(no subject)
you know what, fuck it, here we go.
i want to get out of here.
i don't care what you do anymore dennis, because no matter what you do, it can't possibly hurt any worse then this. nothing can.
nothing hurts more then you telling me I make you miserable.
but the words have already been said and the damage has been done.
and that's something sorry can't fix.
you make a mistake, sorry is fine. it always has been.
when you hurt me DEEPLY, say or do something that makes me feel so god damned worthless, sorry doesn't fix that.
and i really don't know what to tell you.
if all i ever do is stress you out and make you miserable, why are you still with me? honestly, why are you with me? i just don't get it.
you know, i try, i try soooooooo fucking hard to be happy, i really do. i find things that make me feel proud of myself, and i do them. i hang around people who make me laugh, who i have fun with. I mean, i tutor jessica cause it makes me feel like i'm helping someone, and that's always made me feel good.
but then it's all just fucking crushed the minute he tells me i'm a liar or i'm unbelievable or that i make him miserable or stress him. or that there are things that are more important then me, or he doesnt wanna talk to me, or doenst wanna see me.
guess what? I've cried everyday for at least a month. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't pay attention in school, i can't even fucking pay attention watching tv. I can't think of anything else, I can't write about anything else, when I do fall asleep I wake up having nightmares about it, and you think YOU'RE stressed?
who am i even living for these days?
i'm just hurt. so fukcing hurt. and i dont care if this is public, i honestly don't give a flying fuck, because i don't care anymore. i don't care what happens to me. i don't care who gets mad at me, because as i said, nothing can hurt worse then this.
absolutely nothing.
i am slowly numbing
the worst part of this all is that these are my inner most pains. all of them. these are the thing that make me cry, day after day.
and the one person that means the world to me. the one person that wrote "i hope i can keep you happy forever" on a tiny piece of paper that I saved in my wallet, isn't even around to help me. isn't even around for me to talk to about it. I can't let this out to the only person who ever really understood, and cared. you know how much that fucking hurts?
I have tons of broken glass in my pockets.
It'll feel better then everything else.
i want to get out of here.
i don't care what you do anymore dennis, because no matter what you do, it can't possibly hurt any worse then this. nothing can.
nothing hurts more then you telling me I make you miserable.
but the words have already been said and the damage has been done.
and that's something sorry can't fix.
you make a mistake, sorry is fine. it always has been.
when you hurt me DEEPLY, say or do something that makes me feel so god damned worthless, sorry doesn't fix that.
and i really don't know what to tell you.
if all i ever do is stress you out and make you miserable, why are you still with me? honestly, why are you with me? i just don't get it.
you know, i try, i try soooooooo fucking hard to be happy, i really do. i find things that make me feel proud of myself, and i do them. i hang around people who make me laugh, who i have fun with. I mean, i tutor jessica cause it makes me feel like i'm helping someone, and that's always made me feel good.
but then it's all just fucking crushed the minute he tells me i'm a liar or i'm unbelievable or that i make him miserable or stress him. or that there are things that are more important then me, or he doesnt wanna talk to me, or doenst wanna see me.
guess what? I've cried everyday for at least a month. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't pay attention in school, i can't even fucking pay attention watching tv. I can't think of anything else, I can't write about anything else, when I do fall asleep I wake up having nightmares about it, and you think YOU'RE stressed?
who am i even living for these days?
i'm just hurt. so fukcing hurt. and i dont care if this is public, i honestly don't give a flying fuck, because i don't care anymore. i don't care what happens to me. i don't care who gets mad at me, because as i said, nothing can hurt worse then this.
absolutely nothing.
i am slowly numbing
the worst part of this all is that these are my inner most pains. all of them. these are the thing that make me cry, day after day.
and the one person that means the world to me. the one person that wrote "i hope i can keep you happy forever" on a tiny piece of paper that I saved in my wallet, isn't even around to help me. isn't even around for me to talk to about it. I can't let this out to the only person who ever really understood, and cared. you know how much that fucking hurts?
I have tons of broken glass in my pockets.
It'll feel better then everything else.