Twenty-second move: [Video]

[chess_wizard]

[Ron's face comes on, looking distinctly annoyed.]

If someone doesn't tell me what the hell is going on-

[He's interrupted by someone shaking a bag of potato chips in his face, causing Ron to move the camera in surprise. Next to him is a taller, older, chubbier version of himself, offering the bag.]

Sure you don't want any chips, dude?

No, I don't want

Comments

[cockofthewok]

You mean to say that you kiss your mum with that mouth Ron?

[chess_wizard]

Hey, you leave my mom out of this, okay? She might be an overprotective, overbearing, overeating-

You're DEAD! Sirius, can't you shut him up?!

Sirius loves you Ron

[cockofthewok]

I'll shut yours up if you shut mine up. He's been screaming up the stairs for hours now. Ugly bastard too.

Oi, stupid Ron, tell me more about your mum.

Ron loves Sirius, but he'll love him more if he manages to kick his actor's arse.

[chess_wizard]

Where did these bastards come from, anyway?!

Ha! My mom's totally getting on my case all the time because Percy turned out to be this stupid jerkface and Fred and George are complete screw-ups and... and....

Wait, why do you wanna know?

Sirius is trying to distract him so Ron can take back his wand.

[cockofthewok]

It's an event. I think. The whole play thing and all.

Because I'm interested stupid Ron. I want to know how deeply you know your character's history.

Ron will catch on... eventually.

[chess_wizard]

But I don't want some idiot playing me in some stupid theatre nonsense!

Whoa, wait, hold on, dude. ...are you actually doubting me? Me? The one and only (almost) Ron Weasley? The guy who stood by Harry's side and kicked little dummy Draco's ass when Harry was busy trying to save the school like every semester? I think I got this role down, man.

Quickly, quickly little Ron!

[cockofthewok]

None of us do mate. That's part of the mansion's 'charm'.

I doubt stupid Ron. I doubt a whole lot. You're going to need to give me some exposition. How about a little Hamlet time here.

What's this? An opening? Huzzah!

[chess_wizard]

Dude, stupid Ron? Really? Come on, that's just wrong! I'm way smarter than this little flobberworm, for sure! What's to know? There's the cool brother with the ponytail, the cool brother with the dragons, Percy, the cool twins, Don Ron over here, and the stupid baby sister who thinks Harry's got it going on, which is just gross because, y'know, he's my best friend and she's just skinny Ginny. And then there's Hermione, who's such an epic pain in the ass that we just keep her around because she does our homework for us; otherwise, the troll could've eaten her for all I care. See, see? Troll! Minor detail! Totally proving I'm not stupid- RON!

Locomotor Mortis!

[The sound of something heavy hitting the floor can be heard.]

Oh shit, I've been pwned!

Sirius is TOTALLY proud of you Ron!

[cockofthewok]

Good lad Ron, good lad.

Ron's pretty proud of himself right about now, too! m/

[chess_wizard]

Heh, thanks.

Okay, okay, I get it, that's nice. Now help me up, okay? Come on, you can't just leave me here! It's against the rules! I'm just gonna keep talking until you let me-

Hey Sirius, what's the Full Body-Bind incantation again?

... shit.

This is all thanks to the Sirius Black blood you have runnign through your veins.

[cockofthewok]

Don't remember it. Just use crucio.

If that's what Sirius has forced himself to believe, then so be it. XD

[chess_wizard]

What?! You don't go telling a little kid that!

Shut up! [He lowers his voice, then.] You're not serious, right? That's illegal!

It's the only way he can clean his dirty bloodline.

[cockofthewok]

It'll shut him up ... more or less.

Has he tried bleach? I hear it really gets the stains out, if you don't mind a bit of searing pain.

[chess_wizard]

[The other Ron's still yelling in the background, but Ron doesn't much care.]

I dunno... feels like cheating, if we've only got one wand between us and I go cursing him like that. Maybe I'll just stuff a sock in his mouth. A used one. That hasn't been washed.

He'll try anything at this point.

[cockofthewok]

Isn't that a bit like using the killing curse on it?

Healers will be standing by.

[chess_wizard]

Fine, I'll use a new sock, then!