-eaten packet of Oreo cookies, and handed it over to Donghae, who nodded happily, before taking the lot.
“Yah, Donghae. How can you eat like that?”
Everybody turned around and stared. The snide voice belonged to a lone figure sitting in the dark, crouching in one corner. Heechul was wearing white dressing robes over pink pyjamas, hands grasping a mug of coffee, leaning against a cushion.
“What. Did you see a ghost or something?”
Siwon recovered first, and bounced off happily towards Heechul, “Hyung! You’re awake!”
“I’m not doing this for you, you know.” Heechul said, looking straight at Hankyung, whilst being clobbered by Siwon’s hugs, “I’m just proving my resilience. The others gave up hours ago.”
This comment was met with a wild side-grin from Hankyung, who leant on the arm of the couch, saying quietly, “You missed me, didn’t you?”
Heechul ignored him.
Instead, he gestured towards an immaculately wrapped package sitting on the table, “Someone spent a stupidly long time over that. So you better wash off those crumbs, Donghae, before you open it.”
Donghae swallowed his last cookie, wiped his mouth with one hand, before exclaiming excitedly, “It’s for me?”
“No, Donghae, it’s actually for me. But I’m letting you open it instead.”
Sarcasm was always lost on Donghae, whose bright smile fell instantly, before forcefully bringing himself to be humble, “No, hyung. It’s alright. You can open it.”
Heechul rolled his eyes dramatically, “It’s yours, blockhead.”
His smile returned just as quickly, and Donghae eagerly wiped the crumbs onto the carpet, before running over to pick up the package.
It was heavy, wrapped in several layers of rigid plaster, and oozed a strange scent of burnt toast. Donghae’s name was printed in a large red font and encrusted over the side of the package:
D O N G H A E … [from eunhyuk]
Seeing his friend’s name, Donghae happily tore off the first layer, before coming to sudden standstill. A small white note caught his eye. He steered away from the rest of the members, and hunched around the package, squinting at the note.
HAE,
please open this package in private!
whatever you do, just don’t let the others see --
and welcome back
[sorry if i’m asleep]
HYUK
Excitement rekindled, he carefully unravelled the remaining layers, and peered inside. It was a striped yellow-and-black book, wittily entitled JOKES, PRANKS AND TRICKS for DUMMIES. Giggling to himself, he rewrapped the package, and turned around.
Everybody was staring at him.
“…Well?” Heechul asked expectantly.
“Oh, you’ll see…” was Donghae’s happily enigmatic reply.
---
In the days that followed, Donghae and Eunhyuk went everywhere together, speaking in low whispers, skipping meals and hiding from the other members.
But before anybody noticed anything strange about the duo, an era of the extraordinary had slowly descended upon them.
---
Early Thursday afternoon, just after lunch, Kyuhyun finally managed to corner Heechul.
He was laying on Sungmin’s La-Z-Boy recliner watching Korean dramas with Hankyung, hands in a bowl of popcorn, when Kyuhyun stood in front of the TV, grinning broadly.
“Hyung, remember when you said you’d play StarCraft with me…” he began mischievously.
“Yah, can’t you see I’m busy right now?” Heechul said, feeding Hankyung fistfuls of popcorn.
“But you promised, last time…” Kyuhyun hung his head low, shuffling his feet sadly.
Hankyung chewed at his popcorn, before saying lazily, “Heechul, you should go.”
“What!” Heechul piped up, scattering popcorn all over the Hankyung’s hair, “Don’t you want to eat this?”
“I’m sure I’ll manage fine by myself.”
Heechul stood up, furious, “Alright, Kyuhyun. An hour. That’s all.”
He threw a scathing look at Hankyung as Kyuhyun left the room, “Oh, you’ll be sorry.”
Kyuhyun slotted his CD into the disk-drive of his laptop, and they waited in silence for the onscreen opening credits and that legendary blast of sound. Nothing happened. The screen was completely blank.
After a tense ten seconds or so, Kyuhyun began to fiddle with the mouse anxiously, tapping out random keys in agitation. Then something weird happened.
The word EROTICA flashed boldly across the screen, followed by a montage of nude pictures and videos coupled together against a backdrop of carnal music.
