Weevil + Chocolate = Bloody end.
I blame hohaiyee for this. She gave me the inspiration with her comment that she thought my other fic was going to be about Gwen feeding Janet crack. That one wasn't but this is.
Nothing special. Just a drabble of sorts but it's all in conversations.
Rated: PG
“Ianto?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you seen Gwen?”
“Not for a while now, no. She must have gone home early. Why?”
“Rhys just called. Gwen hasn’t come home yet. He’s claiming she called from here saying she was about to leave but she just had to take care of something first.”
“Oh? What thing was that?”
“He didn’t say.”
“That’s odd. Maybe she finished whatever it was and sneaked off for a wine at the pub before heading home?”
“That doesn’t sound like her. Besides she told Rhys she was coming straight home remember? Can you check the CCTV? See if you can find where she went.”
“Good idea. I’ll bring it up now.”
“……”
“Stop it there! Bring up that footage of the Weevil cells. Is that Gwen? What’s she doing?”
“I think it was Gwen’s turn to feed the weevils this week. But i don't think feeding the weevils involves taunting them either.”
“Is that…. is that a chocolate wrapper in Janet’s cell? Ianto! Didn’t you warn Gwen about giving the Weevils junk food?”
“Yes, um about that .… must of slipped my mind. Sorry.”
"Oh no! Gwen run!.....too late."
"Huh. I didn't know Weevils could fit that much in their mouth at one time."
“This is terrible.”
“I know. Janet’s going to get indigestion from eating Gwen that fast.”
“Ianto, don’t be so flippant, this is serious! Gwen must have given Janet chocolate not knowing the sugar is the equivalent of giving her crack cocaine. ”
“She would have been told that during her first days training Jack except she didn’t have training. She managed to convince you that her PC training was enough to enable her to deal with aliens.”
“I know, i know. But I told you why i did that, she just wouldn’t stop whining. I figured she would use her common sense.”
“I don’t think she had any Sir. Common or otherwise.”
“I thought you were taught to never speak ill of the dead?”
“That only applies to people I liked when they were alive.”
“I suppose that’s fair enough. This is terrible. What am I going to tell Rhys?”
“How about: I’m sorry but Gwen won’t be coming home tonight. She’s busy being digested by a weevil coming down off a sugar high.”
“Yes that should go down really well. Can you clean this up? I have to go make some phone calls.”
“Of course sir.”
“Why did Gwen have to be so stupid? I never should have hired her.”
……..
…….
“Nice work Janet. We’ll just keep who really gave you that chocolate between us hmm?”
“BURP!”
“That’s my girl."
.