Re: Another thought...luxvoodooAugust 20 2003, 04:20:16 UTC
You want me to clue you in on my headspace? I thought you said that would be so 1983. ;-)
I guess, for me (and I am by no means an expert on forgiveness), it all boils down to a couple of things. Are you the one making people feel awful, or has someone made you feel like crap? I see those as two very different things. I've found a lot of fences can be mended just by saying I'm sorry and asking for that forgiveness. People screw up and I'm certainly not immune. Treating people like crap makes me feel even worse. Why go around feeling like a dickhead when a few simple words might be able to fix it?
Where you get into a gray area is the people who screwed ~you~ over. That, as we've discussed in e-mails regarding an old friend, is a tough call; one I have no easy answer for. Is the person sincere? Does the person sound like they know they've made a mistake? Has the person changed since the big dicking over? And exactly how big was the dicking over in the first place? Lots of things to consider there.
Certainly there are quite a few people that I feel have shafted me over the years. Goddess knows I've spent a good chunk of time hashing all of it out in my other diary. If things had gone smoothly all the time for me, I'd have nothing to write about. In the long run, though, I find that once I dump it out there in cyberspace, I have a better perspective of things. For starters, not everybody sees the past the same. Experiences shared by two people may have two very different levels importance. And it's always been my belief that two people who grow apart intellectually/emotionally/physically etc. should be able to acknowledge the change and move on. This would have to include someone being the bigger person and apologizing. Once an apology is out there, then someone should accept, but only if both sides are sincere about it. I dunno. Forgiveness seems to be a lost art these days. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe the world really doesn't work that way anymore. People hurt each other all the time without thinking about it. I just think honest and forgiveness would make a lot of people feel less crappy.
But like I said, since I'm not sure which side of the fence your quote was sitting on, it's hard to make a judgment call. My initial post was just the first thing that jumped to mind after reading your quote. *shrugs*
I guess, for me (and I am by no means an expert on forgiveness), it all boils down to a couple of things. Are you the one making people feel awful, or has someone made you feel like crap? I see those as two very different things. I've found a lot of fences can be mended just by saying I'm sorry and asking for that forgiveness. People screw up and I'm certainly not immune. Treating people like crap makes me feel even worse. Why go around feeling like a dickhead when a few simple words might be able to fix it?
Where you get into a gray area is the people who screwed ~you~ over. That, as we've discussed in e-mails regarding an old friend, is a tough call; one I have no easy answer for. Is the person sincere? Does the person sound like they know they've made a mistake? Has the person changed since the big dicking over? And exactly how big was the dicking over in the first place? Lots of things to consider there.
Certainly there are quite a few people that I feel have shafted me over the years. Goddess knows I've spent a good chunk of time hashing all of it out in my other diary. If things had gone smoothly all the time for me, I'd have nothing to write about. In the long run, though, I find that once I dump it out there in cyberspace, I have a better perspective of things. For starters, not everybody sees the past the same. Experiences shared by two people may have two very different levels importance. And it's always been my belief that two people who grow apart intellectually/emotionally/physically etc. should be able to acknowledge the change and move on. This would have to include someone being the bigger person and apologizing. Once an apology is out there, then someone should accept, but only if both sides are sincere about it. I dunno. Forgiveness seems to be a lost art these days. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe the world really doesn't work that way anymore. People hurt each other all the time without thinking about it. I just think honest and forgiveness would make a lot of people feel less crappy.
But like I said, since I'm not sure which side of the fence your quote was sitting on, it's hard to make a judgment call. My initial post was just the first thing that jumped to mind after reading your quote. *shrugs*
"Even if…even if…you don't love me anymore…" ;-)
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