(Untitled)

[chestmonster]

HARRY POTTER'S 17TH BIRTHDAY PARTY.Harry's currently out at St Mungos with that hottie with the damn fine laffy taffy, Draco Malfoy. Trying to, you know, fix Draco's little veela problem, but damn, Harry, at this rate you'll never get laid! Stupefying the guy you have wet dreams of every night when he tries to grind on you isn't so smart, you know

Comments

Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

*The Real Slim Shady starts playing*

Ohh. *drops bottle of fire whiskey, swaying a bit*

DRACO. DRACO. IT'S OUR SONG!

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

*steadies her* Pansy. I have no idea who Slim Shady is. What did you do?

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

*giggles before slipping to the ground* *lays down and starts making a snow angel in the floor*

DRACO, YOU BE SLIM SHADY AND I'LL BE DR. DRE. *pulls out gun #1 and #2* Damn. Those things were in some uncomfortable positions.

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

*leans down to pull her up* PANSY. No. WHY DO YOU HAVE MUGGLE WEAPONS? YOUR HANDS ARE CONTAMINATED WITH MUGGLE GERMS NOW, YOU KNOW, PANSY. WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

*scrunches face to think* I ate a piece of cake and turned into a black man. And now i'm wearing his clothes. I remember that I was really worried about someone shooting me and that's why -- *pulls up shirt* i'm wearing this vest thingy? It's doing havoc to my boobs, Draco. And these baggy pants are atrocious. I think I have a couple more muggle things stuck down my pants. Hold on. *sticks hands down pants* *pulls out gun #3, 4, and 5, also a grenade and knife.* *eyes buldge* WHAT THE FUCK.

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

... I'm not sure what to say, Pansy, but I think you should burn that outfit. QUICKLY, BEFORE THE MUGGLE GERMS SPREAD. THEY'RE ALREADY ON MY HANDS, AND THEY'RE ON YOUR BODY. WHAT IS GOING ON?

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

*wiggles eyebrows* You just want me to get naked! Ew. Muggle germs. You realize there are muggles running around your house right now?

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

Well, I do like you when you're naked. But I'd rather not have you do it in front of muggles or anybody else. What happened to the Weasel?

We can stupefy them all, to make you feel better, if you'd like.

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

I'm sure they would enjoy the show. Ron -- I don't know. He's very hot and cold. We've not talked at all in the past week. I just don't know.

Ooh, that would be fun!

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

I don't want to let muggles see you naked. Do you want me to hex him? If he hurts you, I'll kill him.

... We're breathing the same air that a muggle has. Pansy. I think. I think I may choke.

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

I would never let muggles see me naked. He's not hurting me, you need not worry. If it's meant to be, it will work out. Oh, optimism.

You musn't choke, dear. I can't live without you.

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

I'm assuming you're sober again. You should go look through Mother's clothes to find something else to wear. Those trousers look ... eight times your size, at least.

I'm all right. I still feel a bit lightheaded. Stupid Potter.

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

Getting there. Oooh, I get to raid your Mother's closet! And between you and I, these trousers are rather comfortable.

I hear ____ makes people do stupid things.

Re: Dance Floor

[stfupotter]

Really now? I would think that all of those ... chain things on it would be uncomfortable.

"Underscore underscore underscore underscore"? What?

Re: Dance Floor

[pansyduh]

Yes, well, the inside is quite soft. Help me up.

Er, I don't think I should -- Oh, fuck it. Love. Love makes people do stupid things.

Re: Dance Floor

[stfumalfoy]

That it does. Believe me. *_______*