Shag/marry/cliff meme
Let the chucking and shagging begin. >:D
Now, remember the rules: the women fit into the traditional live with/shag/cliff pattern, but for the men it’s use as sperm donor/kiss on the cheek/cliff. Got it? Excellent. Let’s go.
la_fono gave me Molly Weasley, Minerva McGonagall and Bellatrix Lestrange.
Move in with: Molly, without a doubt. She wouldn’t mind looking after my disabled self at all; she would FUSS over me! Ha! I’d never be able to get into the kitchen, admittedly, and I’d have a hard time convincing her that one doesn’t starve to death on a vegan diet, but apart from that it sounds like heaven. ¦D
Shag: McGonagall. *Appreciative face* Rawrrr. (If she turns into a cat afterwards, there will also be ace cuddling. No Transfiguration during, please.)
Cliff: Bellatrix. *Boots* Yes, she looks very fit in the films and all, but the killing Muggles thing is a bit off-putting.
She also gave me Ron, Dumbledore and Snape. This was a trickier proposition, as Ron and Dumbles were neck and neck: on the one hand, both would amply boost my own ginger genes, but on the other, they both deserve a kiss. Like pretty much everyone else, I like Dumbledore a lot more since reading Deathly Hallows; he irritated the shit out of me before that, but now I’m quite fond of the old buffer. Ron, meanwhile, deserves some adoration for being so foully abused by fangirls. Snape, though... cover your eyes for a minute, elethian, there’s nothing to see here. *Whistles*
Semen donor: Dumbledore. Being gay, he’d be an excellent co-parent; arranging visits, taking the kids to visit Uncle Evil in Nurmengard, all that. Not quite sure how I’d cope if the bairn turned out to be magical, though.
Kiss: Ron. It occurred to me at the last moment that given my own uncanny resemblance to Hermione (same hair, birthday, middle name, studiousness etc) he might fall in love with me, so it’s probably best if I don’t add kids to the mix.
Cliff: Snape. *Kicks with great gusto* I had teachers at high school exactly like him, except without the crocodile hearts and armadillo bile. Why people fancy him I have no idea, apart from the Alan factor.
roadtoharmony gave me Christi Chivu, Phil Mexes and José Mourinho.
As you can see, there are three great sets of genes here, two people who would benefit greatly from being chucked off a cliff every once in a while and another one with chubby little cheeks that were just made for kissing. Since poor innocent Chivu is definitely NOT getting the cliff, the question is: which of our petulant pretties gets the cliff, and which the turkey baster? José, after all, is intolerably smug, while Phil does stupid things like this:
On the whole, though, I think it would be infinitely more fun to push José off a short cliff with sand or water at the bottom, just so that I could see his put out and indignant little face XD Accordingly, my results are:
Sperm donor: Phil.
Exquisitely pretty children, here I come! I also suspect Phil might have the same beneficial inclinations as Dumbledore. Better keep them apart, though; Phil looks a lot like Grindelwald’s supposed to, so Dumbles might fall in love.
Kiss: Christi.
Goes without saying. (He would giggle, too.)
Cliff: José, and yes, I promise to take a picture. XD I think it will look a little like this:
She also gave me Natalie Portman, Monica Belucci and Helen Svedin (who is the footballer Luis Figo’s wife, for you HP fen). They’re all a bit skinny for me, but I am a generous lady and will not let this get in the way. The question is whether I should move in with Portman and yak abut veganism (and cook her bountiful animal-free meals! That’d sort out the skinniness all right), or Svedin to talk about football. Decisions, decisions!
Move in with: Helen.
She looks more cheerful, that’s the thing; it’s that constant, mischievous grin! Just what I need. (Also, poor, bereft Figo can console himself with Conny. XD)
Shag: Portman.
No explanation needed. ¦) (She seems much more serious than Helen, hence the one-night stand.)
Cliff: Bellucci!
