16 Reasons Why I Am Better Than God
Here are some reasons why you should worship me instead of God:
1. You can see me.
2. I don't send you to hell if you are bad, because I don't give a shit.
3. I have a really nice Tennis racket.
4. I can beat people up.
5. If I ever have a son I won't send him to earth to die. I'll send him to earth to make pokemon socially acceptable again.
6. I drive the Caddie.
7. I'm not middle eastern.
8. I'm not Jewish.
9. Carpentry is a lame fucking job.
10. If you talk to me, I will probably answer you. I might be a dick, but it's more attension than Jesus gives you if you try that with him.
11. Valdosta is in a more convenient location than Israel for when it comes time to make pilgramages.
12. Jesus didn't have any interesting hobbies or skills. I do.
13. Unlike me God obviously has poor tastes in literature other wise he would have inspired better authors to write his story.
14. God doesn't want you to fuck, but I encourage it.
15. I may not be omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnicient, but at least I'm real.
16. Believing in Jesus requires renouncing evolution which is a scientifically proven occurence. Looking at me is witnessing the pinacle of evolution.
1. You can see me.
2. I don't send you to hell if you are bad, because I don't give a shit.
3. I have a really nice Tennis racket.
4. I can beat people up.
5. If I ever have a son I won't send him to earth to die. I'll send him to earth to make pokemon socially acceptable again.
6. I drive the Caddie.
7. I'm not middle eastern.
8. I'm not Jewish.
9. Carpentry is a lame fucking job.
10. If you talk to me, I will probably answer you. I might be a dick, but it's more attension than Jesus gives you if you try that with him.
11. Valdosta is in a more convenient location than Israel for when it comes time to make pilgramages.
12. Jesus didn't have any interesting hobbies or skills. I do.
13. Unlike me God obviously has poor tastes in literature other wise he would have inspired better authors to write his story.
14. God doesn't want you to fuck, but I encourage it.
15. I may not be omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnicient, but at least I'm real.
16. Believing in Jesus requires renouncing evolution which is a scientifically proven occurence. Looking at me is witnessing the pinacle of evolution.