(no subject)
wow. yeah. i feel like a bitch. i'm getting rather good at this. the whole "foot in mouth" thing really applies to me nowadays. every day, that is. i really am sorry, and i hope it won't be held against me.
i'm really starting to hate/dread school. i hate the fact that they make me take all these other classes that they CLAIM have something to do with my major, but really don't. all these other classes are boring me to death and are making me want to drop out of school. all week long i have to be tortured with things like management, marketing, business law, economics.. and i want to drop out of school. but then i have ONE day of accounting, and i calm down and remember that i love my major and that one day all the other classes will go away and school will be fun again. i told my boyfriend to memorize that speeh and give it to me any time i'm bitching about school.
i've been spening all of my time over there, and i really wish we could take things to the next level. unfourtunately, with parents like mine, that will never happen, unless i feel like becoming disowned. he made a really good point about it last night, though. see, almost every night i go over there, and almost every night we end up falling asleep in his bed. i always wake up around two or three, completely groggy, and insist that i have to go home because if my mom were to know i was staying at his house she would get pissed. he threw this big fit and said, "it's stupid! it's really stupid. sometimes i just want to yell at you. i want to say 'what are you DOING? you were SLEEPING! and now you want to go DRIVE? you can't drive! you're sleeping! you're gonna be swerving all over the road, falling asleep at the wheel, and all of this just so you can go SLEEP somewhere else? No! Get back into bed and go back to sleep here'." And it really does make a lot of sence. Half the time I'm driving back home (the thirty minute drive) just so I can wake up early and drive thirty minutes to work, which just happens to be about ten minutes from his house. It really doesn't make any sence. But alas, my parents raised a daughter with no courage, so I'll forever keep quiet and live at their house until the day I die, since thats what they want.
ooh, a note to Jake. I thought you didn't want to read my entries anymore? So what the hell are you doing now?
I suppose I have gotten some courage, seeing as how I think I'm everybodies mother, and constantly feel the need to scream at everyone anymore. I've never been like this. I never used to scream at or fight with anyone. I was thinking about it the other day.. the huge fight I had with my brother about how he's ruining his future, the fight with Mere about how her boyfriend is an asshole, all the other times I complain about Mere because she's not thinking smart financially, the way I scream at Julius for all the fuck ups he's doing, and a bunch of other examples where I'm complaining about people because they're making the wrong choices or just being fucking stupid. Maybe I should chill the fuck out and just stay out of everyone's business. But I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut and it's doing nothing but causing me problems.
Oh, another thing. A guy approached me at work the other day and asked me if I've ever considered modeling. I told him no, and he goes on to talk to me about how I HAVE to look into it, because I am perfect model material. This guy has talked to me about my looks before, and its quite flattering, but also scary (if you saw the guy you would understand). He doesn't do it in a creepy way, but more of a genuine way, like he really truly beleives I should model.. like it would better mankind to have my pictures on magazine covers or something. I guess it gave me a big head for a day or so, because I kept bugging my boyfriend about "if I become a model, do you care if I drop out of school?" and a bunch of other questions, to which he finally had to stop me and say, "Are you really considering looking into this? You're not a model yet.." Oh well. It would be nice, though. And a sure as hell easier way of making money, and a more decent way of making money as opposed to my other idea (stripping).
on a final note, I have a confession to make. I've never told anyone this in real life, and it goes against all previous statements about it that I've made, but I want to get married. I'll just leave it at that.
i'm really starting to hate/dread school. i hate the fact that they make me take all these other classes that they CLAIM have something to do with my major, but really don't. all these other classes are boring me to death and are making me want to drop out of school. all week long i have to be tortured with things like management, marketing, business law, economics.. and i want to drop out of school. but then i have ONE day of accounting, and i calm down and remember that i love my major and that one day all the other classes will go away and school will be fun again. i told my boyfriend to memorize that speeh and give it to me any time i'm bitching about school.
i've been spening all of my time over there, and i really wish we could take things to the next level. unfourtunately, with parents like mine, that will never happen, unless i feel like becoming disowned. he made a really good point about it last night, though. see, almost every night i go over there, and almost every night we end up falling asleep in his bed. i always wake up around two or three, completely groggy, and insist that i have to go home because if my mom were to know i was staying at his house she would get pissed. he threw this big fit and said, "it's stupid! it's really stupid. sometimes i just want to yell at you. i want to say 'what are you DOING? you were SLEEPING! and now you want to go DRIVE? you can't drive! you're sleeping! you're gonna be swerving all over the road, falling asleep at the wheel, and all of this just so you can go SLEEP somewhere else? No! Get back into bed and go back to sleep here'." And it really does make a lot of sence. Half the time I'm driving back home (the thirty minute drive) just so I can wake up early and drive thirty minutes to work, which just happens to be about ten minutes from his house. It really doesn't make any sence. But alas, my parents raised a daughter with no courage, so I'll forever keep quiet and live at their house until the day I die, since thats what they want.
ooh, a note to Jake. I thought you didn't want to read my entries anymore? So what the hell are you doing now?
I suppose I have gotten some courage, seeing as how I think I'm everybodies mother, and constantly feel the need to scream at everyone anymore. I've never been like this. I never used to scream at or fight with anyone. I was thinking about it the other day.. the huge fight I had with my brother about how he's ruining his future, the fight with Mere about how her boyfriend is an asshole, all the other times I complain about Mere because she's not thinking smart financially, the way I scream at Julius for all the fuck ups he's doing, and a bunch of other examples where I'm complaining about people because they're making the wrong choices or just being fucking stupid. Maybe I should chill the fuck out and just stay out of everyone's business. But I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut and it's doing nothing but causing me problems.
Oh, another thing. A guy approached me at work the other day and asked me if I've ever considered modeling. I told him no, and he goes on to talk to me about how I HAVE to look into it, because I am perfect model material. This guy has talked to me about my looks before, and its quite flattering, but also scary (if you saw the guy you would understand). He doesn't do it in a creepy way, but more of a genuine way, like he really truly beleives I should model.. like it would better mankind to have my pictures on magazine covers or something. I guess it gave me a big head for a day or so, because I kept bugging my boyfriend about "if I become a model, do you care if I drop out of school?" and a bunch of other questions, to which he finally had to stop me and say, "Are you really considering looking into this? You're not a model yet.." Oh well. It would be nice, though. And a sure as hell easier way of making money, and a more decent way of making money as opposed to my other idea (stripping).
on a final note, I have a confession to make. I've never told anyone this in real life, and it goes against all previous statements about it that I've made, but I want to get married. I'll just leave it at that.