It had better have a trampoline at the bottom; I’m sure she’ll appreciate the opportunity for some seaside bouncing. (I don’t fancy her for the rather petty reason of not liking her haircut. I quite appreciated that feathery thing she had in the late 90s, but the long hair with the blunt fringe does not appeal.)
calzamante gave me Alice Bregoli (Gila’s wife-to-be), Adriana Maldini (Paolo’s wife) and Adelina Chivu (Chivu’s wife).
...And she ALSO gave me Gila, Maldini and Chivu. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to bundle them together in a giant bisexual threesome, or not. Since I have clinical depression, I am also seriously concerned about the potential dangers of mixing Gila’s DNA with mine. Chivu’s, of course, would have the opposite effect, and I like his wife and baby, too. So...
Move in with/use as sperm donor: Chivus.
Adelina, if you don’t know, used to present the sports programmes. So I’ll be able to talk about Romanian football ALL THE TIME. \o/ We will also have a whole house full of cute brown-eyed children, so even I will be unable to remain depressed! Whoo! *Dances*
Shag/kiss on cheek: Gila and Alice.
Gila can watch. We might even get a mournful, flustered smile out of him!
Cliff: Er, by default, it'll have to be Paolo and Adriana.
Off a very small cliff, in the middle of the night, a very, very long way from both Milan and Hull.
acityofwonder gave me Consuelo Mutu, Ilary Blasi and Alena Seradova.
Since I don’t know much about them except who their hubbies are and what they look like, my choices will be entirely superficial.
Move in with: Consuelo. Yum.
As long as she doesn't wear that outfit, we'll be fine. Plus, maybe she too will be prepared to talk abut Romanian football? Or maybe she’ll just scream “I’ve had it up to here with football, shut up!” whenever I mention it. Either way, her children are cute.
Shag: Blasi.
Not only is she fit, but I take a childish glee in the thought of pinching Totti’s bird. *Hides from Marie*
Cliff: Seradova. Nothing personal, I just don’t fancy her that much, even if I have seen her bum.
Phew! That was fun. XD
Now, remember the rules: the women fit into the traditional live with/shag/cliff pattern, but for the men it’s use as sperm donor/kiss on the cheek/cliff. Got it? Excellent. Let’s go.
la_fono gave me Molly Weasley, Minerva McGonagall and Bellatrix Lestrange.
Move in with: Molly, without a doubt. She wouldn’t mind looking after my disabled self at all; she would FUSS over me! Ha! I’d never be able to get into the kitchen, admittedly, and I’d have a hard time convincing her that one doesn’t starve to death on a vegan diet, but apart from that it sounds like heaven. ¦D
Shag: McGonagall. *Appreciative face* Rawrrr. (If she turns into a cat afterwards, there will also be ace cuddling. No Transfiguration during, please.)
Cliff: Bellatrix. *Boots* Yes, she looks very fit in the films and all, but the killing Muggles thing is a bit off-putting.
She also gave me Ron, Dumbledore and Snape. This was a trickier proposition, as Ron and Dumbles were neck and neck: on the one hand, both would amply boost my own ginger genes, but on the other, they both deserve a kiss. Like pretty much everyone else, I like Dumbledore a lot more since reading Deathly Hallows; he irritated the shit out of me before that, but now I’m quite fond of the old buffer. Ron, meanwhile, deserves some adoration for being so foully abused by fangirls. Snape, though... cover your eyes for a minute, elethian, there’s nothing to see here. *Whistles*
Semen donor: Dumbledore. Being gay, he’d be an excellent co-parent; arranging visits, taking the kids to visit Uncle Evil in Nurmengard, all that. Not quite sure how I’d cope if the bairn turned out to be magical, though.
Kiss: Ron. It occurred to me at the last moment that given my own uncanny resemblance to Hermione (same hair, birthday, middle name, studiousness etc) he might fall in love with me, so it’s probably best if I don’t add kids to the mix.
