(no subject)
why is it that those who have the capacity to make us most happy
seem to make us most sad?
i just want the disappointment to stop.
i know that sounds stupid, because life is full of disappointments
but i feel like its time i was cut a break.
my whole life has been one mass of confusion after another
and as i pull myself from the rubble and ruins of one dream
another comes crashing down, pinning my body deep in the twisted wreckage of everything i know and want.
my life reads pathetically, like the familiar script of a lifetime movie.
complete with the domestics, the family ruining drug use, the life altering lies and bizzarre secrets, and of course the teen dramatist favorite: the "choice."
Every relationship i attempt to engage in seems so fucked up and i dont know who to blame, myself or my role models. Every achievement seems to go unnoticed. so i say im doing this for me. but what i really want is someone to be proud of me. someone to really and honestly support me through every step of the way. i need to find that in another human being. i need it like i need air because im drowning in my own river of self-sympathy and i just cant pull myself out anyore.
i could have.
if i hadnt spent the last 5 years in a mind-fuck.
one should find happiness within ones self. i know this.
and i am happy with me. until i realize nobody else is.
and i guess life is my recital and as i finish each solo i listen with bated breath and my eyes closed for the applause i know i deserve.
to find myself in an empty auditorium.
and i 1 hand clap for myself.
i need more change. i need a new world. where i am king.
seem to make us most sad?
i just want the disappointment to stop.
i know that sounds stupid, because life is full of disappointments
but i feel like its time i was cut a break.
my whole life has been one mass of confusion after another
and as i pull myself from the rubble and ruins of one dream
another comes crashing down, pinning my body deep in the twisted wreckage of everything i know and want.
my life reads pathetically, like the familiar script of a lifetime movie.
complete with the domestics, the family ruining drug use, the life altering lies and bizzarre secrets, and of course the teen dramatist favorite: the "choice."
Every relationship i attempt to engage in seems so fucked up and i dont know who to blame, myself or my role models. Every achievement seems to go unnoticed. so i say im doing this for me. but what i really want is someone to be proud of me. someone to really and honestly support me through every step of the way. i need to find that in another human being. i need it like i need air because im drowning in my own river of self-sympathy and i just cant pull myself out anyore.
i could have.
if i hadnt spent the last 5 years in a mind-fuck.
one should find happiness within ones self. i know this.
and i am happy with me. until i realize nobody else is.
and i guess life is my recital and as i finish each solo i listen with bated breath and my eyes closed for the applause i know i deserve.
to find myself in an empty auditorium.
and i 1 hand clap for myself.
i need more change. i need a new world. where i am king.