Merry Month of May my butt. Oh, and um, Happy Mother's Day.

[chevrolady]

I would have posted this earlier, but what can I say--computers pick and choose when to work.

Hamburger night was awesome. Not as good as Dad's but still okay. Eating around the others isn't as weird as it used to be either. It's like, some kind of every-so-often neighborhood barbecue. It's like, kind of scary to say, but I think I'm (maybe)

Comments

[nosugar_nomilk]

You don't take responsibility for anything, do you?

Did you stop to think that your mother might be in pain? Maybe the best thing you could do for her is leave her alone, give her time to heal, to come to you when she's ready. But no, it's all about what you want, even on Mother's Day.

[chevrolady]

It's been nearly two years since I was arrested. My mom already put me and my sister both on hold whenever she felt like it BEFORE everything got so insane, and it wasn't always for her big important job. I can hardly remember a Mother's Day where she wasn't working when I was a kid, and even then I tried to be patient with her. In before "excuses, excuses."

There's nothing more I can do than apologize now. Maybe I am asking too much. But my mom kicked herself day in and day out for everything we had argued about, after she thought I was dead. Now that she knows I'm alive she wants nothing to do with me? Believe what you want, but no matter how angry she makes me, I DO miss her--but though I still have some growing up to do, I'm not the only one. If I really was better off dead to her (or if I am, whatever she wants to think now), I don't think I'm asking too much that she just tell me so I can stop hoping for something that will never happen. But what do I know, right.

[nosugar_nomilk]

Do you think two years is a long time when it comes to grief?

It isn't. It's nothing. It's a grain of sand in an hourglass.

Your mother mourned you when she thought you were gone. Now she's angry because you deceived her in a despicable way. I don't know your mother, so I can't say what her faults are, but I don't see why I'd believe anything you'd say about her. Any parent would have a hard time dealing with what you've done.

[chevrolady]

Well, it's felt like a long time to me.

Okay okay. I won't put up a fight here, but like I said, I don't even care if she hates me. If I were her I'd probably be really mad too. But if it weren't for her It's WAY too long of a story. It's just not knowing what she's thinking now is what's driving me crazy.

No, I guess you wouldn't have any good reason to believe me. I did fake out everyone in my life for, like, almost a year. But I hardly lied about anything before I took over my sister's life. Whatever. I guess if my mom's better off without me, I should feel happy for her.

[nosugar_nomilk]

We're all here to be punished. We have to deal with the judgments of others.

You could consider the act of waiting part of the price you have to pay for your mistakes and learn something from it.

And who can say? Maybe she will call you someday. Time changes everything.

[chevrolady]

Guess so...I've got a long time to wait. I'm happy my Dad still pokes his nose in here from time to time. That's definitely better than nothing.

(I wonder if Dad knows Mom likes those pink tulips...)