rip my heart out and leave it beating on the floor.
For some reason i just can't stop thinking.
I don't want to be me. I don't want to be some geeky over-weight junior in sophomore classes. I don't want to be made fun of anymore. I don't want to hear all these popular kids snicker behind my back. I just don't want to be me.
I'm pretty much pathetic. If it weren't for work i'd be a total loser. It keeps me busy most of the time. I don't get invited that much to go places with my other friends..other than Melissa, Dani, Catie, &&Gena i don't know who actually wants to do something. I think about and i'm so fucking 00-o0-o. I don't know what that means but i can fill it in anytime. What kind of 16 year old male kid doesn't have other male friends? Is there something wrong with me? Why do i get so moody...why is it that i think constantly of the bad, or what i can't have more than the good and what i got. I don't know me, if i don't know me i hardly doubt anyone knows me. I don't like what i got, and when it's gone ill miss it.
I don't even think this entry makes sense. I'm just so confused right now.
I don't know why i can't change. I tell myself i want to change all the time, i almost convince myself sometimes, and then i end up breaking the promise i made to myself, i get so mad at me i want to hurt myself. I can't do anything. I've been doing my homework but how long with that last? It's going to stop soon.
Gena at one point said it looked like i lost weight, but thats impossible because i havent done anything to lose it. I want to but i can't because i fight with myself constantly.
godddd. i hate myself so much.
I don't want to be me. I don't want to be some geeky over-weight junior in sophomore classes. I don't want to be made fun of anymore. I don't want to hear all these popular kids snicker behind my back. I just don't want to be me.
I'm pretty much pathetic. If it weren't for work i'd be a total loser. It keeps me busy most of the time. I don't get invited that much to go places with my other friends..other than Melissa, Dani, Catie, &&Gena i don't know who actually wants to do something. I think about and i'm so fucking 00-o0-o. I don't know what that means but i can fill it in anytime. What kind of 16 year old male kid doesn't have other male friends? Is there something wrong with me? Why do i get so moody...why is it that i think constantly of the bad, or what i can't have more than the good and what i got. I don't know me, if i don't know me i hardly doubt anyone knows me. I don't like what i got, and when it's gone ill miss it.
I don't even think this entry makes sense. I'm just so confused right now.
I don't know why i can't change. I tell myself i want to change all the time, i almost convince myself sometimes, and then i end up breaking the promise i made to myself, i get so mad at me i want to hurt myself. I can't do anything. I've been doing my homework but how long with that last? It's going to stop soon.
Gena at one point said it looked like i lost weight, but thats impossible because i havent done anything to lose it. I want to but i can't because i fight with myself constantly.
godddd. i hate myself so much.