Heechul and Kyuhyun both froze, staring at the screen, open-mouthed in horror.
Just at that moment, Leeteuk burst through the door, holding up that infamous StarCraft disk between two fingers, “Okay, Kyuhyun. Who left this in my laptop?”
He stopped dead at the sounds of muffled sighing, as he caught glimpses of what was on screen, “What.” He said breathlessly. “Are you watching porn?”
---
At 8:37 on Friday morning, the SuJu dorm was just beginning to stir into life. Sleepy heads clad in cotton pyjamas of every colour under the rainbow stepped out in bare feet, drowsily inching their way towards the bathrooms.
Only Ryeowook and Kibum were fully dressed in day clothing; Kibum was sitting at the kitchen table reading the Korea Herald, and Ryeowook was busy fixing a lavish breakfast for his food-deprived hyungs.
Suddenly they heard a deafening yelp from one of the rooms, the clash of doors, and the quick patter of feet against floorboards.
Hankyung burst into the room.
“My face--” He shouted in panic, “I’ve got measles!”
He indeed had angry red marks all across his cheeks, forehead and neck. They refused to disappear even after some livid scratching on Hankyung’s behalf.
Kibum rose quickly from his seat, huddled over to Hankyung and examined his face carefully, holding up his chin towards the light from the window.
“…I don’t think that’s measles, hyung…” Kibum said, slowly, “I think that they’re…kiss marks?”
Hankyung froze. “What? Kiss marks?”
“What was all that racket about?” Heechul had come in, yawning.
They all stared at him, agape.
“What are you looking at me for? He’s the one with the red polka dot face.”
Heechul was wearing thick cherry lipstick, of the exact same shade to the marks on Hankyung’s face.
---
Around the same time that morning, Sungmin was shuffling through his wardrobe, frantically searching for his favourite baby pink BoA tee-shirt. Empty clothes hangers were spread across his bedroom floor, piles of clothes (mostly pink) in mountains on his bed and desk; Sungmin gritted his teeth in exasperation.
Finally, he gave up the hunt. He absentmindedly picked up a blouse from the top of the pile and began to fasten together the buttons. Until he realised that there weren’t any buttons to fasten. The shirt was entirely button-less.
He threw the shirt aside angrily, and picked up another. No buttons.
And another. No buttons, yet again.
By this time, he was steaming with unkempt fury and disbelief. Someone clearly hated him a great deal.
He stormed out of his room, and bumped straight away into a drowsy Kangin.
Kangin, in a pink tee-shirt two dress sizes too small.
“HYUNG! YOU’RE WEARING MY SHIRT!”
Sungmin lost all inhibition all together and leapt at him.
“What the--”
---
At 6:35 am on Saturday, Siwon returned to the dorms after his morning run. His hair was bejewelled with glistening sweat, which underlined his brow line and collar. His shirt was stiff against his body, overstretched against the bulging muscles on his torso.
He tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry. Instead, he made a gagging noise and reached in desperation for the taps.
They wouldn’t turn. He tried again, blaming his hotheadedness for his lack of energy.
But they wouldn’t budge.
Almost crying, he wrenched open the refrigerator door, and fumbled around for a juice carton. Once he found one, he took it out and shook it to testify the juice contents.
Twisting open the lid, he poured the juice straight into his mouth, eyes closed, hanging his mouth open wide.
But what flowed out of the cartoon was not orange juice at all, but a viscous green sludge.
It was thick pea soup.
Siwon choked and spat it out in a torrential jet of green -- straight into the face of Shindong, who was only coming in to sneak an early morning snack.
---
Later that Saturday evening, Ryeowook was busy in the kitchen baking according to a newfound recipe for lemon drizzle. Henry was standing by watching this whole affair intently, and unashamedly ignoring Ryeowook’s hints at him being a nuisance.
“You know, Henry, why don’t you play the violin instead? I always feel that violin music makes the cakes turn out better.”
Henry shook his head, “Nah. Watching you is more fun. Can I help?”
Ryeowook sighed, then patted his hands of flour, “Okay, then. Can you pass me the sugar?”
Henry nodded excitedly, then, seeing the letters S U G A R, in English, written in bold across a container, he confidently picked it up and handed it to Ryeowook.
