NAPOLI ARE NAKED
Napoli may not have been able to overtake Juve, or win the Coppa again, but by winning the Bologna match we qualified for the Champions League! \o/ Accordingly, there was an incredible amount of stripping, which I am spamming for my and your delectation.
Kickoff. Morgan seems incredibly suspicious of the ref. The assistants, in turn, seem suspicious of his suspicion. This will create a never-ending circle causing a second Calciopoli.
Bless the tifosi, who seem to have mixed the CL up with the EU.
We scored a goal! Inler celebrated by strangling Dzemaili. (If you’re wondering why he’s on the pitch, he used his evil magical powers to hobble Behrami. Excellent work, Gokhan.)
After the next goal, he received a taste of his own medicine. (My god, that clown thing in the background is scary.)
Much better. Hello, PCan’s bum.
Cavani converted a penalty! \o/ Since he thinks he can dance, he ran to join Armero and Zuniga, who actually can dance. Inler, who does neither, tacked himself onto the end.
Didn’t stop him giving it a go.
Napoli are so, so weird.
...Oh. Cavani apparently likes having his hair pulled by Rolando. OK, then.
WOO HOO WE’RE IN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!1!
(I think that’s Morgan.)
Inler swapped shirts (with whom, I do not know) and went looking for his Armero.
Yay!
...HOLY SHIT, YES. THIS SEASON WAS 100% WORTH IT.
Hamsik and his bits lined up everyone for the big jump.
(That bloke’s Gokhan Inler. I love him, if I haven’t mentioned that before.)
How can we persuade them to wear these outfits more often?
YAY!!! (Blimey, look at Blerim’s whippetty waist.)
...Er, and Insigne’s parts.
Ah, Rolando is collapsing with the giggles. Well, I like him a lot more now.
Possibly this is Marek’s robot dance.
Insigne’s bum heaves into view! I give it 9/10.
Inler wore it better.
Bloody hell, look at Zuzu’s back!
Lololol PCan is showing us the score. Thank you, PCan.
I’m too scared to ask what the hell’s going on here.
Seriously. Is Dzemaili grabbing Rolando’s crotch? Is Morgan fucking the shirt? Why are Morgan’s eyes so terrifying?
Thank goodness. Inler has arrived to bring... erm, sanity to proceedings?
YAY!
DANCIN’ TIME.
Ooh, madam.
Quick, stop the dancing! Cavani’s here!
He’s OK at hugging.
A lot better than that man in the suit, anyway.
Aaaaahhhhhhh. <3
Is Walter crying?
Lolololol. Bless Pandev and his hairy back. <3
Ooh. I think that’s Blerim.
Hugging older men, as usual.
...Edi, you actually need another part to get that to work.
Look, he is not all skin and bone!
YAY SPOGLIATOIO! NUDITY!
...Well, this is awkward.
You know what, I think I’ll just skip this and get back to the good stuff...
I am generally opposed to tattoos above knobs, but PCan’s is certainly eye-catching. (And not his son’s name. Or his mother’s.)
YAY DRUNKENNESS!
I don’t even know who that bloke on the right is, let alone why he’s oiled up. (Grava is performing his one useful role at this club.)
O.o
I am amazed someone that scrawny can play football at all, let alone be brilliant at it.
MOAR NUDITY! MOAR!
And finally: dirtbunnies, you said the 2012 Napoli calendar was inaccurate because it showed Cavani pouring alcohol. Ha. Ha!
That is all - although we’ve got two matches left, so I suppose they might have time for extra shirt-removal in that time.