thoughts of a lonely new momma with nothing but time on her hands...
*sigh* boober gets to go wherever he wants, whenever he wants and i'm stuck here alone on this damned couch. i am really beginning to HATE this couch. after 10 months sitting on it, it's bound to happen. i'm feeling lonely and depressed, and yes, even envious. it's not fair but such is the life of the breastfeeding momma. i have to make these sacrifices for my son's wellbeing... it doesn't make the sacrifices any easier nor does it make me feel any better. i can't even fucking work yet and i absolutely hate it. i need company, i need friends, i need to get off this god forsaken couch and out of this damn house... i need something to keep me occupied aside from mahjongg and myspace and facebook and the brain sucking television... i need coffee. i'm feeling uber depressed, and it scares me. for my son's wellbeing, i can't let that happen.
speaking of depressed thoughts, my father's phone is quite oficially shut off. it seems i will never hear from him ever again... never know if he is alive or dead, sober or cracked out... nothing. my number changed so he can't contact me. it's really sad. the nowotny family really is dead.
god i need to get out. i need to get drunk. or something. i need a break from responsibility. seriously. i need to unwind. i need to be crazy and spontanious. god, i miss being crazy and spontanious...
speaking of depressed thoughts, my father's phone is quite oficially shut off. it seems i will never hear from him ever again... never know if he is alive or dead, sober or cracked out... nothing. my number changed so he can't contact me. it's really sad. the nowotny family really is dead.
god i need to get out. i need to get drunk. or something. i need a break from responsibility. seriously. i need to unwind. i need to be crazy and spontanious. god, i miss being crazy and spontanious...