(no subject)
It has recently come to my attention that I am not incorrect in thinking that my friends aren't really my friends any more.
All I can say is I'm sorry for everything, and I'd try to explain why I say adn do the things I do, but I don't have a way.
Even I don't know who I am, and I've never really known how to act with people, and time after time it's ended so many friendships and I've never known how to save them, and the same goes now.
I don't mean to say so much of what I say.
I really don't.
But when I hear people around me saying those things, I start saying them, and I end up being the one getting in trouble for it.
And when I'm a bitch, I am really quite unaware of it, because no one says anything until it's too late.
And now I sound like I'm blaming anyone but me.
But it's my fault.
I've been the bitch.
And I'm sorry.
And I really don't mean to try and make things about me all the time but I'm just honestly shit when it comes to conversion a lot, which is why I end up resorting to myself of gossip, because I feel anything else I could say wouldn't interest people.
I'm really just insecure because I've been left and used a lot, so it has created something bad and someone who doesn't know anything about who or how to be.
And for all that I know nothing else to say but sorry.
I don't want to be alone.
And I'm sorry.
All I can say is I'm sorry for everything, and I'd try to explain why I say adn do the things I do, but I don't have a way.
Even I don't know who I am, and I've never really known how to act with people, and time after time it's ended so many friendships and I've never known how to save them, and the same goes now.
I don't mean to say so much of what I say.
I really don't.
But when I hear people around me saying those things, I start saying them, and I end up being the one getting in trouble for it.
And when I'm a bitch, I am really quite unaware of it, because no one says anything until it's too late.
And now I sound like I'm blaming anyone but me.
But it's my fault.
I've been the bitch.
And I'm sorry.
And I really don't mean to try and make things about me all the time but I'm just honestly shit when it comes to conversion a lot, which is why I end up resorting to myself of gossip, because I feel anything else I could say wouldn't interest people.
I'm really just insecure because I've been left and used a lot, so it has created something bad and someone who doesn't know anything about who or how to be.
And for all that I know nothing else to say but sorry.
I don't want to be alone.
And I'm sorry.