(no subject)
incase it's not obvious, i've fallen in love with the lj random search.
and i found this lj post today that really made me think about the words we use on a daily basis, and how thoughtless we all are sometimes. i know the majority of us are guilty of saying "that's so gay" or "he's such a faggot" in front of, or even to, a homosexual/ bisexual/ transgender (damn i can be politically correct haha)- and as bad as we are for doing that, i don't think we realize how bad we are about other deragotory/ offensive things we say. so, please, read this post- even go to the actual lj and READ THE COMMENTS cuz it really makes you think about the slang/ statements you say every day.
this bears addressing. again.
for those of you not in the know, my friend matthew's sister survived difficult treatments for breast cancer last year. matthew, no offense intended here, and apologies if any is taken. i'm going to make a hypothetical analogy to make a point; i'll phrase things respectfully.
let's just say that it was a common expression to refer to women who've undergone this as an analogy, or shorthand, for saying someone is ugly. someone looks particularly bad one day, and uses some derogatory term that means "women with the appearance of a scarred cancer survivor" as a way of saying so. "Geez, sorry I look so bad today, I am such a [term goes here]."
and let's say that people in this community used that phrasing.
and let's say that matthew explained and explained, sometimes gracefully, sometimes in anger and frustration, why he found that offensive. "if you're going to call yourself ugly, can't you do it without dragging my sister into it?" i can imagine him saying, and rightly so.
and let's say people who were part of those conversations, with a lot of awareness of the whole thing, really smart, linguistically sharp people, then made a point of continuing to use this derogatory reference.
are you there with me?
i won't speak for matthew, but in that spot, were i he, i would come to the place where i would have to say: that person has pretty much said "fuck off" to me, deliberately demeaning my sister and others in her spot. she has done nothing to deserve being used as a shorthand for ugly, whatever you think of her and people like her. and the person who insists on it is not my friend.
and in fact, i'm in exactly that place.
stepping out of the analogy and into reality, if you just HAVE to use "retarded" as the way to say something is inadequate or wrong, knowing that i see it as demeaning to mine and tonie's sons, i don't want yet another discussion about it. you have every right to say whatever the hell you want to say, however you want to say it; we've talked it to death.
but get out of my house.
check out the rest at his lj: just_jeff or click here for the specific post