“Thanks, Henry.”
After 1 hour, the cakes were ready baked and fresh from the oven.
All fifteen members gathered round and inhaled the sweet scent of the risen lemon buns.
Henry, brandishing a knife, was busy dividing the cake into fifteen. He carefully placed each slice upon a napkin into a small plate, eyes never diverting from his work. Ryeowook was standing by, watching proudly, “I give you -- the lemon drizzle.”
All fifteen of them bit into their respective slices simultaneously, anticipating a saccharine tang of baking success.
All fifteen of them retched into their napkins after a few chews, spitting the cake out like canons. Shindong was already glugging at the water fountain, swishing the water around his mouth to rid himself of the taste. Kangin was wiping his tongue onto the back of his hands.
“Yah -- I may not be entirely literate in this whole cake-baking business, Ryeowook,” Heechul exclaimed, flinging his cake aside, “But I’m pretty sure cakes are meant to be sweet, not salty.”
---
That night, Donghae and Eunhyuk congratulated themselves over a bottle of soju.
Eunhyuk downed his in one shot, before pouring himself more.
“That --” he exclaimed drunkenly, “Was quite possibly the best three days of my life.”
Donghae laughed aloud as they clinked their glasses together, “We are total masters.”
They stayed up all night together, watching and re-watching the film footage of their pranks. The secret spy cameras Donghae bought from China had come in useful after all.
donghae/eunhyuk, hangeng/heechul | pg
as Donghae returns to Korea with the rest of SJ-M, he and Eunhyuk have more than just one trick up their sleeves. and as their master plan unravels, strange things start to happen in the SuJu dorms…
A/N: My first ever attempt at Hyukhae -- please be kind!
As always, comments are ❤
Prank, the Master
The third time SJ-M came back from China for their mid-term rest, it was well past midnight on a Wednesday. Their flight had been delayed by more than 2 hours, it was hot and stuffy at the airport, and none of the seven boys had the slightest clue why tens upon hundreds of E.L.F fans (or so it seemed to them) still stood, swaying their banners, at this time of night.
When they finally reached their SuJu home, the reception could not have been more different. The hallway was completely empty; all the lights turned off, and faintly stifled snores could be heard from behind closed doors.
Hankyung placed his suitcase flat on the floor, and took off his sunglasses. He stood there, motionless, for a moment. He had the gait of a startled gazelle on the radar for nearby lions.
Then someone flicked a switch. The room suddenly basked in the artificial glow from the hanging electrical lights overhead.
Siwon cleared his throat. “Hyung. Hyung?”
“I’m hungry.” Donghae said loudly, before stretching out onto the carpet, legs spread before him.
Ryeowook immediately ruffled through his rucksack, pulling out a half-eaten packet of Oreo cookies, and handed it over to Donghae, who nodded happily, before taking the lot.
“Yah, Donghae. How can you eat like that?”
Everybody turned around and stared. The snide voice belonged to a lone figure sitting in the dark, crouching in one corner. Heechul was wearing white dressing robes over pink pyjamas, hands grasping a mug of coffee, leaning against a cushion.
“What. Did you see a ghost or something?”
Siwon recovered first, and bounced off happily towards Heechul, “Hyung! You’re awake!”
“I’m not doing this for you, you know.” Heechul said, looking straight at Hankyung, whilst being clobbered by Siwon’s hugs, “I’m just proving my resilience. The others gave up hours ago.”
This comment was met with a wild side-grin from Hankyung, who leant on the arm of the couch, saying quietly, “You missed me, didn’t you?”
Heechul ignored him.
Instead, he gestured towards an immaculately wrapped package sitting on the table, “Someone spent a stupidly long time over that. So you better wash off those crumbs, Donghae, before you open it.”
Donghae swallowed his last cookie, wiped his mouth with one hand, before exclaiming excitedly, “It’s for me?”
“No, Donghae, it’s actually for me. But I’m letting you open it instead.”
Sarcasm was always lost on Donghae, whose bright smile fell instantly, before forcefully bringing himself to be humble, “No, hyung. It’s alright. You can open it.”
Heechul rolled his eyes dramatically, “It’s yours, blockhead.”
