The Entry With No Title Except That It Has One
Completely boring day. End.
Okay, so at least last night was fun. I went to see Anna at work on her break and had a blast. It seems like those are the only real times where we get to spend one on one time together anymore. Either I am busy or she is, so it effectively kills the chances of us having a serious dating relationship at the momment. Somehow I am not sad because of it because it is better for us. I have learned that I don't want to spend every waking hour of my day with someone who I am loving getting to know better. I could be like CJ and her new guy, Ben, where we spend every night together and start making out and speaking of love after 6 days. I want to cherish every momment I have with Anna, because I never know how many more I have. I don't think it will end any time soon, but there is still that chance that something will happen that will keep us from eachother. Plus, I don't have to worry about not having something to talk about with her. I wasn't there for her entire day, so I can actually be entertained with her telling me what happened. I am sure that even if I were to be there for it, the way she told it would still be amusing. Its just her style... or something.
After that Dicey met me at Publix and we back to my house for a few minutes so I could get some food and then to Chip's house to watch "Blue Collar Comedy Rides Again", which was one of the best stand-ups since "Blue Collar Comedy Tour". Everyone really liked Ron White, but I guess drunk jokes just don't work as much on me anymore. Catholocism is fading from my system more and more each day, but is it a bad thing? I took Dani back to her car after that, and came home in the rain to find Ben and CJ on the couch for a 4th(?) night in a row. I just grabbed some pizza and went to bed, to wake up today to nothing.
I did do something tonight though, I read my old LJ posts. It brought up some thoughts about how I have changed... but oh well.
It started by me just testing out this live bookmark feature on my browser, and then turned into a trippy, flip out fun ride. I noticed that my tone has gotten a lot... brighter. No longer do I find all these dark things in life, but instead I find that everywhere there is good. It was a small part of what I believed then, but now it is the core. My language has gotten loads better to where I hardly ever say the evil nasty words like poop and stuff, allowing more creativity with my words. I see how cussing is just an excuse used by people with poor vocabulary skills, but some of the smarter people I know use them so maybe its not true. My poetic side shows itself less and less with my writing style now, to the point where it seems like everything is sort of monotone, blending my writing style on the LJ into the same thing as everyone else. Sure, its a record of what I do, but its also my writing excercise. Plus, people like it... and I like people, so I like it. If you don't like it, so what? Should I cry? No... I should just stare at you for being you.
My standpoint towards religion has changed a little since then, too. No longer do I make cracks on Baptists, because I kinda sorta am one. I have drifted further in to the right-wing of religion, which is good considering religion is a traditional and moralistic thing- something the right-wing is all about. I have taken on a new purpose in life, except its one I have always had. I have always had this need to help others, which is nothing new to everyone. It just so happens, however, that the church is also really big on that concept. With Kevin right there with me, I actually have a mentor who can teach me on that part of life. I have changed, I am sure of it. I didn't want to admit it because it may not have been cool, I wouldn't be all hXc anymore. Screw being like that if it means forsaking the good things I have going in my life. Those of you who do say it, I am sure you understood anyway, and it didn't change things then. I haven't changed deep down- I took those quizzes again and every one of them came up the same. Some were over a year old, so it wasn't that I remembered what to do.
What it comes down to is that I am me, no matter what happens. My outter shell may change, and I may walk on different roads from time to time, but I still know my destination and why I want to go there. My life may not be so dark anymore, but with someone there to hold a light for me, things are better. If things change, and they will, I will adapt. If not, the situation will.
Okay, so at least last night was fun. I went to see Anna at work on her break and had a blast. It seems like those are the only real times where we get to spend one on one time together anymore. Either I am busy or she is, so it effectively kills the chances of us having a serious dating relationship at the momment. Somehow I am not sad because of it because it is better for us. I have learned that I don't want to spend every waking hour of my day with someone who I am loving getting to know better. I could be like CJ and her new guy, Ben, where we spend every night together and start making out and speaking of love after 6 days. I want to cherish every momment I have with Anna, because I never know how many more I have. I don't think it will end any time soon, but there is still that chance that something will happen that will keep us from eachother. Plus, I don't have to worry about not having something to talk about with her. I wasn't there for her entire day, so I can actually be entertained with her telling me what happened. I am sure that even if I were to be there for it, the way she told it would still be amusing. Its just her style... or something.
After that Dicey met me at Publix and we back to my house for a few minutes so I could get some food and then to Chip's house to watch "Blue Collar Comedy Rides Again", which was one of the best stand-ups since "Blue Collar Comedy Tour". Everyone really liked Ron White, but I guess drunk jokes just don't work as much on me anymore. Catholocism is fading from my system more and more each day, but is it a bad thing? I took Dani back to her car after that, and came home in the rain to find Ben and CJ on the couch for a 4th(?) night in a row. I just grabbed some pizza and went to bed, to wake up today to nothing.
I did do something tonight though, I read my old LJ posts. It brought up some thoughts about how I have changed... but oh well.
It started by me just testing out this live bookmark feature on my browser, and then turned into a trippy, flip out fun ride. I noticed that my tone has gotten a lot... brighter. No longer do I find all these dark things in life, but instead I find that everywhere there is good. It was a small part of what I believed then, but now it is the core. My language has gotten loads better to where I hardly ever say the evil nasty words like poop and stuff, allowing more creativity with my words. I see how cussing is just an excuse used by people with poor vocabulary skills, but some of the smarter people I know use them so maybe its not true. My poetic side shows itself less and less with my writing style now, to the point where it seems like everything is sort of monotone, blending my writing style on the LJ into the same thing as everyone else. Sure, its a record of what I do, but its also my writing excercise. Plus, people like it... and I like people, so I like it. If you don't like it, so what? Should I cry? No... I should just stare at you for being you.
My standpoint towards religion has changed a little since then, too. No longer do I make cracks on Baptists, because I kinda sorta am one. I have drifted further in to the right-wing of religion, which is good considering religion is a traditional and moralistic thing- something the right-wing is all about. I have taken on a new purpose in life, except its one I have always had. I have always had this need to help others, which is nothing new to everyone. It just so happens, however, that the church is also really big on that concept. With Kevin right there with me, I actually have a mentor who can teach me on that part of life. I have changed, I am sure of it. I didn't want to admit it because it may not have been cool, I wouldn't be all hXc anymore. Screw being like that if it means forsaking the good things I have going in my life. Those of you who do say it, I am sure you understood anyway, and it didn't change things then. I haven't changed deep down- I took those quizzes again and every one of them came up the same. Some were over a year old, so it wasn't that I remembered what to do.
What it comes down to is that I am me, no matter what happens. My outter shell may change, and I may walk on different roads from time to time, but I still know my destination and why I want to go there. My life may not be so dark anymore, but with someone there to hold a light for me, things are better. If things change, and they will, I will adapt. If not, the situation will.