The view from down here.
A blank screen is forever daunting to me. I suppose this entry is long overdue, but truth be told, I haven't had too much to say.
In mid-July, I moved to Staunton, VA, which is positioned just outside Shenandoah National Forest, smack dab in the middle of a whole lot of beautiful mountains. We're in close proximity to two colleges, James Madison University in Harrisonburg (about 25 miles away), and Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, where I just started work. The town itself is historic and lovely, with a quaint downtown and gorgeous parks.
Southern hospitality is not a lie. People here have been really kind to me. I have no shortage of new friends, but I'm looking forward to making some of my own as opposed to piggybacking on Mandy and Josh's (although that was sort of the point of moving HERE in particular). I'm by no means short of things to do, although I often just want to hang out by myself on the porch, or watch Gossip Girl with Mandy, or drive around aimlessly. What can I say about Virginia? The people are kind, the area is beautiful, the weather is strange, and the SKY is better here. I suppose that's the altitude?
I'm on my second week of work at Mary Baldwin...and it was way beyond time for that to happen. This job is similar to what I was doing at Chemistry, only I have my own office. I have a window, outside of which is a cherry tree. I have a student minion (I have no idea what to have her do right now). I have a certain amount of freedom when it comes to hours. I don't have to make coffee or put out cookies, and I don't have to play hostess at seminars. I think the job will become much busier in the future, but for now it's really slow. It also pays better and my health insurance and other benefits start Oct. 1. I'm pretty sure I made a good decision with this one. And once again, Southern hospitality is TRUE. I've gotten all sorts of pleasant welcomes and an email to the entire faculty and staff to encourage them to stop by and say hello. Flowers and candy the first day, etc. It's really an awesome environment here.
Unemployment didn't suit me. It also left a lot of time for self-reflection, something I've needed but which makes discomfort with myself nearly inevitable. The last year of my life was a whirlwind of utter insanity. I was incredibly stupid more than once. Two people close to me passed away, and I hardly knew how to react. I learned
It's funny, I just sat here for three minutes staring at the blinking bar after "I learned." I can't be sure what I learned, really. That life is short, and it's immensely important to take advantage of the time you have with people? How trite. That your twenties shouldn't be about seeking the perfect relationship, as psychologists posit, but rather that they should be about finding yourself? I'm too much of a cynic to think these realizations are only my own, or that I'll even take advantage of them.
I miss Keith and Peter. Every time I write about a movie, I think of what Peter would say. He did more to nurture my goals than anyone else has, ever. There's a lot I regret. I regret that I didn't want to be with him. I regret that the last time I spoke to him in person, I was in a bad mood and scowled at his congratulations that I was finally a published reviewer. The last thing he said to me was "All you need to remember is that you're a film critic for NPR." That was one of the most heartening things I've heard in years.
I regret a lot about my relationship with Keith. I regret that we weren't close (or talking much at all) for the last couple of years. I wish I hadn't been such a teenager about our entire relationship. By and large, I wish I'd spent time with him while I still could. He was a good person. I hardly ever heard him say a bad thing about anyone, and I wish our personalities had meshed better. I don't know what else to say...? I'll miss his goofy presence when I go back to Bloomington, and I'll miss the Wappy Birthday greetings I'd receive on each birthday. I feel terrible for his family, who will grieve for the rest of their lives.
Bloomington grew to feel like a shroud. People come there to go to school, they fall in love, and they stay. I was born there and ready to get out. My parents didn't think it was the right decision, and I get this funny feeling many of my friends think the same. My solution to years and years of dissatisfaction was to run. Can I tell yet if that was the right decision? I have no desire to go back to Bloomington yet, but this is only a month in. I miss friends there, and think about calling often, but haven't done much of that yet (except with my parents). The weather is getting chilly here, and adjusting my schedule to be up at 7am again is rough. I think I can feel my seasonal affective BS kicking in, but I'm not letting myself succumb to it this year. New place, new people, new things to do, lots of goals (get an apartment, perhaps think about dating again, continue thinking about where to move next, or if I want to stay here a few years). I can't just lie around in a funk in my room all winter, not this time.
I've got a lot on my mind. I have strange dreams when I close my eyes. But I think this was the right step for me.
Case in point:
I re-started blogging about film and literature. Hopefully this will continue. If you have any interest, friend
dont_rely_on_me . I also finally got a stupid Twitter account ( dearmissjulia). Keep me company on the interwebz.