His smile returned just as quickly, and Donghae eagerly wiped the crumbs onto the carpet, before running over to pick up the package.
It was heavy, wrapped in several layers of rigid plaster, and oozed a strange scent of burnt toast. Donghae’s name was printed in a large red font and encrusted over the side of the package:
D O N G H A E … [from eunhyuk]
Seeing his friend’s name, Donghae happily tore off the first layer, before coming to sudden standstill. A small white note caught his eye. He steered away from the rest of the members, and hunched around the package, squinting at the note.
HAE,
please open this package in private!
whatever you do, just don’t let the others see --
and welcome back
[sorry if i’m asleep]
HYUK
Excitement rekindled, he carefully unravelled the remaining layers, and peered inside. It was a striped yellow-and-black book, wittily entitled JOKES, PRANKS AND TRICKS for DUMMIES. Giggling to himself, he rewrapped the package, and turned around.
Everybody was staring at him.
“…Well?” Heechul asked expectantly.
“Oh, you’ll see…” was Donghae’s happily enigmatic reply.
---
In the days that followed, Donghae and Eunhyuk went everywhere together, speaking in low whispers, skipping meals and hiding from the other members.
But before anybody noticed anything strange about the duo, an era of the extraordinary had slowly descended upon them.
---
Early Thursday afternoon, just after lunch, Kyuhyun finally managed to corner Heechul.
He was laying on Sungmin’s La-Z-Boy recliner watching Korean dramas with Hankyung, hands in a bowl of popcorn, when Kyuhyun stood in front of the TV, grinning broadly.
“Hyung, remember when you said you’d play StarCraft with me…” he began mischievously.
“Yah, can’t you see I’m busy right now?” Heechul said, feeding Hankyung fistfuls of popcorn.
“But you promised, last time…” Kyuhyun hung his head low, shuffling his feet sadly.
Hankyung chewed at his popcorn, before saying lazily, “Heechul, you should go.”
“What!” Heechul piped up, scattering popcorn all over the Hankyung’s hair, “Don’t you want to eat this?”
“I’m sure I’ll manage fine by myself.”
Heechul stood up, furious, “Alright, Kyuhyun. An hour. That’s all.”
He threw a scathing look at Hankyung as Kyuhyun left the room, “Oh, you’ll be sorry.”
Kyuhyun slotted his CD into the disk-drive of his laptop, and they waited in silence for the onscreen opening credits and that legendary blast of sound. Nothing happened. The screen was completely blank.
After a tense ten seconds or so, Kyuhyun began to fiddle with the mouse anxiously, tapping out random keys in agitation. Then something weird happened.
The word EROTICA flashed boldly across the screen, followed by a montage of nude pictures and videos coupled together against a backdrop of carnal music.
Heechul and Kyuhyun both froze, staring at the screen, open-mouthed in horror.
Just at that moment, Leeteuk burst through the door, holding up that infamous StarCraft disk between two fingers, “Okay, Kyuhyun. Who left this in my laptop?”
He stopped dead at the sounds of muffled sighing, as he caught glimpses of what was on screen, “What.” He said breathlessly. “Are you watching porn?”
---
At 8:37 on Friday morning, the SuJu dorm was just beginning to stir into life. Sleepy heads clad in cotton pyjamas of every colour under the rainbow stepped out in bare feet, drowsily inching their way towards the bathrooms.
Only Ryeowook and Kibum were fully dressed in day clothing; Kibum was sitting at the kitchen table reading the Korea Herald, and Ryeowook was busy fixing a lavish breakfast for his food-deprived hyungs.
Suddenly they heard a deafening yelp from one of the rooms, the clash of doors, and the quick patter of feet against floorboards.
Hankyung burst into the room.
“My face--” He shouted in panic, “I’ve got measles!”
He indeed had angry red marks all across his cheeks, forehead and neck. They refused to disappear even after some livid scratching on Hankyung’s behalf.
Kibum rose quickly from his seat, huddled over to Hankyung and examined his face carefully, holding up his chin towards the light from the window.
“…I don’t think that’s measles, hyung…” Kibum said, slowly, “I think that they’re…kiss marks?”
