(no subject)
This is a comment that I left in Sachi's LJ.........I hope it certainly helps the rest of you.
Going with germboy's post up there, you always do seem fine when I talk to you over AIM, and disregarding many of your afterschool/lunchtime rants (many just about the stupidity, grossness, hilarity, or reasons of various things and issues) don't really have much to do with your personal issues. The bad ones, that is. Also, like I tell Conor, whenever he mentions that he's upset about something, or just plain miserable; he just tells me that I'll think it's stupid, or a stupid problem, and it'll be useless to explain it to me, I just go on yelling at him till he tells me what it is. Not really yelling, but essentially I tell him he's only a stupid shit because he thinks that it's a useless problem and a waste of my time, and he better explain it to me now, so I can try to help.
The thing is I want to help when my friends are feeling down, even if I can't really offer a solution to their problem, I at least feel comforted by the fact that I may have helped by just showing support and understanding. I guess the only thing that pisses me off is when people mention having a problem, or being depressed, and how they don't want to whine to anyone, well how in the hell do they expect the people who care about them to respond? To just ignore the fact that they're friend just mentioned they're hurting? And to stand by and just watch them suffer emotionally? No, they're going to try and help. But if the only info you give them is "Oh, I'm depressed, but I don't want to whine and bother any of you, so I'll just say that and go mope by myself", they can't help you, even though they want to. Also, you just wasted your breath and your friends earspace in a totally contradictory statement. So please, explain your problem/s, don't just mention you're depressed, but "don't want to whine." That IS whining. Here's the defenition: "1. intransitive verb complain peevishly: to complain in an unreasonable, repeated, or irritating way." It is unreasonable for your friends to just listen to you say you're depressed, have a brain full o' issues, need to get some crap off your chest, but don't want to bother anyone, even though you're feeling terrible. It's irritating because then you're friends can't do anything about it, and worry about you, and know that by just letting you sit there full of issues, peeves, angst, etc. just makes your feelings worse, and on top of that, it's like an self-inflicted sense that none of you're friends care about you, because they don't understand what's going on inside your head. Well they can't, because they only got one generic statement about how you feel, which is nothing to go on. So they can't do anything, and feel useless. At this point the pile o' issues is just intensifying, and it continues, because you've put yourself in a box of depression, and "don't want to whine about it", but continue to mention that you just are depressed and stressed and can't bother your friends.
Sorry if I've been overly harsh, it's just something I get a lot from Conor on AIM, and lately from you on LJ, just short, sometimes one or two sentence posts that scream that you are in pain, emotionally, and sometimes so deeply emotionally that it becomes physical. You can't just say that you have so many issues that you can't express, and that you don't want to whine about them. Sometimes it's really hard to find a way to do that. I'm still looking for mine. But you need to remember, you are NEVER bothering your friends when you are talking and venting ANY of your emotions. Otherwise, they don't care about you, if all they want to hear is the 'happy stuff'.
Going with germboy's post up there, you always do seem fine when I talk to you over AIM, and disregarding many of your afterschool/lunchtime rants (many just about the stupidity, grossness, hilarity, or reasons of various things and issues) don't really have much to do with your personal issues. The bad ones, that is. Also, like I tell Conor, whenever he mentions that he's upset about something, or just plain miserable; he just tells me that I'll think it's stupid, or a stupid problem, and it'll be useless to explain it to me, I just go on yelling at him till he tells me what it is. Not really yelling, but essentially I tell him he's only a stupid shit because he thinks that it's a useless problem and a waste of my time, and he better explain it to me now, so I can try to help.
The thing is I want to help when my friends are feeling down, even if I can't really offer a solution to their problem, I at least feel comforted by the fact that I may have helped by just showing support and understanding. I guess the only thing that pisses me off is when people mention having a problem, or being depressed, and how they don't want to whine to anyone, well how in the hell do they expect the people who care about them to respond? To just ignore the fact that they're friend just mentioned they're hurting? And to stand by and just watch them suffer emotionally? No, they're going to try and help. But if the only info you give them is "Oh, I'm depressed, but I don't want to whine and bother any of you, so I'll just say that and go mope by myself", they can't help you, even though they want to. Also, you just wasted your breath and your friends earspace in a totally contradictory statement. So please, explain your problem/s, don't just mention you're depressed, but "don't want to whine." That IS whining. Here's the defenition: "1. intransitive verb complain peevishly: to complain in an unreasonable, repeated, or irritating way." It is unreasonable for your friends to just listen to you say you're depressed, have a brain full o' issues, need to get some crap off your chest, but don't want to bother anyone, even though you're feeling terrible. It's irritating because then you're friends can't do anything about it, and worry about you, and know that by just letting you sit there full of issues, peeves, angst, etc. just makes your feelings worse, and on top of that, it's like an self-inflicted sense that none of you're friends care about you, because they don't understand what's going on inside your head. Well they can't, because they only got one generic statement about how you feel, which is nothing to go on. So they can't do anything, and feel useless. At this point the pile o' issues is just intensifying, and it continues, because you've put yourself in a box of depression, and "don't want to whine about it", but continue to mention that you just are depressed and stressed and can't bother your friends.
Sorry if I've been overly harsh, it's just something I get a lot from Conor on AIM, and lately from you on LJ, just short, sometimes one or two sentence posts that scream that you are in pain, emotionally, and sometimes so deeply emotionally that it becomes physical. You can't just say that you have so many issues that you can't express, and that you don't want to whine about them. Sometimes it's really hard to find a way to do that. I'm still looking for mine. But you need to remember, you are NEVER bothering your friends when you are talking and venting ANY of your emotions. Otherwise, they don't care about you, if all they want to hear is the 'happy stuff'.