I have a little secret...
SOMETIMES....
...I fall madly in love without reason and care for the person’s true character. Whether he’s a good person or not. I feel that this is a holdover from my childhood where I loved my father deeply even though he showed no true loyalty to me. I working on this, it’s hard and frustrating and sometimes I wish I was one of those people who live and love freely. But I can’t because that’s not me and I can’t see myself giving myself over to people to use wantonly, though it might be a wonderfully experience, this would not solve the deeper problem.
Anyways, I like this guy. He’s older and shorter and definitely not my “TYPE” (which would be a Mike Piazza look alike. You know: Tall, nicely built, cute nose, nice cheek bones and darkly colored whether skin or hair. E.g. - Italian, Greek, Russians and Germans.) However he appeals to me because he’s himself and kind. I used to want his roommate a lot, but the roomies the ‘hope-but-never-can-get-with’ type guy and apparently a skeeve so umm no? But anyways, what I feel for him is one of those situations a girl gets herself in when she dwells on a person to long and confuses kindness with attraction. But I still find myself contemplating his reactions if I were to do or wear something sexy (not trashy, but a pencil skirt, with my favorite heels, a crisp white shirt top three buttons opened, wearing a slim black tie, a short bob cut wig and a black fedora) and strut my ass across this place. But, then I realize even if he liked what he saw he’s still a…
Firstie
…and it could never be.