Hankyung froze. “What? Kiss marks?”
“What was all that racket about?” Heechul had come in, yawning.
They all stared at him, agape.
“What are you looking at me for? He’s the one with the red polka dot face.”
Heechul was wearing thick cherry lipstick, of the exact same shade to the marks on Hankyung’s face.
---
Around the same time that morning, Sungmin was shuffling through his wardrobe, frantically searching for his favourite baby pink BoA tee-shirt. Empty clothes hangers were spread across his bedroom floor, piles of clothes (mostly pink) in mountains on his bed and desk; Sungmin gritted his teeth in exasperation.
Finally, he gave up the hunt. He absentmindedly picked up a blouse from the top of the pile and began to fasten together the buttons. Until he realised that there weren’t any buttons to fasten. The shirt was entirely button-less.
He threw the shirt aside angrily, and picked up another. No buttons.
And another. No buttons, yet again.
By this time, he was steaming with unkempt fury and disbelief. Someone clearly hated him a great deal.
He stormed out of his room, and bumped straight away into a drowsy Kangin.
Kangin, in a pink tee-shirt two dress sizes too small.
“HYUNG! YOU’RE WEARING MY SHIRT!”
Sungmin lost all inhibition all together and leapt at him.
“What the--”
---
At 6:35 am on Saturday, Siwon returned to the dorms after his morning run. His hair was bejewelled with glistening sweat, which underlined his brow line and collar. His shirt was stiff against his body, overstretched against the bulging muscles on his torso.
He tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry. Instead, he made a gagging noise and reached in desperation for the taps.
They wouldn’t turn. He tried again, blaming his hotheadedness for his lack of energy.
But they wouldn’t budge.
Almost crying, he wrenched open the refrigerator door, and fumbled around for a juice carton. Once he found one, he took it out and shook it to testify the juice contents.
Twisting open the lid, he poured the juice straight into his mouth, eyes closed, hanging his mouth open wide.
But what flowed out of the cartoon was not orange juice at all, but a viscous green sludge.
It was thick pea soup.
Siwon choked and spat it out in a torrential jet of green -- straight into the face of Shindong, who was only coming in to sneak an early morning snack.
---
Later that Saturday evening, Ryeowook was busy in the kitchen baking according to a newfound recipe for lemon drizzle. Henry was standing by watching this whole affair intently, and unashamedly ignoring Ryeowook’s hints at him being a nuisance.
“You know, Henry, why don’t you play the violin instead? I always feel that violin music makes the cakes turn out better.”
Henry shook his head, “Nah. Watching you is more fun. Can I help?”
Ryeowook sighed, then patted his hands of flour, “Okay, then. Can you pass me the sugar?”
Henry nodded excitedly, then, seeing the letters S U G A R, in English, written in bold across a container, he confidently picked it up and handed it to Ryeowook.
“Thanks, Henry.”
After 1 hour, the cakes were ready baked and fresh from the oven.
All fifteen members gathered round and inhaled the sweet scent of the risen lemon buns.
Henry, brandishing a knife, was busy dividing the cake into fifteen. He carefully placed each slice upon a napkin into a small plate, eyes never diverting from his work. Ryeowook was standing by, watching proudly, “I give you -- the lemon drizzle.”
All fifteen of them bit into their respective slices simultaneously, anticipating a saccharine tang of baking success.
All fifteen of them retched into their napkins after a few chews, spitting the cake out like canons. Shindong was already glugging at the water fountain, swishing the water around his mouth to rid himself of the taste. Kangin was wiping his tongue onto the back of his hands.
“Yah -- I may not be entirely literate in this whole cake-baking business, Ryeowook,” Heechul exclaimed, flinging his cake aside, “But I’m pretty sure cakes are meant to be sweet, not salty.”
---
That night, Donghae and Eunhyuk congratulated themselves over a bottle of soju.
Eunhyuk downed his in one shot, before pouring himself more.
“That --” he exclaimed drunkenly, “Was quite possibly the best three days of my life.”
Donghae laughed aloud as they clinked their glasses together, “We are total masters.”
They stayed up all night together, watching and re-watching the film footage of their pranks. The secret spy cameras Donghae bought from China had come in useful after all.