(no subject)
Before I begin, sorry about DC, Alisa. Things just didn't pan out, but hopefully I will make it down there when the snow clears. I can't wait for springtime.
Life feels so... I dunno. I don't have much spare time. It's occupied mostly by work, commuting, the gym, and my side projects (2 Haiti relief committees)... and the possible new job (will update about that if/when things get rolling). It bugs me that though I'm always busy, I can't think of a narrative of what I'm doing, mostly because of work. I'm a biotechnological/medical factory worker, pounding out results as fast as possible, to generate maximum profits.
And that feels so... not me. I need to be nurturing, to help people reach their fullest potential, to be enlightening, to grow as a person and professionally. This job is not giving me that. I know it's not permanent, but I want more. So much more.
On another note, I've been obsessed with art lately. Not quite in making art, exactly. But the ideas, concepts, inspiration, forms, mediums, execution. I found out fairly recently that I experience synesthesia. Specifically, I see color when I listen to music, but not when I'm occupied with something else that I have to concentrate on, like working or driving. Often when I'm driving, for example, I find myself struggling to focus on driving because I want to experience the sounds and colors of the music I'm listening to.
Most of the time, I see colors in shapes and movement. For some songs, it may seem like I'm wearing tinted glasses. The day I put words to this experience was when Shibo was showing me Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek". I said, "Hey, guys, do you see color when you're listening to this song? This song is violet." And the room was tinted violet.
This realization helps me make sense of things I've observed about me, but that I hadn't quite figured out. For instance, certain sounds give me certain sensations. I'm not just talking about eerie strings making me scared, or about good beats that make me want to dance. I'm talking about high-pitched voices making me somewhat anti-social and cold, while deep voices are warm and inviting. High voices/noises make me feel a little crazy, and I can't concentrate. There's too much piercing, hard, high-frequency color.
Interesting, eh?
Life feels so... I dunno. I don't have much spare time. It's occupied mostly by work, commuting, the gym, and my side projects (2 Haiti relief committees)... and the possible new job (will update about that if/when things get rolling). It bugs me that though I'm always busy, I can't think of a narrative of what I'm doing, mostly because of work. I'm a biotechnological/medical factory worker, pounding out results as fast as possible, to generate maximum profits.
And that feels so... not me. I need to be nurturing, to help people reach their fullest potential, to be enlightening, to grow as a person and professionally. This job is not giving me that. I know it's not permanent, but I want more. So much more.
On another note, I've been obsessed with art lately. Not quite in making art, exactly. But the ideas, concepts, inspiration, forms, mediums, execution. I found out fairly recently that I experience synesthesia. Specifically, I see color when I listen to music, but not when I'm occupied with something else that I have to concentrate on, like working or driving. Often when I'm driving, for example, I find myself struggling to focus on driving because I want to experience the sounds and colors of the music I'm listening to.
Most of the time, I see colors in shapes and movement. For some songs, it may seem like I'm wearing tinted glasses. The day I put words to this experience was when Shibo was showing me Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek". I said, "Hey, guys, do you see color when you're listening to this song? This song is violet." And the room was tinted violet.
This realization helps me make sense of things I've observed about me, but that I hadn't quite figured out. For instance, certain sounds give me certain sensations. I'm not just talking about eerie strings making me scared, or about good beats that make me want to dance. I'm talking about high-pitched voices making me somewhat anti-social and cold, while deep voices are warm and inviting. High voices/noises make me feel a little crazy, and I can't concentrate. There's too much piercing, hard, high-frequency color.
Interesting, eh?