Cliff: Snape. *Kicks with great gusto* I had teachers at high school exactly like him, except without the crocodile hearts and armadillo bile. Why people fancy him I have no idea, apart from the Alan factor.
roadtoharmony gave me Christi Chivu, Phil Mexes and José Mourinho.
As you can see, there are three great sets of genes here, two people who would benefit greatly from being chucked off a cliff every once in a while and another one with chubby little cheeks that were just made for kissing. Since poor innocent Chivu is definitely NOT getting the cliff, the question is: which of our petulant pretties gets the cliff, and which the turkey baster? José, after all, is intolerably smug, while Phil does stupid things like this:
On the whole, though, I think it would be infinitely more fun to push José off a short cliff with sand or water at the bottom, just so that I could see his put out and indignant little face XD Accordingly, my results are:
Sperm donor: Phil.
Exquisitely pretty children, here I come! I also suspect Phil might have the same beneficial inclinations as Dumbledore. Better keep them apart, though; Phil looks a lot like Grindelwald’s supposed to, so Dumbles might fall in love.
Kiss: Christi.
Goes without saying. (He would giggle, too.)
Cliff: José, and yes, I promise to take a picture. XD I think it will look a little like this:
She also gave me Natalie Portman, Monica Belucci and Helen Svedin (who is the footballer Luis Figo’s wife, for you HP fen). They’re all a bit skinny for me, but I am a generous lady and will not let this get in the way. The question is whether I should move in with Portman and yak abut veganism (and cook her bountiful animal-free meals! That’d sort out the skinniness all right), or Svedin to talk about football. Decisions, decisions!
Move in with: Helen.
She looks more cheerful, that’s the thing; it’s that constant, mischievous grin! Just what I need. (Also, poor, bereft Figo can console himself with Conny. XD)
Shag: Portman.
No explanation needed. ¦) (She seems much more serious than Helen, hence the one-night stand.)
Cliff: Bellucci!
It had better have a trampoline at the bottom; I’m sure she’ll appreciate the opportunity for some seaside bouncing. (I don’t fancy her for the rather petty reason of not liking her haircut. I quite appreciated that feathery thing she had in the late 90s, but the long hair with the blunt fringe does not appeal.)
calzamante gave me Alice Bregoli (Gila’s wife-to-be), Adriana Maldini (Paolo’s wife) and Adelina Chivu (Chivu’s wife).
...And she ALSO gave me Gila, Maldini and Chivu. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to bundle them together in a giant bisexual threesome, or not. Since I have clinical depression, I am also seriously concerned about the potential dangers of mixing Gila’s DNA with mine. Chivu’s, of course, would have the opposite effect, and I like his wife and baby, too. So...
Move in with/use as sperm donor: Chivus.
Adelina, if you don’t know, used to present the sports programmes. So I’ll be able to talk about Romanian football ALL THE TIME. \o/ We will also have a whole house full of cute brown-eyed children, so even I will be unable to remain depressed! Whoo! *Dances*
Shag/kiss on cheek: Gila and Alice.
Gila can watch. We might even get a mournful, flustered smile out of him!
Cliff: Er, by default, it'll have to be Paolo and Adriana.
Off a very small cliff, in the middle of the night, a very, very long way from both Milan and Hull.
acityofwonder gave me Consuelo Mutu, Ilary Blasi and Alena Seradova.
Since I don’t know much about them except who their hubbies are and what they look like, my choices will be entirely superficial.
Move in with: Consuelo. Yum.
As long as she doesn't wear that outfit, we'll be fine. Plus, maybe she too will be prepared to talk abut Romanian football? Or maybe she’ll just scream “I’ve had it up to here with football, shut up!” whenever I mention it. Either way, her children are cute.
Shag: Blasi.
Not only is she fit, but I take a childish glee in the thought of pinching Totti’s bird. *Hides from Marie*
Cliff: Seradova. Nothing personal, I just don’t fancy her that much, even if I have seen her bum.
Phew! That was fun. XD