In mid-July, I moved to Staunton, VA, which is positioned just outside Shenandoah National Forest, smack dab in the middle of a whole lot of beautiful mountains. We're in close proximity to two colleges, James Madison University in Harrisonburg (about 25 miles away), and Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, where I just started work. The town itself is historic and lovely, with a quaint downtown and gorgeous parks.
Southern hospitality is not a lie. People here have been really kind to me. I have no shortage of new friends, but I'm looking forward to making some of my own as opposed to piggybacking on Mandy and Josh's (although that was sort of the point of moving HERE in particular). I'm by no means short of things to do, although I often just want to hang out by myself on the porch, or watch Gossip Girl with Mandy, or drive around aimlessly. What can I say about Virginia? The people are kind, the area is beautiful, the weather is strange, and the SKY is better here. I suppose that's the altitude?
I'm on my second week of work at Mary Baldwin...and it was way beyond time for that to happen. This job is similar to what I was doing at Chemistry, only I have my own office. I have a window, outside of which is a cherry tree. I have a student minion (I have no idea what to have her do right now). I have a certain amount of freedom when it comes to hours. I don't have to make coffee or put out cookies, and I don't have to play hostess at seminars. I think the job will become much busier in the future, but for now it's really slow. It also pays better and my health insurance and other benefits start Oct. 1. I'm pretty sure I made a good decision with this one. And once again, Southern hospitality is TRUE. I've gotten all sorts of pleasant welcomes and an email to the entire faculty and staff to encourage them to stop by and say hello. Flowers and candy the first day, etc. It's really an awesome environment here.
Unemployment didn't suit me. It also left a lot of time for self-reflection, something I've needed but which makes discomfort with myself nearly inevitable. The last year of my life was a whirlwind of utter insanity. I was incredibly stupid more than once. Two people close to me passed away, and I hardly knew how to react. I learned
It's funny, I just sat here for three minutes staring at the blinking bar after "I learned." I can't be sure what I learned, really. That life is short, and it's immensely important to take advantage of the time you have with people? How trite. That your twenties shouldn't be about seeking the perfect relationship, as psychologists posit, but rather that they should be about finding yourself? I'm too much of a cynic to think these realizations are only my own, or that I'll even take advantage of them.
I miss Keith and Peter. Every time I write about a movie, I think of what Peter would say. He did more to nurture my goals than anyone else has, ever. There's a lot I regret. I regret that I didn't want to be with him. I regret that the last time I spoke to him in person, I was in a bad mood and scowled at his congratulations that I was finally a published reviewer. The last thing he said to me was "All you need to remember is that you're a film critic for NPR." That was one of the most heartening things I've heard in years.
I regret a lot about my relationship with Keith. I regret that we weren't close (or talking much at all) for the last couple of years. I wish I hadn't been such a teenager about our entire relationship. By and large, I wish I'd spent time with him while I still could. He was a good person. I hardly ever heard him say a bad thing about anyone, and I wish our personalities had meshed better. I don't know what else to say...? I'll miss his goofy presence when I go back to Bloomington, and I'll miss the Wappy Birthday greetings I'd receive on each birthday. I feel terrible for his family, who will grieve for the rest of their lives.
Bloomington grew to feel like a shroud. People come there to go to school, they fall in love, and they stay. I was born there and ready to get out. My parents didn't think it was the right decision, and I get this funny feeling many of my friends think the same. My solution to years and years of dissatisfaction was to run. Can I tell yet if that was the right decision? I have no desire to go back to Bloomington yet, but this is only a month in. I miss friends there, and think about calling often, but haven't done much of that yet (except with my parents). The weather is getting chilly here, and adjusting my schedule to be up at 7am again is rough. I think I can feel my seasonal affective BS kicking in, but I'm not letting myself succumb to it this year. New place, new people, new things to do, lots of goals (get an apartment, perhaps think about dating again, continue thinking about where to move next, or if I want to stay here a few years). I can't just lie around in a funk in my room all winter, not this time.
I've got a lot on my mind. I have strange dreams when I close my eyes. But I think this was the right step for me.
Case in point:
I re-started blogging about film and literature. Hopefully this will continue. If you have any interest, friend
dont_rely_on_me . I also finally got a stupid Twitter account ( dearmissjulia). Keep me company on the interwebz.