(no subject)
......So i don't know when the hell everything got so crazy, but all of a sudden he's all I can think about and it's all my brain will do. I made this crazy detour last night at three in the morning just so I could hug him and say hello and find out if seeing him would do anything crazy to my heart. It didn't.. but nonetheless, I woke up this morning (after only about three hours of sleep) and he was immediately on my brain again. I tried listening to my books on tape in order to drown out my own thoughts, but my thoughts were louder than the cd player and I have no idea whats going on in my story, but I have come up with about ten million new fantasies of us. I thought about what she told me on the phone yesterday.. think about the problems that arose in the relationship before and find out if they would be a problem now. Answer? Yes. They would. But that doesn't stop me from being mad for him. I still want him like hell.. I want to kiss him and bite him and just have him squeeze me and look at me with those pretty eyes and make me smile. We texted all day while I worked, and he then called me on my way home. I'm not even sure why he called, because not only did he have nothing to say, but he had a friend in the car with him. I have this feeling that because of whats going on inside of my head, it's going to end up fucking with his. I don't want to toy with his emotions anymore, but I can't put mine to rest. And I'm not very good at keeping my feelings to myself. When I have feelings for a person, I tell them.. whether I can act on them or not. I don't want to fuck with his head.. but I don't know what I'm going to be able to hold back and what I'm going to loose control over.